Kamina the Great! (![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
themightykamina) wrote in ![[community profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hadriel_logs2016-06-03 11:25 am
themightykamina) wrote in hadriel_logs2016-06-03 11:25 am
Entry tags:
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Who: Kamina and you! And you, and you too! And maybe some monsters, who knows.
What: Week in the life of Hadriel's favorite loudmouth revolutionary.
Where: Cave mouths, lakeshore, shops, apartment 1-101, misc?
When: Now through June 11!
Warnings: Just annoyance, high decibels, and maybe some mild violence?
Cave mouths:
[You can probably smell Kamina coming before you see him. He's been in the caves for a while now in an attempt first to keep himself from murdering anyone, then to find his way back out again. He looks like a mess. Hair bedraggled, covered in dust and grime and liberal splashes of what may or may not be his blood, at least he still seems to be in good spirits? Emerging from the cave mouth, he pauses and stretches his arms over his head, yawning hugely and with a groan.]
Never thought I'd be happy to see this place again. Phew!
Lakeshore:
[He's had his fill of the caves for a while. Instead, Kamina's about to start investigating another interesting spot in Hadriel: the lake. So far, though, he's just having a hard time getting over the sight of so much water in one place. Jiiha had plenty of water, it was just in wells. Open water like this? For once, he's happy to just sit on the shore, legs crossed and hand planted on his knee.]
Wonder if there's any fish in there...?
Shops:
[One might notice, walking by the shops, there seems to be an awful lot of clatter coming from one building in particular. A crashing, you might even say. A full-out rumpus. And the source of that rumpus? One bare-chested, blue-haired miscreant, who is apparently more intent on finding whatever it is he's looking for in the cabinets behind the counter than he is putting things back neatly.]
Apartment:
[Kamina knows he's been gone for a while this time. Thankfully, his apartment's still there when he gets back to it, and the door still opens for him. Stepping inside, he drops his pack by the door, looking around.]
Oi! I'm home! Anyone here?
What: Week in the life of Hadriel's favorite loudmouth revolutionary.
Where: Cave mouths, lakeshore, shops, apartment 1-101, misc?
When: Now through June 11!
Warnings: Just annoyance, high decibels, and maybe some mild violence?
Cave mouths:
[You can probably smell Kamina coming before you see him. He's been in the caves for a while now in an attempt first to keep himself from murdering anyone, then to find his way back out again. He looks like a mess. Hair bedraggled, covered in dust and grime and liberal splashes of what may or may not be his blood, at least he still seems to be in good spirits? Emerging from the cave mouth, he pauses and stretches his arms over his head, yawning hugely and with a groan.]
Never thought I'd be happy to see this place again. Phew!
Lakeshore:
[He's had his fill of the caves for a while. Instead, Kamina's about to start investigating another interesting spot in Hadriel: the lake. So far, though, he's just having a hard time getting over the sight of so much water in one place. Jiiha had plenty of water, it was just in wells. Open water like this? For once, he's happy to just sit on the shore, legs crossed and hand planted on his knee.]
Wonder if there's any fish in there...?
Shops:
[One might notice, walking by the shops, there seems to be an awful lot of clatter coming from one building in particular. A crashing, you might even say. A full-out rumpus. And the source of that rumpus? One bare-chested, blue-haired miscreant, who is apparently more intent on finding whatever it is he's looking for in the cabinets behind the counter than he is putting things back neatly.]
Apartment:
[Kamina knows he's been gone for a while this time. Thankfully, his apartment's still there when he gets back to it, and the door still opens for him. Stepping inside, he drops his pack by the door, looking around.]
Oi! I'm home! Anyone here?
shops.
But the noise from inside the shop catches her attention as she's passing by, so she cautiously pokes her head in to find the source of the disturbance. Even from the back, he's impossible not to recognize. Nick's heart drops hard into her stomach, and before she has time to fully process the reality of what's going on, her hand closes around a can of beans set on one of the nearby shelves.
Then she hurls the can at him with as much force as she can muster, scowling fiercely.]
Re: shops.
[This time, unlike last time, her aim's actually pretty damn good. The can lands a solid blow to his right shoulder, and Kamina yelps, bolting upright and whirling around, looking for the source. When he spots her, his look of surprise and anger turns to one of outrage as he rubs his shoulder.]
Nick? What the hell, what gives??
[He doesn't know what the hell he's done. After all, she's the one that was avoiding him, right? Because of whatever? Christ.]
