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ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴅʀɪᴇʟ ([personal profile] hadrielmods) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2017-04-10 10:12 am

Intro Log: Well, that was fun

Who: New arrivals and everyone else!
What: The intro log for April as well as the city reunification log!
Where: The colosseum and all around the city.
When: April 10th-15th
Warnings: Nothing at the moment! No monsters, and everyone is together again!


New arrivals are in for a treat this month with... actually, no impending monster attacks, for once! You guys are luckier than most who came before you, as the remaining monsters that had previously been terrorizing the city have been banished back into the caves and nothing new is coming out of the Door to take their place.

Still, the past few weeks haven't been easy on poor Hadriel, and the right half of the city is littered with monster corpses and rubble, extinguished flares and damaged barricades left by the citizens trapped there with all of the monsters in the caves. The left half has fared a little better, though the explosives have done a bit of a number on the outer areas of the city, but anyone looking for housing might want to start over there first.

To get there though, you'd have to get past the random assortment of candy dispensers, haphazardly scattered around the colosseum floor. At least... let's hope that they're candy.

Once you emerge into the city proper, you might find a few folks trying to get their bearings now that the city is reunited. Everyone is just trying to get back home and find their friends after a hellish few days, so what better time to meet someone new and try to clean up some of the city streets?

Now that you're out and wandering around monster-free, there's plenty of other distractions. Feel free to go explore the rest of the city! Find a house, a new monster, a project to help with, or simply scavenge for supplies. Good luck, and enjoy your stay in Hadriel!

► This log covers April 10th-15th.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► All characters arrive with phones that have network communication and the newbie guide installed.
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
circumitus: Completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass. Weird dude, never saw him again ever since. (got into a bar fight last night)

House 1401 | CLOSED to Nick Valentine

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-10 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
The door to the house once devoid of its occupants swings open for the first time in over a week. For the most part, this home has survived the brunt of the wreckage from the city splitting into two. Asides from a few cracks in the walls here and there, it remains relatively livable still.

After checking on the sorely neglected goldfish, Rey stumbles down the stairs, nearly tripping on the last step. She catches herself at the last second, her bearing weak and weary. Several scratches and bruises mark her body; more hidden under the tattered, worn, lightly singed clothes she wears.

Fighting her way through the tunnels, trying to survive so she could make it back to this place and the one she shares it with -- it was the only thing she had on her mind. Her one goal. Forget about all the shit. Everything that made her blood boil and her ire spill over the brim, it no longer mattered. If they lived, she figured she'd deal with it when it's over.

Rey practically dreads the fact that it's over.

Now the reality after the 'mission' sinks in again, and she knew from the start that she was going to have to deal with that eventually.

Does it have to be now?

The phone in her hand drops before she can lift it from her pocket, clattering to the floor instead. She lets out a heavy exhale, before collapsing face-first over the couch in the living area. Head buried into a pillow, she groans and remains flopped there, listless and unmoving.

Reality fucking sucks. The fact that the mess she started before the split had been over something so mundane and stupid carries a shame sinking into the pit of her stomach. An anger that makes her want to grab the edges of the pillow and scream into it. But she's too tired.

She's so tired. She'll just lay here for a while. Deal with the shit world once she wakes.

Yes, that sounds like a solid plan...
synthedick: (♣ not going well)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-17 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
The city is back together, but the remains of the chaos both sides endured still linger: buildings are damaged, monster corpses litter the alleyways, and while the barricades that had been built are still staning, they're just barely. Both sides suffered without the other.

That goes for not just the infrastructure, but the people within the city, as well: the acquaintances, the enemies, the friendships, the families. Each of those connections played a part in their collective survival, in what kept each individual moving despite the chaos around them. Nick would know.

And when the halves of the city reunite and the stone wall that separated them is gone, family, rather than his duty to the Guard or the safety of anyone else, is the first thing on Nick's mind. It never left him; it kept him motivated, determined to stay alive.

