Wash was there for this. In fact, it's about him, but there's no way he could have seen it from Tucker's perspective. Couldn't have known what the other man felt, not really, even though intellectually got the point. He'd tried putting himself in the other soldier's shoes many times before, for many reasons, but now Hadriel had put him in Tucker's head and he could feel it for himself.

It's kind of horrible, what he did to his friend, while trying to protect him. The hollowness of it, the sense of loss even though Wash on the other side knew he was okay, he'd pull through. He'd still been ready to die for them, and for Tucker...

Shit.

When it's over and they're back at the kitchen table, the plate of pancakes he was passing still halfway between them where it was when their fingers brushed, Wash feels shaken. As many times as he's apologized for this, and for the implant bullshit, as much as he thought he understood... now he knows.

"--I'm sorry," he says abruptly, though it's not clear what he's apologizing for. The accidental transfer, or something that he saw.