hadriel_logs | You'd be depressed too if you had Kelson's luck with women

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You'd be depressed too if you had Kelson's luck with women

Who: Kelson and you (open)
What: Jeyne is gone. Kelson is depressed.
Where: Island cliff. Pick an island any island
When: Sept 2-6
Warnings: Depression, talk of suicide, Red Weddings. Angsting under the cloudy sky.

Kelson was twisting the woman's wedding ring on his pinky finger, worrying it back and forth as he watched the water from up high on one of the islands cliffs. The water broke over the rocks over and over, reminding him of another time in his life when his luck with women ran short. When he had plunged over a disintegrating path into the water below, sucked under a waterfall, bashed with rocks and into an underground cavern. No wonder she had thought him dead and moved on.

But this had been different. He'd met a woman who had gone through something similar, an event he'd never thought repeated. No one could be that unlucky. They both had lost that day, scarred and broken a piece of their soul forever. He knew part of Jeyne's soul would forever be with Robb, just as part of Kelson's died in that church, covered in Sidana's blood.

He should have kissed Jeyne when he had the chance. And so Kelson watched the waves, twisting the tiny lion wedding ring on his pinky back and forth, back and forth.

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[she'd been making her way to the boat after a long day at the Sewing Shop when she saw him standing alone on the edge of a cliff. even from a distance, she could see the dejection in his demeanor. she wasn't sure what he was so upset about, but she couldn't let him just stand there, looking so forlorn.

so she approached him, sympathy writ plain on her features, hoping she could do something to ease his pain]

Kelson? Is there anything I can do?

Edited 2018-09-03 00:56 (UTC)

[Laura had been working a late shift at the Speakeasy. the Bakery in the morning and the Speakeasy in the evenings made for a long day, but Laura wouldn't have it any other way. it was easier to banish dark thoughts and urges when she worked herself to exhaustion every night.

so she was on her way to catch a boat back home when she saw Kelson standing at the edge of a cliff. that was weird. she knew Kelson could brood over things, but this looked broody even by his standards. so she went over to him and said]

Hey, Kelson. What's going on?

[Kelson ignored her until she said his name, hearing her footsteps and trying to figure out if he wanted company or not. He briefly folding his head in his hands, stopping the methodical twisting of Sidana's ring momentarily, before raising his head and turning toward her. He shrugged dejectedly, realizing this was the first time that someone hadn't guessed what he was depressed about. He'd never had to explain himself before. But Margaery hadn't known Kelson for years, she didn't know his thought patterns and depressive tendencies, couldn't yet read him like an open book.]

Not unless you can bring her back.

[well, it's entirely too bad for him if he doesn't want company because now that she can see the look on his face, she's not going anywhere until she gets the answers she seeks. she can see that he's twisting a small ring around his pinky finger and wonders if perhaps it belonged to either the bride who'd been murdered or the woman he'd been lusting after. either way, he showed no inclination towards leaving it alone]

Bring who back?

[Kelson usually didn't banish the dark thoughts. He just forestalled them, momentarily focusing on something else until they tapped at him again. Remember me? It was a cycle, a cloud of perceived failures moving around in his brain until the stronger one broke free. Executions, murder, betrayal, failed love. It probably would be better if he had more to do, but Kelson was alone with his thoughts.]

Don't worry, I'm not going to jump.

[Margaery was correct on both accounts, Kelson had made the horrible mistake of giving the cursed ring to both women. With any luck he wouldn't make that mistake a third time. He kept twisting the ring, a nervous habit he didn't realize he had, given to the wife he had called his own for a whole thirty seconds. God, he should have been paying more attention. He didn't think anything would happen. It was a wedding for God's sake. Now he knew better.]

Jeyne. She's gone. She didn't come back with everyone else. And she wasn't on the boats.

[focusing on dark thoughts isn't healthy. even Laura knows that. and it's not like you can change the past, much as you might want to]

Even if you did, Hope would bring you right back. No easy way outs here.

[if she knew that, she would advise him to throw the bloody thing into the sea. and there's no knowing what the future holds. if there was, there would be far fewer misadventures in life and far less uncertainty]

I'm aware.

[she says nothing further as she full well knows how cruel the Door can be]

[No, focusing on dark thoughts is not healthy. Kelson needed something to distract him. Or a way to work it out, to banish the thoughts of the death and killing and lost love. No one ever said being a good king was easy.]

It's a sin too.

[He let out a sigh and momentarily stopped worrying the ring on his finger.]

What happens when people here disappear?

[well, she's willing to listen and try to help as much as she can. she's not sure how much good a damaged soul like hers could do, but she'll try]

That's what I've heard.

[now leave the ring alone]

They go back to their own worlds.

[Kelson would be liable to jump in after it. Rothana threw the ring into the castle middens after thinking he was dead. He drained it to get it back. His attachment to that ring was deeply unhealthy, and steeped with regret.]

That's it? You're aware?

[Kelson's depression sinks back into anger as he looks at her, wondering what's behind that seemingly unfeeling remark.]

That's all you can say?

