[Yeaaah maybe those other spider-mens are better at pulling off the whole I'M TOTALLY AN ADULT thing but they're also not fun-sized, SO.]

Well, really I'm saving you from a giant demon monster thing because I don't want you to get eaten by a giant demon monster thing. Also the nervous breakdown should pass--

[He pauses for a second and then just points at this guy like he's just realized the most exciting thing ever]

Wait, you know who I am! You are literally the first person here who knows me.