imhisaunt: (pic#11812155)
Delmar ([personal profile] imhisaunt) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2017-10-23 07:25 pm

Papa I Don't Need a Preacher I Ain't Some Kind of Creature...

Who: Delmar, Atem, Harlan Halliday, Michael Munroe [Closed]
What: Delmar's Love Dream
Where: Um...Delmar's Mind Palace...?
When: Oct. 23
Warnings: N/A. Will change if needed.

[You’ll find yourself sitting on a couch in a cozy, well-appointed sitting room, with an armchair to your right-hand side, a coffee table in front of you, and a television just behind it. The tv is conspicuously of a very old make for anyone who hails from a time after the 1960s.

There’s a remote, the dream has placed it in your hand. And as there seems to be no one else around at the moment, you might as well give it a go, right? You’ll find there are 5 channels, all of them in black and white.

Channel 1:

On the first channel you’ll see a teenage boy, maybe 15 or so, with dark hair and eyes dressed in a modest sweater vest, trousers, and a newsboy hat that he drops to the floor near to his knees. He’s trying to reach something tucked away under a mattress. Though you don’t know him you seem to know that the boy will get in trouble if his parents find the thing he’s hidden away. What he finally produces are newspaper clippings and as he lays them across the bed it can be seen that they are pictures of Rudolph Valentino in The Sheik and Douglas Fairbanks in the Mask of Zorro and Show People. The boy seems to just want to look at them. Holding one up, then another, teeth sinking into the flesh of his lower lip as he seems enchanted by them.

Then suddenly there are footsteps from the outside hall. The young man goes ridged and hastily scrambles together his picture collection, hurriedly shoving them back under the mattress.

At this point the channel will fade to static.

Channel 2:

Channel Two starts with a lot of commotion. The rustle of skirts and the clinking of glasses. It’s a dance hall and big band music fills the room as young people in their 20s swirl about one another in a feverish ecstatic frenzy. After a moment, that same young man from the previous channel, now older, appears. He’s well-dressed in a suit and tie, his long dark hair slicked back as per an old-fashioned style. For all intents and purposes he is a handsome man with pretty features and he gets no shortage of looks. A young woman giddily clings to his arm despite the fact that all the while he looks tense and uncomfortable, like he can’t even remember how to breathe. She drags him to the dance floor and he does his best, but at all times seems hyper aware of himself. Afraid. His movements tense and electric like a shy horse. This is particularly so when the young woman grabs the lapels of his jacket and pulls him forward into a kiss. His eyes go impossibly wide and his shoulders shoot upwards beneath his suit so quickly one might think the fabric would tear. But then he becomes aware of all the eyes on them. Young men and women looking at them expectantly. Hands trembling slightly he swallows hard, then pulls her in again for an emotionless kiss, though he’s trying his best to make it seem natural. Luckily for him the young woman and their temporary audience seem appeased, so much so they don’t even notice that man looks faint. In a quiet voice, one touched with a noticeable and most likely familiar Brooklyn-accent, the man asks his date if perhaps she’d like a drink. Anything for a chance to escape the crowd. When she agrees, still oblivious to his discomfort, he seems a little relieved. He follows the frill of her skirts to the bar and gets her whatever she asks. But for the rest of the scene his eyes follow the movements of the young men behind the bar, all young like himself and all too busy fussing over the pretty ladies flirting with them to notice the man watching them wistfully.

Once again, the scene fades away to static.

Channel 3:

The scene on channel three greets you with the same sitting room you currently find yourself in, and it seems as though, from the scene’s perspective, they are watching you, though entirely unaware that anyone is watching them back. There’s a familiar face now, Delmar as you know him, dressed in a plain t-shirt and trousers sitting in the armchair and waving at someone off-screen. A younger man, about 40, in a winter coat appears onscreen and takes a seat on the couch, pretty much where you are sitting on your side of the screen. The audio for this scene is muted. You can tell they are speaking to each other, Delmar and this younger man, but what it’s about is withheld. After a moment Delmar gets up from his chair and moves to sit next to him on the couch. It’s clear he wants to sit as close as possible, now and again leaning into him just slightly to murmur something. For the most part the younger man seems to be disinterested in what he has to say, instead focusing whatever is playing in front of them, i.e. the screen that separates you from them, Delmar’s eyes are on him, watching him adoringly.

-static-

Channel 4:

There’s music and dancing again, but this time it’s just another sitting room, one in a different house. Three people are up and dancing to music being played off an old record player. The younger man from the previous channel who is dancing with a woman about the same age, and near them is a younger girl watching the pair of them dance together while doing her own shuffling and swinging movements. They are all grinning and laughing, so much so that maybe you won’t notice right away, or at all, that behind them, having tucked himself in the far corner, Delmar watches red-eyed with tears rolling down his cheeks, wholly forgotten.

