A shudder runs through Carlisle's back as Glacius pulls him tighter, his trepidation about what he feels he must do and what he would rather do to soothe his cowardly nature clashing in his gut. Had someone posed a situation like this to him when he first arrived in Hadriel, when he first got to know Glacius, or even when the first began their courtship, he'd have denied them on principle alone: not only would he refuse to dabble in the darker arts of his world, but he had no reason to. Though he'd spent his service to the Camisou attempting to prove his worth, that was on the hopes she'd not allow his soul to wander in the Land Beyond Living upon death. His death was inevitable, accepted. He had no real reason to live beyond his meager years.

That is not the case anymore, and in a way, that frightens him most of all.

"I don't want to go, Glacius," he admits. "I have seen a glimpse of what suffering you will endure upon my death, and I would do anything to spare you from it. I have witnessed in dreams what awaits me beyond the veil of death, and before, it was a miserable, eternal existence. Now, it is a terrifying inevitability, one made worse because I will have someone I long for, someone I regret leaving."

He presses his face tighter against Glacius' neck, as though he could hide from his own emotions. "We know not what could happen with this, but we know what will happen if I do nothing. I... have spent my whole life not fighting my end, Glacius. Passively awaiting it, hiding away so as not to bring misfortune to others. I now have a reason to do otherwise, and... I feel I should, despite my fear."

And that's quite new for him, but so inspiring has his partner been, and so strong is his desire to keep them together.