Nick steps across the threshold to the house he shares with Rey, looking a little worse for wear himself: some new tears in his coat, dings on his synthetic body, but it could have been worse. He could have not come home. Hell, if the gods hadn't managed to put the city back in one piece, he might not have had a home to come back to. He's glad to find it in one piece, and in relatively good condition, all things considered. The door creaks slightly as he pushes it open, and before he worries about that new crack in the ceiling, the broken window, or even the pet fish, he looks for his roommate.

No, his family. She's more than that. She's been more for a long time, which he reminds himself as he spots Rey on the couch. Though he knows she can't be too mad for his intervention with Rosie, given she tried to contact him when half the city was located literally worlds away, he still steels himself, his metal hand curling. She can yell at him for an hour if she wants -- it beats not having her there at all.

He takes another step in, then another as he makes his way toward the couch, noting her bruises and hoping there aren't more injuries hiding elsewhere. "Rey?"
circumitus: She literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. (tomorrow never knows)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-18 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
Her head is spinning when she jolts awake--

Awake? Was Rey even asleep? She can't remember. Doesn't want to remember anything. It's too hard. Makes her skull ache. Why couldn't it all have just been a dream, anyway?

It's hard to forget, however, when she hears that familiar voice approaching from the doorway. Stirring over the couch, her eyes slowly pry open and roll upwards to meet the glowing yellows she knows well. Her nose, which was bleeding before, has stopped, but a smear across her face remains. She doesn't notice. All that comes to mind are the many things she wants to say to Nick, but just can't figure out how.

She's never had such a way with words. Not like he has.

"Nick," she mutters, drawing a hand down the side of her face. "I... I'm fine. It's not as bad as it looks."

Better get that out of the way before he asks, though she doubts it'll make much of a difference.
synthedick: (♣ vision of the future)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-18 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Even as she insists she's fine, Nick looks Rey over, kneeling beside the couch so he can get on eye-level with her. Of course he was going to ask how she is -- there's no ignoring the smear across her face, nor the dried blood, nor the multitude of bruises and cuts that cover her skin, new scars in the making to match those on her face.

But she's alive. She's alive, and real, and that's more than he can say for some of the phantoms he thinks about on a daily basis, people he once cared for who were long gone. He lost them hundreds of years ago; hell, they'd never really been his to lose in the first place, given he's just a copy.

But Rey is different. Rey is his family -- not the real Nick Valentine's, not the Institute's, but something he forged on his own... and in that moment, he's just grateful that she is indeed alive and there with him again. She wasn't lost in some other world because the gods failed to fix their mess, wasn't dead because they didn't have the power or gumption to bring her back. She's there; she's home.

And he's so grateful to have her back that he can't help himself: Nick leans forward and brings his arms around her, his embrace sudden, but gentle so as not to agitate her injuries. This could have waited for a better time, but given where they are and what they've been through, he wasn't sure if he'd get another chance. It's never guaranteed.
circumitus: (it takes a train to cry)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-18 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
What was she expecting? Maybe for Nick to do his Nick thing. Tell her that she's not fine, to express his sincere disapproval for her numerous accounts of reckless behavior, as she is oft to do.

For some reason, he doesn't expect what he actually does, and almost has to take a moment to register the fact that his arms are around her in that gesture. Rey finds herself still, but only for a solitary moment, before dipping her face into the fabric over his shoulder. She doesn't care how worn he is or what he looks like. Though she can't say she's never been adverse to getting this close to him -- to anyone -- things have changed.

Things have changed... Because, when faced with the prospect of death, and meeting a definite end from where there was likely no coming back this time, she couldn't accept that outcome.

"Sorry," Rey just says, muttering into Nick's coat. Unable to will herself to composure, to not shudder and shake as she releases a heavy breath.

He apologized to her back then. He did, when he had no reason. She was the mess; she fucked up. Not him. Did he spend all this time thinking otherwise...? That sounds like him. It does, and she hates it.
synthedick: (♠ better living underground)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-18 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Nick listens to Rey breathe against him, feels her trembling as he tightens his arms, one hand resting at her back, the other on her neck as he leans into her. The moment the city had split and he'd realized there was no way back to her -- even before he found out they were literally worlds apart -- had been one that nearly shattered him. He knows how tough she is, but she was vulnerable at the time. Though grateful he had the foresight to leave Firo watching over her, it was Nick himself who'd put her to sleep in the first place; he was the reason she could be in danger, that something might happen to her.

