themightykamina: (look to tomorrow)
Kamina the Great! ([personal profile] themightykamina) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2016-06-03 11:25 am

(no subject)

Who: Kamina and you! And you, and you too! And maybe some monsters, who knows.
What: Week in the life of Hadriel's favorite loudmouth revolutionary.
Where: Cave mouths, lakeshore, shops, apartment 1-101, misc?
When: Now through June 11!
Warnings: Just annoyance, high decibels, and maybe some mild violence?

Cave mouths:
[You can probably smell Kamina coming before you see him. He's been in the caves for a while now in an attempt first to keep himself from murdering anyone, then to find his way back out again. He looks like a mess. Hair bedraggled, covered in dust and grime and liberal splashes of what may or may not be his blood, at least he still seems to be in good spirits? Emerging from the cave mouth, he pauses and stretches his arms over his head, yawning hugely and with a groan.]

Never thought I'd be happy to see this place again. Phew!

[He's had his fill of the caves for a while. Instead, Kamina's about to start investigating another interesting spot in Hadriel: the lake. So far, though, he's just having a hard time getting over the sight of so much water in one place. Jiiha had plenty of water, it was just in wells. Open water like this? For once, he's happy to just sit on the shore, legs crossed and hand planted on his knee.]

Wonder if there's any fish in there...?


[One might notice, walking by the shops, there seems to be an awful lot of clatter coming from one building in particular. A crashing, you might even say. A full-out rumpus. And the source of that rumpus? One bare-chested, blue-haired miscreant, who is apparently more intent on finding whatever it is he's looking for in the cabinets behind the counter than he is putting things back neatly.]


[Kamina knows he's been gone for a while this time. Thankfully, his apartment's still there when he gets back to it, and the door still opens for him. Stepping inside, he drops his pack by the door, looking around.]

Oi! I'm home! Anyone here?
bekommen: (we are standing on the edge.)


[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-03 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's not looking for him anymore. She gave up, assumed he found a way out and left her behind. (Everyone leaves her behind; why should he be any different?) She's accepted it by now, made her best attempt to move on with whatever life she has in this shithole.

But the noise from inside the shop catches her attention as she's passing by, so she cautiously pokes her head in to find the source of the disturbance. Even from the back, he's impossible not to recognize. Nick's heart drops hard into her stomach, and before she has time to fully process the reality of what's going on, her hand closes around a can of beans set on one of the nearby shelves.

Then she hurls the can at him with as much force as she can muster, scowling fiercely.]
bekommen: (i don't want anything anyway.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-03 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
You asshole!

[Another can is clutched tight in her hand, this time not aimed as truly at him; when she throws it at him, it veers to the side and impacts against the wall.]

"What gives?" What fucking gives?!

[And another can goes sailing through the air, leaving Nick shaking and huffing for breath with the force of her rage.]

Fuck you, Kamina, you were gone!
Edited 2016-06-03 18:42 (UTC)
bekommen: (we are standing on the edge.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-06 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
I called you like a hundred times, you shitball! Don't you ever check your fucking messages?

[She doesn't reach for any more cans, just curls her fingers into white-knuckled fists at her sides.]

I almost killed someone too, you know? I thought -

[Her voice cracks, threatening to unleash something dark and tumultuous she's been keeping locked inside of her for weeks and weeks. Nick bites down on her trembling bottom lip and shakes her head.]

Fuck this.

[She turns to leave.]
bekommen: (i don't want anything anyway.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-07 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Fuckin' peachy.

[Which is the biggest lie she's told either of them in at least the last five minutes. She'd almost managed to convince herself that she was over it all - the whole almost-murdering Maketh thing, the way it made her feel like more of an actual literal monster than anything had since her Becoming, that first time she'd transformed into the hideous doll shape. And in an instant, all the fear and anger and self-loathing comes flooding back, washing over her so fast she can barely breathe.]

Leave me alone.
bekommen: (gimme shelter.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-07 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Nick halts in her tracks. She can't even explain her behavior to herself, much less him. All she knows is that all of her insides hurt in unfamiliar ways, poking holes in her carefully constructed armor from underneath. She doesn't turn to face him, simply responds over her shoulder.]

I thought you were dead. Again. And then you didn't come back, and I - look, I didn't know what to think, all right? Just forget it.

[He's fine. She can be fine too.]
bekommen: (and now the old ways don't seem true.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-07 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[She doesn't pull away - not at first, not until he starts spouting that ridiculous impossible bullshit that always comes pouring out when he starts running his mouth. Then Nick pulls out from under his hand and turns to face him, expression set in a mix of incredulity and anger.]

Jesus, you are so full of shit - do you ever even listen to yourself?

[Her eyes narrow as she pins a stony glare on him.]