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[Another can is clutched tight in her hand, this time not aimed as truly at him; when she throws it at him, it veers to the side and impacts against the wall.]
"What gives?" What fucking gives?!
[And another can goes sailing through the air, leaving Nick shaking and huffing for breath with the force of her rage.]
Fuck you, Kamina, you were gone!
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I just went on a hunting trip, that's all, damn! They were making us all murder each other, so I went to go kill monsters instead! I didn't think you'd notice, you've been running the other way every time you see me for months!
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[She doesn't reach for any more cans, just curls her fingers into white-knuckled fists at her sides.]
I almost killed someone too, you know? I thought -
[Her voice cracks, threatening to unleash something dark and tumultuous she's been keeping locked inside of her for weeks and weeks. Nick bites down on her trembling bottom lip and shakes her head.]
Fuck this.
[She turns to leave.]
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[No, wait, he doesn't actually have a comeback for that one. He really doesn't check his messages. Honestly, he forgets he has a communicator, a lot of the time, and he'd left it in his satchel with the rest of his supplies when he was out hunting. The reception in the caves is pretty shitty, besides.
But then she's stalking out the door before he has time to process anything. She almost killed someone? Shit. Okay, maybe this isn't the best idea, but he's not a coward. He's gonna let her say what she needs to say, and he's not gonna just let her run away. Stepping forward, he doesn't touch her, but he does follow her.]
Look, Nick--are you okay? Did you get hurt?
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[Which is the biggest lie she's told either of them in at least the last five minutes. She'd almost managed to convince herself that she was over it all - the whole almost-murdering Maketh thing, the way it made her feel like more of an actual literal monster than anything had since her Becoming, that first time she'd transformed into the hideous doll shape. And in an instant, all the fear and anger and self-loathing comes flooding back, washing over her so fast she can barely breathe.]
Leave me alone.
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I don't get you. I really don't.
[He's standing right behind her, frowning. One minute, they're talking about family, the next she won't look him in the eye. One minute she's trying to murder him with a can, the next she's saying she tried to call him? Seriously, his head feels like it's about to explode, here.]
Look, if you really want me to leave you alone, I will. But I didn't mean...I mean, you know you don't have to worry about me. I'm sorry I didn't...I dunno.
[For once, he literally has no idea what to say.]
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I thought you were dead. Again. And then you didn't come back, and I - look, I didn't know what to think, all right? Just forget it.
[He's fine. She can be fine too.]
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[....oh. Oh. Maybe it's a good thing she's not looking at him, because it all clicks, and he realizes that maybe, maybe she's always yelling and throwing shit and being cruel because she's just scared and alone. That like Yoko and Simon yelling at him that sometimes it's okay to run, she just doesn't want him doing something stupid. He doesn't know if they're friends, but...he can't be too mad once it clicks, even with the bruise he can already feel spreading on his shoulder. Reaching out, he puts a hand on her shoulder, still awkward but at least committing to the action.]
I'm always gonna come back. I promise. And maybe you think you can't count on that, but really, who the hell do you think I am? Even gods aren't gonna keep me from keeping my word.
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Jesus, you are so full of shit - do you ever even listen to yourself?
[Her eyes narrow as she pins a stony glare on him.]
People leave. It happens all the fucking time, they die and they don't come back, or they decide you're not worth the fucking effort anymore, and - they just leave, OK?
[She realizes a moment too late that she's said too much, betrayed more than she should have. I thought you decided you were done with me, too. But she refuses to back down. This is how the world actually works; this is something she knows to be true.]
It's what they do. It's what people always do.
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Well, good thing I ain't people then, huh? I'm just me. Just Kamina, resident badass of this hellhole. I've already died once, remember? Not even death can hold me back.
[Cocky? Sure. But he means every damn word.]
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Her expression shifts - not quite soft, but it's not as hard as it was, because there's something else that overtakes the anger, something that looks a lot like pain, even from this close distance.]
Shut up.
[It's said quietly, almost half-hearted.]
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Never.
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Shit.
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You know...I really just don't get you at all. Do you like me or not? Do you hate me or not? Cause one minute, it's one thing, and then the next, it's not. You gotta tell me what you're thinking, what I should do, 'cause I just don't get it.
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[Nick rakes a hand through her hair in agitation.]
Jesus. I hate everybody, and you drive me fucking crazy, always running your mouth all the time about the stupidest bullshit.