-static-

Channel 5:

Channel five seems to be broken. Or the reception is poor. There’s a scene playing, but large zig zagging patterns in the pixels obscure most of it. There are police officers and what looks like a lot of scuffling. Audio blips in and out, Delmar’s voice calling ‘I’m here too, James!’ discernible among the static, until it can be seen more clearly that the young man from the last two channels is being lead out of a room by policemen. Delmar, noticeably frayed from worry, starts to try and help, but the man in custody turns to him and shouts in his face “YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A LOUSY QUEER!”

At which point the screen devolves to static and white noise before the tv stops working altogether. It then that a hand from behind you will grab the remote out of your hand.

Delmar.

He’s standing behind you and maybe you can see his face in the reflection on the now black television screen or maybe you turn to look at him directly. Whichever it is, you are greeted with an expression torn between horror, heartbreak, and betrayal, his complexion a pallid gray resembling that of someone ill in hospital.

He says nothing.

What could he even begin to say now that you've seen what you've seen?]
puzzlingly: (☥ 15.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
There surely is something terribly wrong and yet, funny, that Atem is completely overdressed for this occasion, but there he is, sitting on this comfortable couch while rocking his Pharaoh clothes, wearing all that gold while he surfs through the channels like if it was Saturday morning. The image is absurd, and he doesn't care at all.

The images in the television seem so private, so intimate that at some moment, Atem wishes to turn it off and leave. When he recognizes his... friend (are they still friends at all?), he even tries harder, but there is something in the way that Delmar looks at that younger man that forces Atem to keep watching.

And suddenly, the remote is taken away from him in a rather rude way!

Given the nature of the images he saw, there is no need to wonder who is behind him. Still, the young Pharaoh looks up at him, surprise in those eyes, and he can feel himself sinking into the couch a little further in guilt. No, not only from the images he saw, but... from what he did to him a few days ago...


Delmar...
puzzlingly: (☥ 91.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Atem cannot look away, he sees Delmar wither in front of him and it hurts. Not even the passing of time was so evident on the screen. He sees him turn and the young Pharaoh panics.

No, he will not allow him to leave just like that!

He shouldn't have let him go to begin with! Enough! He has let go of so much already, he let him go, Yugi! And it hurt! It still does! It never stops hurting. No, he is not going to let Delmar go too! So Atem jumps off that couch, and he reaches, he reaches for Delmar's hand, and just holds it, tight.


Don't go...

Don't leave me...

He's so done with being alone! He doesn't want to be alone! It is what the tone in his voice screams, no matter if he speaks softly.
Edited 2017-10-23 19:51 (UTC)
puzzlingly: (☥ 60.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I know... I know what I said.

He halts his words abruptly. Swallows and looks down, he's not too used to say what follows next. It takes him a moment, perhaps two.

I'm sorry. 「He swallows, it hurts to do so.」Delmar, I'm sorry...

He cannot keep looking up at him, he can't. He lowers his head instead. Even at times like this, his pride takes the best out of him, he cannot let him see him completely shattered. But it is quite obvious isn't it?

I had to... He-- I didn't want him to--

His voice breaks. Words don't come easy to him and it shows, they get stuck down his throat, his explanation getting lost in the silence of the room. Atem doesn't let go, he doesn't plan to let go ever again, not if he can help it.

Forgive me, I've been arrogant...

It is until he utters those words, that he can feel them, soothing threads rolling down his cheeks, little warm drops that fall on the hand he's holding. He cannot remember the last time he felt them.
puzzlingly: (☥ 46.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
It's true, Atem is not only showing so much of himself in this way merely because of what happened between him and Delmar. The man doesn't know how much this old soul has gone through, how much he's bottled and how much he's been hurt. Bakura arriving to Hadriel was the last straw, he's taken everything away form him time after time, and the idea of losing someone to him again... Somehow letting go of them in order to keep them safe, sounded better in his head.

He was wrong. He cannot keep doing that, to himself, to others... What would Yugi say if he knew? That all the time they spent together was for nothing?

Unlike Delmar, Atem dries his tears furiously, he should't be burdening him like that, this is not about him.

... And somehow he finds himself under a blanket. Atem finally looks up at the other, wide eyed and honestly confused. It is warm, however, it feels... nice.
puzzlingly: (☥ 69.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Despite the whole rich attire and the impressive jewelry he's dressed in, Atem just looks like a little lost child, specially under that cover. The kid blinks several times, slowly, the tiniest of drops still hanging from his eyelashes. Did that mean he had forgiven him? He's not sure, but it sure feels less terrible, and he feels less broken under the warmth of a simple cover.

Perhaps he can try explaining again.

He breathes in, deeply. He starts quietly, not quite looking at Delmar, but he returns the gesture by tightening his grip around his hand a little further.


I once lost everything to a man. His thirst for vengeance towards me, towards my father, my kingdom and everything that it represented couldn't be quenched by any means. He took away form me everything and everyone I ever loved.

He had told Delmar once, right? That he is not longer around the living, surely it'd come across that this man took his life too, in some way.

