hadriel_logs | Event Log: Regret This

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Event Log: Regret This

Who: Everyone!
What: The Regret This event
Where: Throughout the city
When: June 25th-July 3rd
Warnings: Sorrow is resurrected, and everyone is immediately full of regrets

Hope has finally managed another god resurrection, and the people have spoken! On June 25th, he musters his powers and brings Sorrow back to Hadriel. An orchard appears across the river, in the until now ruined part of the city, and Sorrow's temple is also restored. Hooray! One more god to make things a little more livable in this place.

Of course, it's not that easy. It never is. Along with Sorrow himself comes a wave of regret and guilt that blankets the city. All those affected will be inclined to not only be sad, but to linger over past regrets and things they feel guilty about. They can distract themselves with everyday tasks or whatever else they please, but they'll find that their thoughts drift back to these regrets regardless of what they do.

And of course, the best way to purge a guilty conscience is confession, right? On top of these persistent sad thoughts, people will feel the urge to tell others about them, to air their past mistakes or misdeeds and possibly receive some kind of forgiveness. So what if your neighbor doesn't care that you cheated on your final exams all through school? You have to tell someone, and they're right there. If it doesn't make you feel better, that probably means you haven't confessed to enough people yet, or maybe you just haven't found the right person. Better try again!

On July 3rd, Sorrow has settled in and this urge to confess your sins will die down, along with the constant regret. Let's hope you didn't confess anything too personal. Remember, you're gonna have to see some of these people every day.

► This log covers June 25th-July 3rd.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you somehow manage to end up regretfully dead, please remember to hit up our death post!

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[There are always regrets. Especially for someone like him. Killed people. Killed 'em all dead, split their skulls, shivved 'em hard, did it and did it with a smile. He doesn't have it in him to shout and scream and rage at the life he's led.

So he doesn't. He hides, and huddles, and listens to the brain-voice tell him terrible he is, because it's right. He is terrible. He needs to suffer for it. Needs to hurt, hurt, hurt.

He finds a dark little hole to crawl into - or rather, the dark corner of an empty building - but there's a small problem where someone is already occupying it.]

Didn't mean to stomp your smile.

[ Arya wasn't smiling before, but she does now, just a little, at the man's curious phrase. Arya scoots over a little in her corner, pressing herself up closer against the wall. It's comforting, and also gives space for the newcomer. She doesn't want to shoo him away. That could make her feel guiltier, and Arya doesn't think she could take anymore guilt. ]

You're not stomping and I don't have much of a smile. I think you're fine.

[ Arya examines the newcomer. He's rather strange-looking. ]

Who are you?

Edited 2016-06-30 03:24 (UTC)

[She doesn't quail, or retreat, or anything. She even smiles?! He's not scary, fearsome, terrible. Not the awful thing he always thinks he is. He...sidles closer, inch by inch, and then slowly thumps down to sit beside her.

He's smiling beneath his mask, albeit faintly. Maybe that smile reaches his visible eye.

He makes a vague circular gesture with one hand.]

Just a murderer. Full of things and broken, broken little parts.

[ It's not that the man isn't scary or terrible. He is. But right now, Arya feels like a monster in a twelve-year-old's body. She feels a little more comfortable with the fearsome. There's some kinship there.

Besides, their faint smiles almost match. ]

Then I suppose you have come to the right place.

[ Arya curls her knees up and finally breaks eye contact. ]

I'm one too.

[ A murderer with holes for a heart. ]

But you're so little, little!

[Immediately, he knows that assumption is wrong. The girl with the swipey-clawed metal-bot was little too, and she saved his life more times than he could count, hunting quests and killing bandits at rates befitting the title of Vault Hunter.

Don't have to be big to pack a punch. Don't have to try to be a killer.]

Not so bad all the time.

[ Arya shrugs, and curls her knees in a little tighter. She knows she's too young for this. That's what makes it all so bad. In order not to become a murdered child, she had to become a child murderer. Right now, Arya doesn't know which fate is better. ]

I know. I'm trying to grow.

[ Easier to do that than lay down her sword.

The man's next comment takes her by surprise. ]

But you don't know who I am. You can't know that.

[There's a long moment where Krieg struggles to force his brain to string together a long concatenation of words in a way that makes sense.

She's hurting, his little mind-voice scolds. Help her.

Can't just saying nothing, nothing, nothing, mix up violence and nonsense and scrambles his phrases again! No, no, that won't do. He can do something good for someone. Make her happier again. Children shouldn't be sad.]

Cut 'em all up.

[No, sighs the voice, try again.]

Made 'em all hurt.

[Can you say something NICE?]

Cut lotsa little heads, lots, lots, lots! Wrung 'em dry and hung 'em on a pole and they screamed. Can't stop this moving train! Someone pull over!

[He's gripping his skull in his hands again, head bowed.]

But it's all we've got! Gotta do something with the blood, the hurt, hurt hurt! Just - just make sure it hits the right ones! Make sure you gut the killers, and leave the unstained smocks for the sun!

[ At first, Arya isn't sure exactly what the man is trying to say. Is he confessing? Is he trying to comfort her? She stares at him for a moment, this man who cut 'em all up, perhaps because that's all he could do. And if that's the case, then he and Arya are even more alike then she previously figured.