Just like before. Just like with her.

He rests his head against hers, his expression twisting with his gut -- an impossibility given he's not human enough for that, nor to cry, nor for the unsteady breath he takes himself. He'd thought he'd lost her before, but not like this. He couldn't lose her like this.

"Me too," he replies, his own voice hushed. "I'm just... I'm glad to have you back."

And to have her home. Hadriel may be hell sometimes, and maybe he's come to take Hopes revivals for granted, but it's the home he has now, one he chose for himself. It wouldn't be the same without his family, without a reason to keep living.
circumitus: She literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. (tomorrow never knows)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-18 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
This is as much home as it ever could be, for what that is worth. It isn't like Rey's ever had much of a clear cut concept of home before. Not like she does now, anyway. This whole place could have come crumbling down, and the idea of such a place would still exist. It's not much different from the concept of family, really.

It isn't much different at all, is it?

Jaw clenching, her teeth bite down as Nick returns her apology in his own way. Even if Rey gets what he's also sorry for, it's still hard to take. Impossible, even.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she tries to assure him, her throat hitching and the lump rolling down into the pit of her stomach. "When I found out that Hope wouldn't be able to help anyone out on the other side, if we couldn't get away and anything happened to..."

The end of that thought process probably goes without saying, as no doubt it is one they've both shared.

Her vision shakes, blurs, and then darkens as she squeezes her eyes shut. "I'm, ah... I'm... glad, too."
synthedick: (♠ the price of memory)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-20 08:29 am (UTC)(link)
She doesn't need to finish that sentence; he can't say it didn't cross his mind once or twice what would happen if he got destroyed while the city was split up. Hell, he doesn't know if Hope can put him back together at all, given he's not human, but finding out when the last exchange he'd had with Rey was an argument was not something Nick wanted to do. It had pushed him to play it safe where he could -- to stay alive at all costs.

"I kept thinking about what I could have done differently," he admits, still grateful to have her back, glad he can even tell her these things. "That the last thing I'd done was pissed you off and left you asleep. No real defense but Firo."

Or at least he assumes Firo was still there when she woke up. He and Firo might never fully get along, but they agree wholeheartedly on one thing: Rey is family, and you keep your family safe.
circumitus: I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month. (i need an office)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-20 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Forcing a wry smile, Rey woefully pries herself away from Nick, so she can look him in the eye without feeling like a goaded child. Not that she'd ever been a child to know what that feels like, but she doesn't have to be. "Firo was still there when I woke up. Even suggested that we try looking for you."

More for Rey than out of concern for Nick, no doubt. But still, the fact that he offered at all is something Nick should probably hear.

The smile then fades. She can understand where Nick is coming from.

"Like I said, you didn't do anything wrong. I was going to be pissed off either way," she insists, her eyes tearing away. The corner of her mouth twitches. "You should know why."

Telling Bianca was easier -- she had only to show her through their minds, and that was hard enough. Not just reliving the experience as she often does, but exposing that to someone she knows. Someone she cares about.

Maybe it would be easier this time. Maybe...
synthedick: (♣ restoring order)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-21 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
Frankly, Nick is surprised (and privately amused) Firo made such a suggestion; however, he suspects the same as Rey, and that it was likely an attempt to settle any concerns she had about his whereabouts rather than out of any kind of compassion for Nick himself. She's tough as nails, but she worries -- that's something everyone in this family she's cobbled together knows, and knows well. If he were a betting man, Nick would absolutely put money on Rey having walked along the wall on her side of the city during the split, trying to find a way across to those left behind, same as he had. Bianca had been in the eastern half of town, too.

At least he and Bianca can agree on one thing: Rey's life means something whether she wants to admit it or not.