People leave. It happens all the fucking time, they die and they don't come back, or they decide you're not worth the fucking effort anymore, and - they just leave, OK?

[She realizes a moment too late that she's said too much, betrayed more than she should have. I thought you decided you were done with me, too. But she refuses to back down. This is how the world actually works; this is something she knows to be true.]

It's what they do. It's what people always do.
bekommen: (for fear tonight is all.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-11 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
[That's part of the problem, though - he's died, and yet lives to tell the tale. And that's an uncomfortable thing for Nick to remember, because people don't come back from the dead where she's from. Her father died, and it ruined her life, and no amount of wishing or praying (when she still believed in a God who listened and loved her) ever changed that. And the dream about him maybe made too sharp of a reminder of that, recently.

Her expression shifts - not quite soft, but it's not as hard as it was, because there's something else that overtakes the anger, something that looks a lot like pain, even from this close distance.]

Shut up.

[It's said quietly, almost half-hearted.]
Edited 2016-06-11 02:02 (UTC)
bekommen: (gimme shelter.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-11 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Just about everything about him makes her uncomfortable, including that goddamn smile. Nick's stomach flips, like being on an elevator that's moving too fast, and she feels like it's too hard to breathe with him standing this close. She's not drunk now, but she still can't think straight - that much is obvious by the simple fact of what she does next, leans in and presses her mouth to his, just for a moment. Then she pulls back with a panicked expression and shuffles a half-step backwards.]

bekommen: (i don't want anything anyway.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-13 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
I don't fucking know, all right?

[Nick rakes a hand through her hair in agitation.]

Jesus. I hate everybody, and you drive me fucking crazy, always running your mouth all the time about the stupidest bullshit.

[And yet ... she can't stop thinking about him. That entire time he was gone, all she could think about was that stupidly drunken night and the things she'd said and the things she did and the things he didn't do, and she just isn't any good at analyzing her own feelings.]

Just - forget it, OK? I'm an asshole, and I'm fucking stupid besides.

[And this is just embarrassing. Nick hides her face behind her hands and takes a deep breath, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Guys have never been this hard for her to figure out. They typically just want one or two things from her, and alcohol makes that decision easier for both of them. This is something different altogether.]
bekommen: (gimme shelter.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-27 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
Shut up!

[Nick doesn't move to hit him, but instead looks like she's been struck herself. His analysis is too sharp, too close, too right, and Nick feels like the world's just been yanked out from underneath her feet and she's struggling just to breathe.]

Just - shut up. You don't know anything about me.

[It's a lie, and a weak one at that. But he wasn't around for the dreams, was he, and some of those had also been a little too on the nose for Nick's taste, calling up memories of her mother and Nick herself as a child, a version of her who believed that she deserved every bit of the mistreatment she'd suffered at her mother's hands.

Nick claps a hand over her mouth and turns away from him, blinking back hot, angry tears.]
bekommen: (for fear your grace should fall.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-30 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
[How do you convince someone that a better tomorrow exists when they can't see past the horizon to the next sunrise? That has always been one of Nick's problems - she doesn't believe in the promise held in tomorrows and hasn't been able to envision a future for herself in a very long time, and even what she was able to dream up was short-term in nature. She honestly didn't believe she'd live to see her twenty-fifth birthday, and now she's several years past that, with many more stretching out before her.

She relaxes into the hug, just a small amount, but it feels like giving up entirely, and in the moment, Nick is absolutely fine with that. She could give up forever, because she's tired of fighting, tired of being angry and confused, tired of being fucked around with, tired of hurting. Tired of being left behind. She chokes back a sob that rises up in her throat and inhales sharply, eyes pressed tightly shut, and when she speaks again, her voice trembles.]

You don't know. You weren't here. You didn't see it all.
bekommen: (gimme shelter.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-06-30 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
The dreams.

[His voice in her ear sends a shiver down the side of her neck, quickens her heartbeat. It's both pleasant and not, and Nick can't decide if she likes it or not, if she wants more of it or the run screaming.]

It wasn't just like normal weird shit. Some of it was real things that happened.

[Most of Nick's had an element of truth to them - memories of her mother and father, of her Becoming, of murmured hopeful words and plans spoken to a close friend under a starry sky. And some had seemed pleasant at the time, but those were the worst to remember on waking.]
bekommen: (for fear your grace should fall.)

[personal profile] bekommen 2016-07-04 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)

[He's right, of course. She'd dreamt of her father, of singing along to his music on the gravel back roads of Kansas where she grew up, of the pure joy those moments brought her as a child; she'd dreamt of her mother, the awful things she used to tell Nick about herself, with words and with her hands, until Nick herself was helpless to fight off believing her.]

It was fucked up, and people saw your dreams, and you saw theirs. I didn't - I didn't want anyone to know.
Edited 2016-07-04 19:17 (UTC)

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