Her head spins and, for a moment, she forgets where she is. The dark room seems blacker than before. The crumbled doorway and windows of the shop she'd been thrown into shakes, its structure weakened.
Outside is much worse, though. With the streets beyond riddled with corpses of Null, their central processors ripped and shot right out of their bodies, it looks like a war zone out there. Hell, the whole city has been a war zone for some time.
Oddly, she has never felt more at home.
She starts to laugh, and then remembers where she is. Her back, propped up against a shelf, a dead Null before her. Masergun limp in her hand. She hit its core before it could finish her off. Rey almost wishes it had. Everything hurts like hell.
This time, she does laugh, and hears something squish. The coating of samandrine peels off her body, revealing bare skin underneath the black layers that had once acted as armor. The Null were a quickly adaptive force. She can feel scores of burning holes and pierced flesh all over. Her knee, both legs sprawled out over the ground before her, is bent all wrong. Arm feels crushed. Can't see out of her left eye -- is it gone? No, swollen. Bloody.
Hurts to breathe. Rey draws in several failed gasps of air, tasting something foul and sour from the back of her throat. Water starts trickling out of her one open eye as the black samandrine flakes off her face, revealing more blood and open, gaping wounds all over her body. She brings her good hand to her chest, feeling ribs crushed and caving towards her lungs and heart.
"Figures." She laughs again, to herself. At herself. It's a strained noise coming from her, and then blood spits out of her mouth. Her teeth are red. Her open eye is bloodshot.
Fucking internal damage. That's what she's feeling right now. Internal bleeding, then death.
That's right. She is going to die like this, isn't she? After all these years of holding out, not being allowed to... and it's going to be here. On the floor of a goddamn busted up shop, with only the corpse of a machine to keep her company.
Strange. It isn't the first time she has found herself dying this way. Bleeding out, surrounded by the bodies of foes and allies. But this is the one time where she can't believe it's actually happening...
This is happening, isn't it?
Hope is going to be killed. And she is going to die.
"Looks like... you just about get to keep your promise after all... asshole." Rey's course laughter turns into coughs.
She hadn't forgotten her attempted deal with Hope. Where she had demanded of him not to bring her back, should she ever die here. For a long time, death was all Rey ever wanted. All it offered was darkness; a lonely place devoid of anything. No voices, no touch, no sight. Nothing. She can't bring that horrible dead memory back with her again.
While she had never admitted it, such a place terrifies her. Even if it means never coming back, she never wants to return to that black room of nothing. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't... she can't...
Naturally, she can't even die like a normal person. Shit.
Dec 5th; (CLOSED to Maketh Tua and Carlisle Longinmouth) [CW: blood and suicidal ideations]
Still is.
Her head spins and, for a moment, she forgets where she is. The dark room seems blacker than before. The crumbled doorway and windows of the shop she'd been thrown into shakes, its structure weakened.
Outside is much worse, though. With the streets beyond riddled with corpses of Null, their central processors ripped and shot right out of their bodies, it looks like a war zone out there. Hell, the whole city has been a war zone for some time.
Oddly, she has never felt more at home.
She starts to laugh, and then remembers where she is. Her back, propped up against a shelf, a dead Null before her. Masergun limp in her hand. She hit its core before it could finish her off. Rey almost wishes it had. Everything hurts like hell.
This time, she does laugh, and hears something squish. The coating of samandrine peels off her body, revealing bare skin underneath the black layers that had once acted as armor. The Null were a quickly adaptive force. She can feel scores of burning holes and pierced flesh all over. Her knee, both legs sprawled out over the ground before her, is bent all wrong. Arm feels crushed. Can't see out of her left eye -- is it gone? No, swollen. Bloody.
Hurts to breathe. Rey draws in several failed gasps of air, tasting something foul and sour from the back of her throat. Water starts trickling out of her one open eye as the black samandrine flakes off her face, revealing more blood and open, gaping wounds all over her body. She brings her good hand to her chest, feeling ribs crushed and caving towards her lungs and heart.
"Figures." She laughs again, to herself. At herself. It's a strained noise coming from her, and then blood spits out of her mouth. Her teeth are red. Her open eye is bloodshot.
Fucking internal damage. That's what she's feeling right now. Internal bleeding, then death.
That's right. She is going to die like this, isn't she? After all these years of holding out, not being allowed to... and it's going to be here. On the floor of a goddamn busted up shop, with only the corpse of a machine to keep her company.
Strange. It isn't the first time she has found herself dying this way. Bleeding out, surrounded by the bodies of foes and allies. But this is the one time where she can't believe it's actually happening...
This is happening, isn't it?
Hope is going to be killed. And she is going to die.
"Looks like... you just about get to keep your promise after all... asshole." Rey's course laughter turns into coughs.
She hadn't forgotten her attempted deal with Hope. Where she had demanded of him not to bring her back, should she ever die here. For a long time, death was all Rey ever wanted. All it offered was darkness; a lonely place devoid of anything. No voices, no touch, no sight. Nothing. She can't bring that horrible dead memory back with her again.
While she had never admitted it, such a place terrifies her. Even if it means never coming back, she never wants to return to that black room of nothing. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't... she can't...
Naturally, she can't even die like a normal person. Shit.