hadrielmods: (Default)
ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴅʀɪᴇʟ ([personal profile] hadrielmods) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2016-05-03 08:47 am

Event Log: A Jar Full of Sunshine

Who: Everyone!
What: The Jar Full of Sunshine event
Where: Throughout the city
When: May 3rd-May 9th
Warnings: Fireflies as a conduit for drug use. Annoyingly catchy songs.

On May 3rd, you may wake up and notice that something is different about the cave. Are you sure it's the daytime? Maybe you didn't sleep long enough, because it still seems pretty dark outside. Or, of course, the gods are messing with the lights again.

This time, however, it seems like it's actually a good thing. Sometime around the afternoon, some smaller lights begin to appear around the city, trickling in from Delight's temple and flickering on and off. These fireflies are brighter than what you might be used to, but being illuminated by their light will mysteriously allow a small surge of joy to rumble through you.

By May 4th, the shops are stocked with large mason jars, and you can start distributing them and using them to catch these fireflies as you wish. They're most concentrated in and around Delight's temple, but by now, the delight-erflies are pretty fairly spread throughout the city.

Be careful (or don't) of how many you catch! 1-3 fireflies in a jar will be enough to give you a mild emotional boost, at 4-6 you might be able to realize that you're definitely happier than you used to be, at 7-10, you can definitely tell that something is making you more cheerful, warm and happy. Beyond 10 fireflies, the additional effect gets smaller the more fireflies you capture, but it will still continue to build until you may just spend the next few days wrapped around your firefly jar in a pleasantly drugged stupor.

Just, uh... don't forget to eat.

► This log covers May 3rd-May 9th.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► Did you OD on fireflies (is that even possible)? Please remember to hit up our death post!
circumitus: Otherwise you'd be a dad by now. (thank god you're gay)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-04 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[Rey, on the other hand, is not smiling.

[If she had her emotions intact, she would have probably marveled the beauty of Bianca's position. The light, the fireflies in her hair. It's better than when the insects land on Rey, that's for sure. Normally, she can appreciate something beautiful. Something rare. But she has been lacking in such appreciation for a while now.

[Soon, Bianca will find the scar-faced woman looming over her, dimly lit by the glow of the fireflies.]


What are you doing?

[Her tones carry a robotic inflection when she asks, more detached than usual and certainly devoid of the joy that the light bugs' presence produce for others.]
wormintheglass: (smile)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-04 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bianca, who secretly rather enjoys being loomed over, smiles and reaches up to touch Rey's face.]

Communing with fireflies, lovely Rey.

You haven't been right since you came back, have you? Come. Tell Bianca all about it.
circumitus: There's my chippy! (where's my chippy?)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-04 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Communing--?

[Okay, being face-touched was not part of the agenda today, but whatever. Like Rey cares.

[She just blinks.]
That's... all right. Am fine now.

[The phrase has been so commonplace in conversations lately that it may as well become her mantra. As if she says it enough times, perhaps it'll come true and/or people will actually start believing her when she says she's fine.]
wormintheglass: (devious? moi?)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-04 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course you are, my darling. You're always fine.

[They both know it's not true, but it's easier to pretend to agree than to argue - easier and, in Bianca's experience, more effective.]


But I want to see you relax a little, so come here. Indulge me.
circumitus: We know how you feel. (kid you're lost in the wheel)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-04 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's actually a welcome change from what Rey is used to, even though she's pretty sure that Bianca doesn't believe her.]

...

Indulge you how?

[It's easier just to play Dumb Robot for now. She isn't going to comment on the "needs relaxing" part. This is about as relaxed as Rey is going to get.]
Edited 2016-05-04 21:05 (UTC)
wormintheglass: (smile)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-05 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bianca does not want to get up, but Rey is too large to pull down easily, so she does the next best thing: she uses Rey to pull herself up instead.

This is its own kind of pleasure; anyone with eyes can see Rey is large and muscular, but Bianca hadn't expected her to be nearly this solid. By the time Bianca is mostly upright (hanging off Rey's neck counts as upright, right?) she's smiling brilliantly.]

You're like climbing a tree. It's wonderful.

[And then, more quietly, her eyes large and dark and fixed on Rey's:]


Something terrible happened while you were gone, didn't it?
circumitus: 'Cause it makes him feel like a fish. (says he likes to get high and swim)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-05 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Oof--

[Rey may be a walking tree, but she wasn't expecting to have a woman try and climb her. She manages to stand upright though, supporting both herself and Bianca as the other woman is standing there.

[Her mouth tightens into a straighter line than before.]


Sure. You could say that... Wouldn't want to ruin your buzz, though.

[Nothing quite kills a buzz like Rey.]
wormintheglass: (tender)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-05 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You always put others' wishes before your own, don't you? Oh Rey, you could drop a meteorite on this cave without ruining this buzz.

[Bianca reaches up to cup Rey's cheek, and reaches out with her mind. There's nothing forceful in it, only Bianca's feelings about Rey made palpable, and those are very gentle, even protective.

Along with them comes the fireflies' glowing aura of reasonless, pointless joy: it fills Bianca right now like champagne fills a crystal flute, and for Rey she shares the mental image of it spilling over.]


Take some joy, sweet one.

circumitus: Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid. (you don't want any of i have)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-05 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Am not...

[Before she can finish, her heart skips a few beats for the first time in weeks.

[Panic mixes with that joy and Rey jumps back, breaking contact with Bianca. What might be considered an actual good thing leaves her reasonably shaken.]


Can't! [It's been a while since she's heard her own voice rise above a level, neutral tone. But now she has an excuse and it's for all the scary reasons.

