The bird was not her idea, okay!!! She was as bewildered by that as Carlisle.
Strange, to hear those words from Carlisle's mouth - do you always do whatever it is you want - when she feels like so little of her life has been even close to what she wanted. She followed Marc because she had to, because she loved him too much to let him try and solve the mystery alone. She stayed with The Agency long after she realised it was a lie, a shithole, because Marc still wanted to solve their parents' murders. She let Alicia run her sword through Rosenberg because it was a more efficient way of dealing with the woman, despite the way her fingers itched to tear the woman to shreds.
Things have changed, certainly. She wanted to do something constructive with her powers, and she did. She wanted to fix the mess they made, and they did. Wanted a job that didn't put more blood on her hands and got it.
But then came Hadriel, and all the things she never wanted to do here. Not least of which was ask that question. But they're on a timer, one that could so easily slip through their fingers and she can't stand waiting. She can't stand doing nothing when it ended so badly last time.
"Fine," she growls, staring up at Carlisle with more irritation than remorse. She hates apologising, but Carlisle's words - even more than Glacius' presence - do cut down somewhere deep, do drag out a reluctant acceptance that maybe, just maybe, she's been a bit of a dick to him once or twice.
"Sorry for not talkin' to you before any of that. Should've." Her hand rubs the back of her neck as she glances away for a moment. Okay, she'll try to keep that in mind. Try to continue changing instead of making it another breakable resolution like she's done with so much in her life, all too easily falling back on bad habits. "But 'm not sorry for tryin' to find a way to save you."
this hurts me (':
Strange, to hear those words from Carlisle's mouth - do you always do whatever it is you want - when she feels like so little of her life has been even close to what she wanted. She followed Marc because she had to, because she loved him too much to let him try and solve the mystery alone. She stayed with The Agency long after she realised it was a lie, a shithole, because Marc still wanted to solve their parents' murders. She let Alicia run her sword through Rosenberg because it was a more efficient way of dealing with the woman, despite the way her fingers itched to tear the woman to shreds.
Things have changed, certainly. She wanted to do something constructive with her powers, and she did. She wanted to fix the mess they made, and they did. Wanted a job that didn't put more blood on her hands and got it.
But then came Hadriel, and all the things she never wanted to do here. Not least of which was ask that question. But they're on a timer, one that could so easily slip through their fingers and she can't stand waiting. She can't stand doing nothing when it ended so badly last time.
"Fine," she growls, staring up at Carlisle with more irritation than remorse. She hates apologising, but Carlisle's words - even more than Glacius' presence - do cut down somewhere deep, do drag out a reluctant acceptance that maybe, just maybe, she's been a bit of a dick to him once or twice.
"Sorry for not talkin' to you before any of that. Should've." Her hand rubs the back of her neck as she glances away for a moment. Okay, she'll try to keep that in mind. Try to continue changing instead of making it another breakable resolution like she's done with so much in her life, all too easily falling back on bad habits. "But 'm not sorry for tryin' to find a way to save you."
She can never be sorry for that.