He'd smile in response, but there are no smiles as she continues. He watches her expression falter, her lips twitch. Nick doesn't always have answers to give, but he offers her quiet understanding as he takes her hand and gives her a reassuring look. He forgets sometimes how much goes unsaid between them, how much there is to her that he doesn't really know -- and how much to him that he has yet to tell her. They're family, but there will always be some walls, some secrets better left buried, especially when she has several lifetimes' worth of them.

But if she's willing to unearth the reasons she acted the way she did, why she flipped her lid over Rosie's blatant disregard for personal boundaries, then he's willing to help in any way he can. They could both stand to do some explaining.

"You know I'm all ears," he replies evenly.
circumitus: Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid. (you don't want any of i have)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-21 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a mistake, she wants to believe. That no good would come of the truth, that it would somehow end up doing more harm than aid. God knows it's harmed her enough. But Bianca had shifted to be even more forbearing than she already was once she understood, and after everything Rey had put Nick through...

He deserves a reason. No matter how much she feels like she's becoming smaller, shrinking and curling up within herself. Instead, she steels her nerves by turning the hand Nick's taken to curl her fingers around his, following a reassuring squeeze that's just as much for herself that it is for him.

"I was born underground, alongside a brother. Subject FREY." She hesitates, swallowing hard. "During our first demonstration, I killed him. Then they killed me. When I woke up, I was being evaluated. The man and woman who created me, whose cells were used to make me and my dead brother, fought to keep the director from terminating me. My mother, who was specializing in a new field of psychology for artificial intelligences and synthetics, tried to help me. Keep me alive, not used as some walking warhead. She'd tell me as such."

Her jaw clenches, eyes narrow. One hand balls into a fist while the other tightens around Nick's fingers. It should go without saying just why the death of such a woman had hit Rey hard, even without having already told Nick her mother's fate. There's just so much more.

"The director thought she was too close to her subject, so he called in a third party without telling her. A researcher named Jonathan. He was... He was sick, but not in the way that you could tell just by looking at him. He quickly became infatuated with the project. With me." Her voice cracks. She wants to stop, leave the rest to the imagination, if not for the fact that she's already come this far. "He stood outside my cell often. Told me things. Made promises. Said he..."

She swallows hard, shaking her head. "I-I'm, um... sorry. If you don't want to hear any of this, just... just say so."

While she almost dreads the fact that he does, she's also prepared for what will happen if he encourages​ her to continue. Her eyes raise to Nick's, anxious about what he has to say, what he will say, and what he won't say at all once she finishes.
synthedick: (♣ human error)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-28 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Nick returns the squeeze of her hand, listening as she explains some things he knows, some things he suspected... and hints at some things he'd rather not be true. His hand tightens around hers as his brow knits with concern, with subdued ire over events that were not his fault and that he has no power to change.

But he knows as well as anyone that there's nothing to be done about the past. He can only be there to support Rey now, as this affects her even to this day. He shakes his head; he needs to hear this... and maybe, in some way, Rey needs to get it out.

"Don't be sorry," he murmurs, his golden eyes trained on her. "You go on only if you want to. And if you'd rather not... well, I'm still here."

And he's not going anywhere. That's a promise.
circumitus: (it takes a train to cry)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-29 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
The acquiescence is all too tempting, one that is all too tempting for Rey to accept. She believes him on that last part, though -- that he'll still be there, regardless of her choice in the end.

And that's why she has to continue.

It takes several seconds, before her gut wrenches and urges her to speak up: "It was... a year, I think. Hard to tell from that cell I was in. Didn't really talk to anyone but my mother. People came, watched me... observed me."

Biting her lower lip, she tears her eyes from Nick. The things she had experienced in her original life echoed all too well from what she had seen in Nick's dream, with his supposed brother, or the machine that saw them as kin. It could have explained her instinctive desire to help them escape, seeing something of herself in the synthetic, even if it was just a dream and she knew it at the time. Because that's what it's always been about between them, hasn't it? A connection that she doesn't share with anyone else.

In this, however, she couldn't be more of an island.