[Taking a moment, she shakes her head. It isn't the psychic reach that rattles her. It's feeling anything in general.]


...Shouldn't. Taking the joy means taking everything else with it, and...

[She can't feel again. Not yet. She doesn't trust herself to.]
Edited 2016-05-06 04:04 (UTC)
wormintheglass: (dubious)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-06 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Rey.

[It's not exactly usual for Bianca to feel real compassion, and mostly she's all right with that. Compassion only opens you up to a lot of grief and effort, after all.

But Rey makes her hearts ache. She drops her hands, but not her eye contact, and speaks in a low, soft voice.]


And everything else was too terrible to let yourself feel it. Am I right, sweet Rey?

[Not that Bianca waits for an answer. She assumes she's nearly always right.]

I could ...blur those memories for you. If you wanted.
circumitus: I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine. (babies are disgusting)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-06 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[The offer is all too tempting, more than it should be. If not for the fact that Rey has a long and agonizing history of having her head messed with over her many lives, she probably would've jumped on the opportunity to make it all go away.

[But she can't. Or, she could, but she shouldn't. Because it's only going to be a band-aid, a temporary fix. And when it's over it always comes back tenfold, far worse than before.

[She shakes her head again, retreating a few hesitant steps from Bianca. She isn't afraid. It isn't possible for her to get scared. Not now. It's pretty damn close though.]


No. It isn't the memories that's the problem, it's... [She looks away briefly, tearing her eyes from Bianca's.] It's this place. The fact that our emotions can be used against us. Did not come this far to escape being being someone's tool only to be used by another the same way.

It's... better not to feel anything than to be forced to feel -- and become something else.

[Says Rey, anyway.]
wormintheglass: (dubious)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-11 01:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[Right now, blissed out on fireflies and awash with protective tenderness for Rey, it's easy for Bianca to feel like her best self: the one who asks before reaching to mess with someone's mind. The one who remembers the many people she didn't ask, the many times she did it to serve only her own interests.

Guilt is not an emotion Bianca ever allows into her head, so clearly the distress on her face is only about Rey, only applicable to the here and now. She crosses her arms, hugging herself to stop herself reaching for Rey.]


Darling. Sweet child. They do that to all of us, here. But cutting yourself off from all feelings?

I don't think that's going to be very sustainable.
circumitus: I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients. (food confession)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-11 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[Even Rey can recognize the conflict waging within Bianca right now. For the time being, she keeps her distance, certain that if she moves any closer she'll only be making the situation worse.]

Perhaps not, but it was better than being forced to kill again at the time. [Regardless of what anyone else thinks.]

Going from feeling nothing to feeling everything all over again is just as dangerous. Could get others killed. Could get killed.

[Not from the emotions themselves, but what they may do to her. To her sanity.]
wormintheglass: (Bianca)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-12 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[She sighs.]

And if I point out that here we have a useful god who can bring us back, I won't change your mind, will I, sweet Rey? Because it feels right to you, doesn't it? To take on everyone's burden of suffering for them?

You don't think you deserve joy.
circumitus: (goddammit you're a loose cannon)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-12 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
It isn't about who deserves what. In the end, am doing this for entirely selfish reasons.

[Because it is selfish when, really, others have so far appeared to be more affected by Rey's decision than Rey is.]

And so what if there's someone who can bring people back when they die? Who's to say that he'll someday decide who not to bring back? Or alter them in some way? It'd be foolish not to question the integrity of anything that calls themselves "gods".
wormintheglass: (devious? moi?)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-15 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Good. You aren't nearly selfish enough.

[Bianca isn't sure she actually believes this: Rey, like Jack, strikes her as nearly incapable of true selfishness. But she smiles anyway to hear Rey claim it.]


It's not about integrity, sweet thing. I doubt any of the gods here would know integrity if it crawled up their legs and bit them on the buttock.

But we're their food supply. If I take anything for granted, it's the gods' capacity to act in their own interests. They won't let any of us stay dead while they have a use for us.
circumitus: Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. (i hate your face)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-15 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
If you say so.

[Whether Bianca believes her or not makes no difference to Rey. She can't tell if that was a facetious comment just then, but she decides to shrug it off anyway.]

Yes, and they'll keep on manipulating us. Making us feel what they want us to feel and act like they want us to act.

In any case, this isn't something that can simply be switched on and off. Need time.
wormintheglass: (dubious)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-15 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
They will. And our own force of will, our own needs and desires and impulses, selfish or otherwise, are our strongest line of defence. You shouldn't cut your nose off to spite the gods, sweet Rey; you'll spite yourself far more than they.

[She sighs.]


For you, I have infinite time.
circumitus: its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. he has a lazy eye for christ sakes. (your girlfriend is a south jersey whore)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-15 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
A bit late for that.

[Rey is already swimming in a sea of self-loathing as it is. Or, she would be -- even more so, anyway -- had she gone through with what had been intended for her. If she had killed that girl by the river.

[Not feeling anything is far better than going through that.]


Funny. You didn't seem to be the patient type.
wormintheglass: (impish)

[personal profile] wormintheglass 2016-05-15 05:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[She has to smile again at that.]

I'm not. Not in the slightest. But if you live long enough, you learn patience regardless.
circumitus: There's my chippy! (where's my chippy?)

[personal profile] circumitus 2016-05-15 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bianca seems to say this like she's older than she seems. And who knows? Perhaps she is. Rey is older than she appears. One can never be certain in this place.]

Apologies for the inconvenience, regardless.