[He doesn't hate her, now. Couldn't, in the state they're in, with the invariable pull of something he can't place that's come a few times in his life. Of course, then, the culmination of those moments were those of utter triumph; connecting through worlds with magic he doesn't understand to save Kravitz from a thread started decades ago, breaking an umbrella over his knee, grabbing hands with Magnus and Merle before they ride into the apocalypse--

It stopped being an issue of hate a while ago though, even if she doesn't know it. Now... it's something else.]

It's not about hating you, it wasn't-- ugh.

[He should stop talking, but he wants to make this right now, he wants this to stop being weird with a person he should be so close to, right, he can just-- speak--]

I've been here for like, kind of a while, okay? This thing, this back and forth whatever isn't new to me. I got my memories back like, more than a year and a half ago, it's not about hating you.

[Taako pauses, a wrestle with himself where he can only reclaim so much. He can't get completely into it, the way he has with Lup, the way he's scratched with Barry. But he has to say something.]

But everyone else has just forgiven you like it's nothing and I can't do that, alright? It's not just, over like that, if people think we're all buddy buddy again it's over and it's not fucking over.

[He has no idea if he sounds like he's making any sense right now; it's paradoxical and messy and a byproduct of fighting down years and years of how he's conditioned himself to think.]

I just can't-- close this yet, okay. I don't know when I can.