[And yet ... she can't stop thinking about him. That entire time he was gone, all she could think about was that stupidly drunken night and the things she'd said and the things she did and the things he didn't do, and she just isn't any good at analyzing her own feelings.]
Just - forget it, OK? I'm an asshole, and I'm fucking stupid besides.
[And this is just embarrassing. Nick hides her face behind her hands and takes a deep breath, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Guys have never been this hard for her to figure out. They typically just want one or two things from her, and alcohol makes that decision easier for both of them. This is something different altogether.]
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[Thanks, glorious flash of insight at the exact wrong moment. He's pretty sure she's gonna hit him for that one, and he actually thinks for a second that he might deserve it.]
Look, you know what I am. You know who I am. Like you said, I never stop pointing it out. I'm always running my mouth. But you ain't like that at all. I don't think you're any of the things you say you are. But you know that, too, don'cha?
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[Nick doesn't move to hit him, but instead looks like she's been struck herself. His analysis is too sharp, too close, too right, and Nick feels like the world's just been yanked out from underneath her feet and she's struggling just to breathe.]
Just - shut up. You don't know anything about me.
[It's a lie, and a weak one at that. But he wasn't around for the dreams, was he, and some of those had also been a little too on the nose for Nick's taste, calling up memories of her mother and Nick herself as a child, a version of her who believed that she deserved every bit of the mistreatment she'd suffered at her mother's hands.
Nick claps a hand over her mouth and turns away from him, blinking back hot, angry tears.]
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I know you aren't any of the shitty things you say about yourself. That's good enough for me.
[He's still not sure what to do for her, but there's a part of him that can recognize frustration when he sees it, and fear, and sadness. She keeps everything inside, because if she shows it, it'd make her look weak. Maybe he gets it better than either of them think.
He's still tempting fate when he reaches out, wrapping his arms loosely around her shoulders and pulling her into a rough sort of hug. He doesn't know how to be comforting. He doesn't know how to really do anything but encourage people with his words, to goad them into action, into better tomorrows. But hadn't he done something like this before for Simon? Just a simple touch, to know that someone else was there. Maybe that'll be enough.]
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She relaxes into the hug, just a small amount, but it feels like giving up entirely, and in the moment, Nick is absolutely fine with that. She could give up forever, because she's tired of fighting, tired of being angry and confused, tired of being fucked around with, tired of hurting. Tired of being left behind. She chokes back a sob that rises up in her throat and inhales sharply, eyes pressed tightly shut, and when she speaks again, her voice trembles.]
You don't know. You weren't here. You didn't see it all.
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[He doesn't say anything for a long moment, just holds her a little bit tighter, muscles in his arms flexing. He wasn't there. She's right about that. He'd left, he'd gone to the caves, because he didn't know what else he could do. He'd gone looking for a fight, he thought, but maybe he hadn't gone looking for the important fight. Maybe he'd left the fight that really mattered behind. It didn't matter, now. He wasn't gonna run anymore. Not to say he wouldn't go back to the caves; he had to do that, had to look for any chance to find a way out, to help. But he'd take people with, and he'd say something. Now that he knew she worried, he'd say something.]
What didn't I see?
[The words are quiet, right by her ear.]
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[His voice in her ear sends a shiver down the side of her neck, quickens her heartbeat. It's both pleasant and not, and Nick can't decide if she likes it or not, if she wants more of it or the run screaming.]
It wasn't just like normal weird shit. Some of it was real things that happened.
[Most of Nick's had an element of truth to them - memories of her mother and father, of her Becoming, of murmured hopeful words and plans spoken to a close friend under a starry sky. And some had seemed pleasant at the time, but those were the worst to remember on waking.]
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Bad things?
[Or maybe, he thinks, faintly distracted by the smell of her, by the faint tickle of hair on his cheek, good things. Maybe those would be worse, in a place like this. He asks, even if he already knows the answer. Both, always both. In a place like this, with these damned gods fighting over them, it's always both.]
Or good things?
[What didn't she want him to see?]
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[He's right, of course. She'd dreamt of her father, of singing along to his music on the gravel back roads of Kansas where she grew up, of the pure joy those moments brought her as a child; she'd dreamt of her mother, the awful things she used to tell Nick about herself, with words and with her hands, until Nick herself was helpless to fight off believing her.]
It was fucked up, and people saw your dreams, and you saw theirs. I didn't - I didn't want anyone to know.
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