Keep telling myself that. ( That she should take advantage of it. She tries to, under the banner that it's what her family would want. That it makes no sense for her to be given this chance Marc so deserves and keep wasting it.
It doesn't make it any easier to take advantage when every voice in her head reminds her that Marc could and would do far more with these ten years than she has. That, perhaps, if Marc was alive, they would have made better choices with regards to Manchester and not spent that decade trying to repair everything. It certainly doesn't make it any easier when Hadriel is in trouble and she knows that Marc would be better at defending them, would be better at knowing what to do. What the city needs.
Back home, she at least felt some purpose with what she did at the clinic. While she knows, logically, that it's better the clinic doesn't rely too heavily on any one person, it aches to know that the thing she's spent seven years learning is barely more than a little useful here. That her effect is limited to first aid and organising shelves. )
... Yes.
( But despite it, that still holds true. She has things worth waking up for, both here and back home, but still—
no subject
It doesn't make it any easier to take advantage when every voice in her head reminds her that Marc could and would do far more with these ten years than she has. That, perhaps, if Marc was alive, they would have made better choices with regards to Manchester and not spent that decade trying to repair everything. It certainly doesn't make it any easier when Hadriel is in trouble and she knows that Marc would be better at defending them, would be better at knowing what to do. What the city needs.
Back home, she at least felt some purpose with what she did at the clinic. While she knows, logically, that it's better the clinic doesn't rely too heavily on any one person, it aches to know that the thing she's spent seven years learning is barely more than a little useful here. That her effect is limited to first aid and organising shelves. )
... Yes.
( But despite it, that still holds true. She has things worth waking up for, both here and back home, but still—
Still. )