hadriel_logs | Event Log: Regret This

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Event Log: Regret This

Who: Everyone!
What: The Regret This event
Where: Throughout the city
When: June 25th-July 3rd
Warnings: Sorrow is resurrected, and everyone is immediately full of regrets

Hope has finally managed another god resurrection, and the people have spoken! On June 25th, he musters his powers and brings Sorrow back to Hadriel. An orchard appears across the river, in the until now ruined part of the city, and Sorrow's temple is also restored. Hooray! One more god to make things a little more livable in this place.

Of course, it's not that easy. It never is. Along with Sorrow himself comes a wave of regret and guilt that blankets the city. All those affected will be inclined to not only be sad, but to linger over past regrets and things they feel guilty about. They can distract themselves with everyday tasks or whatever else they please, but they'll find that their thoughts drift back to these regrets regardless of what they do.

And of course, the best way to purge a guilty conscience is confession, right? On top of these persistent sad thoughts, people will feel the urge to tell others about them, to air their past mistakes or misdeeds and possibly receive some kind of forgiveness. So what if your neighbor doesn't care that you cheated on your final exams all through school? You have to tell someone, and they're right there. If it doesn't make you feel better, that probably means you haven't confessed to enough people yet, or maybe you just haven't found the right person. Better try again!

On July 3rd, Sorrow has settled in and this urge to confess your sins will die down, along with the constant regret. Let's hope you didn't confess anything too personal. Remember, you're gonna have to see some of these people every day.

► This log covers June 25th-July 3rd.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you somehow manage to end up regretfully dead, please remember to hit up our death post!

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[How long has it been since she's seen trees, much less ones that bore fruit?

Lilith can't truly recall, but the span of time's in the range of years rather than months. Hadriel's park had been almost overwhelmingly green after months spent roaming the barren, dusty Pandoran landscape. And so, rather than dwelling on Sorrow's influence nagging insistently at the back of her mind, she'd followed what was obviously the most natural course of action-- running off to the explore the orchard as a means of totally ignoring her problems.

Which is where she is at present. Perched up in a tree, she's curled in the crook of some branches, holding a bag full of triangular blue fruit close. The weather that the gods have manufactured today is pleasant, enough that she can fool herself into thinking the false sunlight's real. Never mind what rattles around in her head. (The lies. The blood on her hands. The friends she's lost, the responsibility she's traded in her freedom for.) It's fine. It's... all right, here, if she can split her heart between joy and anger, rather than giving into any kind of despair.

As soon as she convinces herself that her clever plan's going to work, there's a familiar someone leaning against her tree's trunk.

...Oh, boy.

Lilith hesitates, vacillating between one course of action and another. She lets a few (agonizing) moments pass-- maybe if she just climbed all the way up the free and leapt to the next, Maketh wouldn't notice, she could leave her to be alone like she wants, she wouldn't blurt anything stupid-- but, instead, she opts for a more gradual course of action. She reaches into her bag for the firmest of the triangle fruits, holds an arm out, and carefully drops it so it'll land a few feet to Maketh's right.]

[Something hits the ground. Maketh flinches away from the bark, wiping furiously at her eyes. It's weakness to cry and it's weakness to feel what she does right now - that impulse to go up to someone and tell them things, rip into the center of it and damn the inevitable spray of blood. It's a wound and something in her wants to pick at it.

Awful. Weak. It cannot be allowed.

She doesn't expect to see anyone up in the tree, but she looks up and sees--

Oh.

Maketh wipes at her eyes furiously, dropping her boots. What a mess she's made.] H--hello, Lilith.

Maketh! I didn't see you there. [The note of naive surprise in that rings completely false, until Sorrow takes over.]

N... no, yeah. I did. Sorry. That was a lie. I can pretend I didn't see you if you want.

[She shifts and leans over the edge of the boughs of leaves and fruits.]

I can also... pretend I didn't ask you if you were okay. And pretend I'm not worried.

[Maketh clears her throat.] No, I--come down? Please?

[Lilith slings the bag of fruits over her shoulder. Without another word, she climbs back down to earth; she dangles loosely from a branch, then releases her hold and lands neatly in the grass with a soft thump.

She lets her burden slide off her back, dropping it on the ground beside the fruit she'd tossed earlier. Her expression's expectant-- she's waiting for Maketh to speak first.]