"Ultimately, the project got cut, and I was to be terminated. My father authorized it, but I wonder sometimes if Jonathan had something to do with it... Everything fell into place so easily for him. It was too convenient." Her hand slips from Nick's, grabbing her forehead. Voice rattling now, she recommences. "Can't remember how it happened... when it happened, but he... programmed some sort of 'kill code' in me. Something that would temporarily sever my pacification protocol -- or whatever you'd want to call it -- and also leave me... incapacitated."

She falls silent, fingers sliding down over her eyes as if she could rub the memory right out of them. But she can't. She sees them all the time, tattooed under her lids. And she can't escape it.

"I always liked opera," Rey adds suddenly, dropping both hands into her lap. Twining them together, fighting the urge to pick at the tips of her nails. A shaky, joyless laugh escapes her breath. "Don't ask me why. My mother got me into it. Maybe I liked it because she did. Maybe Jonathan also knew, when my mother would play music to calm me..."

Jaw locked, she finally lifts her eyes to meet Nick's again. "That's where he linked the trigger to the kill code. In the music. A song. A song that he knew my mother would play. It was supposed to be our final night together, before I'd be killed."

Her head hangs, falling into her palms. Unable to look at one of the closest things she has to family in this damned place, knowing what she had done to her own. How she had returned the kindness that had been extended to her.

"Instead, I... I killed her," she hisses through clenched teeth. A noise that sounds like a hiccup causes her body to jolt, as she chokes back the tears. "She was so good to me, and I fucking broke her."

Don't cry, don't cry. You're not allowed to cry.

Monsters don't fucking get to cry.
synthedick: (♠ the price of memory)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-04-29 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
Their synthetic natures have always been a bond that tied Nick and Rey together, even before they became family. There's no one quite like him in Hadriel, and no one quite like her, either.

And yet, they are so different, from their personalities to the very reasons they were made at all. He was an experiment, a prototype that was likely never meant to be anything more, if that 'dream' had any truth to it. She was a tool, something to be used.

And she had been used. She'd been used so many times. That was why Nick couldn't let her be used again, whether by Rosie for Love, for Rage, or for any of the other gods. The girl made it clear on the network that she was working with them, trying to help them in whatever way she could. Maybe it was a ploy, or maybe she was trying to get on their good side for the better of everyone -- Nick wants to be optimistic, but he's not blind to the fact that she was willing to do whatever she felt like to accomplish that task.

Even if it meant hurting others -- if it meant hurting his family. She's been used too much already. He brings his hand to her back, settling it between her shoulder blades as he leans forward, trying to meet her eyes. "Rey, what happened isn't your fault."

She should know that, but knowing how she sees herself, Nick figures it bears repeating.
circumitus: (it takes a train to cry)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-04-29 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
When she senses Nick's hand on her back, she flinches, the comfort coming to her like a punch to the stomach. It's barely noticeable when her whole body is shaking.

"I know," Rey hears herself surprisingly admit. "I know it isn't my fault. But that doesn't make it feel any better, does it? I'd been able to fight it before -- not that I knew that back then. Still, I could have. I should have..."

The worst part is knowing that it's not much different from the power the gods have over them. That Rage or Confusion or any of their ilk can make them turn against each other, as they have before in the past. Most of the time, Rey had been able to resist, maybe because of her past experience. It should help her. Make her stronger.

Doesn't change how weak she was then, back when being strong really would have mattered. Sure, she would have probably been dead, but then the woman who created her would have lived. Maybe she could have made someone better.

Rey doesn't dare voice those feelings aloud.
synthedick: (♣ the sight)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-05-06 08:15 am (UTC)(link)
"You can't blame yourself for that."

Strong words coming from a man who blames himself for the death of a woman he never truly new. Nick isn't blind to the irony. His reply was immediate, firm; his continuation is equally so.

"And if she cared about you, loved you like you say... she wouldn't want you to. As someone who cares a hell of a lot about you, I think I'd know."