Than man is here.

Atem sighs, tries not to lose himself in the possibilities of that statement.

I didn't want him to hurt you just because you are my friend... I thought it was better if... if I simply let you go...
puzzlingly: (☥ 13.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Atem will forever blame the comforting blanket and not the fact that talking makes everything better, because when he's done talking, he can feel like he can breathe again, at least for a moment.

But it only lasts for so long, he worries again when he sees Delmar's reaction, had he say something wrong? He whispers his friend's name and even goes on his tiptoes trying to reach him, to know what's wrong--

and when it is Delmar who reaches for him, the young Pharaoh freezes.

It had been long since he's felt this warmth, this love... He had missed it dearly, ached for it even.

Atem lets go of that hand, only to wrap his arms around that big frame, just tight enough, pressing his face against the warmth of his friend's chest, a little awkwardly, perhaps, but very much needed.
puzzlingly: (☥ 2.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Atem doesn't even seem to notice the hesitation, he's just fine burying himself into Delmar's light. He never realized how much he had started caring about this man, perhaps feeling a little guilty because of why he had started liking him so much from the beginning.

But Delmar is not Yugi, no matter how much he reminds him of the young man. Delmar shone with a different light altogether, and not because of that, his was less bright.

He doesn't let go for a moment, happy to feel those arms around him, even if he wasn't expecting them, he hears the words rumble in his chest, but allows them to sink in first before thinking about them. In fact, he doesn't ask, he doesn't pressure him, instead he gives Delmar the chance to go on.
Edited 2017-10-23 23:12 (UTC)
puzzlingly: (☥ 26.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Atem, being so close, can feel how Delmar tenses, he looks up at him only then, letting go, though not entirely.

You've always been a good friend to me.
puzzlingly: (☥ 12.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Cue staring.

Nope, he doesn't get it.

He glances back at the television, then back at Delmar.

Little shrug?


Why wouldn't I? You're among some of the kindest people I've ever met.
puzzlingly: (☥ 55.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-23 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Delmar's reaction seems to confuse Atem a little further, but he tries not keep up. There is obviously something that he's missing here, and it is not like him to be so out of something. He may be old fashioned (in... a way) but he usually doesn't get too long to catch up.

Delmar's question is too easy to answer. But, didn't he say that already?


Losing you.
Edited 2017-10-23 23:57 (UTC)
puzzlingly: (☥ 33.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-24 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
... Hah... that's silly... It only makes him smile a little, because he knows a broken smile when he sees it.

Delmar, be straight with me, what is bothering you?
puzzlingly: (☆ 2.)

[personal profile] puzzlingly 2017-10-24 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
The incredibly confused little Pharaoh allows Delmar to take him back to the coach, he sits, comfortably, still wrapped around that blanket and listens attentively.

What he listens, makes perfect sense to him now. But not in the way that Delmar thinks, but in the way that he knows how is it to love someone in that way. To keep them close in one's heart, to get to know them intimately, to know their fears, to love their faults, to watch for them all the time. To wish their happiness above anything else.

He loved like that once. He still does.

He does not get, however, why that would it be wrong. He sees his friend struggling, he listens to him saying how others think his love is wrong.

For a moment, Atem simply observes him, wondering how long he's been carrying that burden, and the answer saddens him.

Yet again, Atem reaches, not just a mere gesture, no. He stands, he takes off that blanket and covers Delmar with it, and it is his time to hold him, in a way. He places his hands on Delmar's head, and Atem just leans forward allowing their foreheads to touch.


Delmar... You're just perfect the way you are. There is nothing wrong with loving someone the way you do.

Doesn't he know it...
aroundthecoroner: (but I never understood the question)

[personal profile] aroundthecoroner 2017-10-24 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Michael is confused at first, not sure why he's here or what's going on. He flips on the tv since that seems to be the thing to do, and watches the scenes that play out. He doesn't initially grasp what he's seeing, but by the end of the third scene, he's got it. The rest just confirms his theory: that the man on the television harbors a secret love for the younger man (James?), but the younger man... well. That shouted slur says it all. It's painful to watch, made all the more heartbreaking by the fact that the main character of this "show" is clearly-]

Delmar?

[Michael jumps a little when the remote gets snatched out of his hand, whipping around to see who else is here. He's not sure if it's better or worse that it's the subject of this weird little dream documentary, but either way he feels uncomfortable sitting now, so he stands up to face the older man.]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I didn't know. Sorry.

[He gestures helplessly toward the television behind him, keeping his eyes averted. There's a lot going through his head right now, like the fact that Delmar is from the 60s, making some of those scenes make horrible sense, and the fact that the last time he saw Delmar was in another dream... with the Visitor involved. It seems sort of silly to think that Delmar in this dream would remember that other dream. Right? It also seems stupid and selfish to be worrying about it in the face of having just seen something so private and vulnerable. But, well, there it is anyway.]

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