[And now that they're eye to eye, Maketh can't find the right words. She wants to say something. There shouldn't be silence between them.] I just...I was thinking about Newt's garden, and how much he would have liked this. To have a piece of...I don't know. Something. A future.

[Maketh doesn't have names for half of the things here, but they're alive. The soil is warm against her feet. She swallows hard, meeting Lilith's eyes.]

I wanted that for him. And now he's gone and...

[Maketh sighs.] I don't know anymore. What I want feels impossible.

[Lilith's never met Newt, apart from what Maketh's mentioned of him, but her heart goes out to her. She's her friend-- really, truly her friend. If Lilith had her way she'd never feel like this.]

I'm sorry, Maketh.

[She steps forward slowly.]

I wish he could've had that, too, even if I didn't know him. It's tough. We don't know why we're here, or how long we're all here together, or what-- what even happens when we go home...

I know you were a good friend to him while he was here, though. [She smiles faintly.] You gave him that, at least. Hell, you're giving me that.

No. [She says it softly. Sometimes she wakes up crying in the middle of the night, fighting off the dreams where she loses people; Newt, Henry, Emily...

Lilith.

There are so many unknowns. So many ways to hurt and die in this place.

Maketh swallows hard, then reaches out and closes her hand around Lilith's. Part of her still balks at the thought of touching another person, but this is important. It must be said.] You cannot disappear. I--you cannot.

[Lilith blinks back her surprise, but, instinctively, she squeezes Maketh's hand back.]

I'm not going anywhere. Not without you.

[Her grip loosens, and her fingers thread loosely with Maketh's. In the midst of all of this, of everything the gods have thrown at them all... she's not going to leave her alone again.]

I'm-- [She falters, but with her own will and Sorrow's influence, she continues:] I don't want to do that to you. I'm sick of you getting hurt, Maketh.

[The contact solidifies. Maketh exhales slowly, bringing their joined hands up to press against her cheek. This is real. It's not a nightmare about to turn on her like so many things have. She has a chance now, so long as she doesn't ruin it.] When you go home, I--

[Don't falter now, girl.]

Please let me stand at your side.

[Lilith kisses her.

She'd closed the distance before she'd known it, her hand resting against her cheek, her heart pounding. All that time spent worrying, and doubting whether this'd feel right, has gone out the window: her lips are moving slow and soft against Maketh's, and standing under the trees in this moment, everything is... fine. Better than it's ever been, in Hadriel.

She pulls away, and, sheepishly presses her lips together (doing what she can, to memorize the feeling of that kiss) before breaking into a grin.]

That... is a yes, by the way.

[Oh.

For a moment - longer - Maketh's brain stutters on the thought that this is happening and then--

Then.

It's not the first time she's been kissed, but it's the first in a long time.

Maketh quips a smile. It's softer than she remembers.] You are beautiful.

[Her hand hasn't left Maketh's cheek yet. (She'd never stop touching her if she could swing it, really.) Lilith flushes a little, laughs--]

You're beautiful, and you're smart, and you're kind, and I'm.... okay, hang on. [Why isn't she still kissing Maketh? She has to correct this. HAS to. Lilith leans in again, presses a quick peck on Maketh's lips, and backs up again, satisfied.] I'm good.

Why-- [even Sorrow can't break her right now, not even the gods.] --why have we not done this before?

[Maketh closes her eyes, so she can focus more attentively on the warmth of Lilith's hands. The detail of her calluses. Do not waste this thing, she tells herself. This is important.

She finds herself leaning into it when Lilith kisses her again, face burning.

Oh, her face is certainly burning. Somehow she doesn't mind.

How strange. How very strange. They're standing close in the middle of Sorrow's orchard, holding hands and thinking very hard about kissing each other. Maketh, also, has no shoes on. The ground feels warm under her feet.] We're doing it now.

[Indeed, they are doing -- something. Maketh squeezes Lilith's hand tight, bumping their foreheads together.] I...you are important. To me. It should be s--said...

[Except now she's stammering and that will not do. Maketh loops her arm around Lilith's waist, pulling her close. They ought to be touching, so close Maketh imagines she can hear Lilith's heartbeat.

There. Better.]

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Event Log: Regret This

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