He can see just why it is Rey has such strife with love, though -- with the concept of it, with how she feels about others, and with what it can do to her. That's one reason Nick never voted for the god who bears love as their name: it can bring just as much fear and pain as it can warmth and belonging. But deep down, love is worth it -- the love he feels for her is worth it. He has to believe that, as it's that kind of compassion that makes them human, despite all the metal and synthetic parts that comprise them. They might have been made for different reasons, but it's what they feel for one another that brings them together as family.

And while that kind of feeling is dangerous in a town of gods who feed upon such things, he wouldn't take it back. He'd rip that hunk of machinery that constitutes as his heart right out of his chest before doing that.
Edited 2017-05-06 08:16 (UTC)
circumitus: I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month. (i need an office)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-05-07 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
Whether it's irony or hypocrisy, Rey doesn't say. This isn't about turning this whole thing on Nick and she knows that, for as much as she'd like to rewind and never have had this conversation...

Or go even further back than that, and undo what she had done to Rose so that there would be no need for this talk at all. It's been gnawing at her inside for a long time, though. Even more so with the looming threat of Love's revival drawing near. It was easier to twist that shame and fear into anger. Mask it under layers of curses and insults, and later violence. She wanted something to hurt. Something to bleed.

What would Undine think? Rey wonders from time to time, when her thoughts go back to the woman who brought this synthetic soul life. Who counselled her not as a researcher, but as someone who had gotten too close to their subject -- as family.

It's that caring that wrecks her all over again. People get hurt when they care. They die.

"Would you say that as I was breaking your neck? Burning you inside? Killing you? Tell me that 'it's okay'?" Rey's voice wavers as she wipes a hand over her eye. "Sh-she did. Think that was the... the last thing I ever heard her say. 'It's okay.'"

Except that it wasn't okay. It rarely ever is, and sure as hell is not now. Rey hangs her head, squeezing her lids through her clouded vision.

"I would've given anything just for us to trade places. For it to be me instead of her. But I think she knew. I think... She had to have known. That she was risking her life to do what she was doing. She..."

Nice as it is to think that her mother would have cared enough to have laid her life down for someone she loved, the idea of it makes Rey want to throw up.
synthedick: (♣ human error)

[personal profile] synthedick 2017-05-10 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
Nick can't say he doesn't know she's describing. He's thought more than a handful of times over the decades that if he could somehow go back to the Winter investigation, to a time before the world went to Hell in a radioactive handbasket, he'd do things differently, even trade places with Jenny if it were possible -- he'd do whatever it takes to keep her alive, even if it means he might not be. He's not even the real Nick, and he'd do it in a heartbeat without a second thought.

Love does that to you.

Things are different now; he's got someone else he loves, someone else he'd do absolutely anything for. He puts a hand on Rey's shoulder, his eyes searching for hers.

"Some people are worth risking everything for," he returns with conviction. To him, that is an undeniable truth, and nothing can convince him otherwise.
circumitus: (it takes a train to cry)

[personal profile] circumitus 2017-05-11 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
The pressure of Nick's hand over her shoulder makes her flinch, only in the slightest way as her head hangs, shaking it. She wants to believe him, but...

"But it didn't work," Rey says, barely above a whisper. "She died, and I was... taken. Can't remember how much time it'd been... Months, a year? Was hard to tell. Most of the time I couldn't move. No control. It... it's something I never want to go through again, not being able to control myself."

A sharp sound that might have been a laugh comes out through her breath. Here she is referring to that version of herself not as someone else, but as Rey. The original, the one who made her who and what she is now because, without her, the woman known as 'Rey' wouldn't have existed at all.

For better or for worse.

She runs a hand down her face, forcing her eyes to pry open and meet Nick's. "He never... did anything. Like that." She barks another joyless laugh, which sounds more like a hoarse cough than anything else. "That would have at least been normal, you know? I was... just a thing. A... a doll..."

A doll. That's about as close as she can get to that experience. Broken, tattered, torn, lifeless, without a voice. Limbs manipulated by the will of another, but only when it suited their whims. No say in anything. Helpless.

That isn't love. Bianca might have been right about that -- but it had been love that got her there. Undine's love that made her take such risks that made such a thing possible. And, sometimes, Rey hates that woman for it; for loving her at all.