[And sadly, that made him worry the ring more, knowing the life she had to go back too. He looked down momentarily]

That wasn't the kind of life she wanted. But, I suppose so few of us get to live the life we expect, the life we want. I hope she finds happiness, in some small way.

[even more reason to be rid of it]

Yes. I'm aware.

[it's far from unfeeling. Jeyne is not the first person the Door has taken that Margaery has cared about and she knows that she will be far from the last. she releases a little frustrated sigh]

It's all I can say because there is nothing I can do about it. The Door is cruel. It takes people from us. It takes them all the time. Do you think, if I could bring her back, I wouldn't? If I could bring back the man I love, I'd falter for a second?

[no, seriously, leave the ring alone]

Who's "she?" I feel like I'm missing something here.

[Luckily that was all it took for Kelson to realize he'd been an unthinking idiot, too caught up in his own thoughts to think of how others might be feeling. To think that of course she'd lost other people too. She'd been here much longer than he had. She was used to this happening, like a battle seasoned warrior was used to death. He thought he should be used to it too. He wasn't.]

You're right. I wasn't thinking. I apologize.

[Kelson remembered another time when he went on like that and his foster brother threatened to thrash him if he did it again. He didn't think Margaery was likely to physically thrash him though.]

[What, you mean you weren't privy to his inner most thoughts, Laura? Kelson took a mental step back, forgetting that you had to clue people in to what you were thinking in order for them to follow the conversation.]

Jeyne. She didn't come back when everyone else did. I was hoping but.....she's gone.

[Kelson put his hands together, stopping fidgeting for a moment.]

After the ordeals of the last few days, Swift should probably be spending more time with Seel, but he's also not stupid enough to cling to the har, either. They just barely made it through the last game, they didn't need another fight already. So he's out, taking a walk, thinking. He's definitely got a lot to think about.

This place is sort of...austere. There's not much to look at, but it is lovely in a severe sort of way. Beautiful in the danger, maybe. That sounded familiar.

He's not surprised to find another person there, really. It's a wonderful place to be melancholy, feeding into the mood that as much he hates feeling, he doesn't want to come out of it quite yet. It feels good, sort of, to just stay there for a while.

He debates for a moment before calling out to the man--clearly he's lost in something--but eventually curiosity gets the better of him and he's fiddling with something on his hand.

"What's that?"

[she's lost friends and her beloved and has been there for friends who have lost family. she is well aware of the Door's capriciousness. she feels badly for Jeyne who was going back to an unacceptable situation with no hope of release, but there is not a thing she can do about it from here. no one can]

Thank you. Your apology is accepted.

I wasn't aware the two of you were so close.

[don't put it past her, she hasn't been training with Sonya Blade for nothing]

[no, she's not. she can barely handle her own thoughts without running to Dr. Sweets every week. and yes, she is missing the backstory]

Was Jeyne your girlfriend?

[good. now just stay like that. no fidgeting]

As long as Kelson didn't plummet over the cliff, he felt perfectly safe and could enjoy the view. He figured, at least, that sort of disaster only happened once per lifetime. God wasn't cruel, but perhaps life was. Either way, he hoped life had less cruelty in store for him. He'd been caught up in watching the water against the rocks, thinking about that other time he plummetted below. It had been a miracle he survived. He almost hadn't, with those skull fractures and that poison. That time, he felt sure, had a higher purpose. Pieces had come together, not perfectly, but they had come together. Perhaps something like that would happen here. Maybe there was a reason.

He looked up when Swift approached, recognizing him from their first meeting. " What's what?" Then he looked down at the ring and darkened. Oh.

"It's a ring. It belonged to my bride." He couldn't call Sidana his wife could he? They'd been married all of thirty seconds.

[Kelson smiled wistfully, but shook his head.]

No. I'm afraid neither of us ever got that far. Now that I'll never get the chance I regret holding on to past attachments. Is that strange?

[Kelson blushed at that, not quite willing to admit how much he cared and not quite realizing it until he couldn't have her anymore.]

I hadn't been aware of much until she didn't return, honestly. I should have made it known while I still had the chance.

[What did that say about his self awareness? Was it simply lack of experience and being unable to differentiate between love and lust? And yes Kelson, you should have kissed her when you had the chance.]

No, not really. I mean, you have a crush on a girl who leaves, so there's nothing you can do about it. [she hesitates a moment] I can relate to that, actually, only I was the one who left. And if you want to let go of past attachments, there's no time like the present.

[she tries to sound as comforting as she can]

[at least Margaery didn't have that to regret. she was plain about her feelings for Matt from the start and so was he. so what little time they had, they made the most of]

...I suppose you should have. Now what you have is regrets and those aren't easy to get over.

[it could be a lack of experience. and the line between love and lust can be thin indeed. and he likely should have]

[Kelson started twisting that damn ring again, not quite ready to let go despite his own words. He knew he would eventually have too. He had to find a queen. And most likely, that meant giving up that ring. He could not continue to wear the ring of his dead bride, and one might hope by the he'd have enough semblance of self to realize that giving it to a third woman was a poor idea.]

What's a crush?

[Kelson figured it was one of those words that got lost in translation between their time periods.]

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