She thinks she understands, now. Arya reaches over gingerly and pats the man's knee. The least she can do is try to comfort him, too. ]

I'm not -- I'm not really certain what a train is, but yes. You have to get the right ones.

Toot-toot!?

[He makes the appropriate gesture with one hand, but there's no explaining what a train is to someone who's never seen one, much less through the words of someone who has trouble verbalizing even the simplest of thoughts.]

Pieces thrown down, we pick 'em all up! Gut the ones who filled 'em with holes, and they're ASKIN' FOR IT!

[ That's surprisingly endearing. Arya mimics the gesture. ]

Toot...toot?

[ She chuckles a little. ]

Yes. [ She agrees. Or thinks she's agreeing, anyway. It's hard to tell with this one. ]

I've got a list and everything.

List??

[He looks at her in mingled dismay and alarm, and then stares at the ground. She has a list. A list! He lost count years, years...years ago? Years ago.]

How d'you keep track of 'em?!

I hate them so much.

[ Arya says, honestly but quietly. ]

Say their names as a prayer and a promise. They're the people I wish to kill. Will kill.

[Krieg grunts out a low sound of confusion and puzzlement, dragging it out for several seconds as he considers. To hate things that much...even he only had one big name on the list, and that was - him. Needed no introductions or names. Just knowing what he was, that he would die for making everyone pay, everyone suffer, that was enough.]

Lots? Lots and lots?

[He starts counting on his fingers, then gives up and shrugs his massive shoulders.]

Only had a one!

Perhaps not lots and lots. About ten.

[ It's been more and less. Depends on who's dead, who's been killed. Who's grieving, and who needs to pay.

Krieg's list is short, though, and Arya is almost jealous. ]

Who is on yours?

Mrrrm. Bad man. Bad, bad, masked and handsome!

[Ugly, really, he affirms to himself. Face burned and blackened underneath. But he calls himself Handsome, so there's nothing to be done about it.

Krieg grunts a few times, wringing his grip on his buzz-axe.]

Go to helllllll, go to HELL!! RIP HIM APART!

[ Masked and handsome? Arya knows a few people like that. She doesn't want to kill the priests of the Many-Faced God, but she has no love for them, either.

Arya picks up a stick and snaps it in half. ]

Yeah!!

[ She's not as loud as Krieg, but she'll support him in his vengeance. That, she's good at. ]

YEAH!

[He likes this kid!! She gets him, and even if they're both feeling down and sad and unfortunate, there's still hope for them yet, right? Right!

He looks at her with an approving air.]

Grinding the bones - doesn't make you bad! Good, good jellybean!

[ Arya didn't exactly seek Krieg's approval, but it feels nice to have. Even if she's not sure if she understands everything he's saying, and vice versa. They agree on the important parts, and that's what matters. ]

Don't forget you're good too. A good....[ if Arya is a jellybean (whatever that is) what is Krieg? ]

A good pizza.

[ Which Arya pronounces like pee-sah. Z's are a struggle, but pizzas are nice and strange, just like Krieg. ]

Pee-sah?

[He repeats the word cautiously, his single eye glowering at the empty space ahead of him as he struggles to puzzle that one out. Pee...sah...Peas? No, no! He remembers! Skag urine, and cheese, and a pretty lady with a nice hat!!!]

PIZZA!!

[He says it with the air of someone who's just solved a particularly difficult math problem, and with exactly the same measure of expectation for praise.]

Yes, pee-sah!

[ Arya claps her hands and grins. She likes these names. She's not actually a jellybean and he's no pizza, but they can be those things for each other. It feels nice, not to have to be Arya Stark just now. There's less pressure. ]

That's you. Good and strange.

[He's good! He's strange too, but he already knew that! And good is the most important part!]

You too!!!

[There's parts of her that remind him of the sad-happy child in Tundra Express, who giggled and burned things and knew how to light the fires so eloquently, but her eyes were shadowed with haunted memories and she struggled blindly with death and didn't know how to accept the things that happened.

He helped her, little bit? Little bit. Maybe he can help this one too.

Krieg's gaze softens somewhat.]

Don't have to be good-good-good all the time. Just - just beeeeee.

[ Arya doesn't usually think of herself as strange, but she supposes she is. That's not a bad thing, though. It means that she and Krieg have something in common besides murder. It's like they're part of the same pack.

She nods, accepting his advice even if she doesn't quite know how to carry it out. ]

I'll try. [ she gives him a little nudge. ] And you too. You don't have to shout all the time, if you don't want.

[NO NEED TO SHOUT! bellows a distant memory, echoing off the contours of his brain. No need to shout all the time? Sometimes it feels like that's all he has, screaming at a world that's all in all indifferent.

For the first time, Krieg feels...almost like he can listen. He looks at her in surprise. When did that happen?]

...we can be quieter?

[ If asked by anyone else, that question would be a stupid one. But there's a token of genuine wondering in Krieg's voice, as if being quieter was never something that occurred to him, like it was never possible before. Being forced to be loud is just as bad as being forced to be soft -- it's the lack of freedom that's a problem, not the level of volume. Arya nods. ]

We can be whatever we want here. We're not home anymore.

Mrrm. Yeah. Yeah! Fate is ours!

[He's grinning beneath his mask again. Gives him a kind of pulse of energy, flying in defiance of all that regret and misery.]

We're US! No one else!

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whichend - 2016-08-11 11:53 (UTC) - Expand

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