"Safe as life." As though Noah had summoned the words. He sighs. "You don't have to apologize for them, Noah." Another humorless little laugh escapes him. "I can't really blame them for wanting to believe that everything isn't completely fucked." Because that's how Gansey is too, and he knows it. Denial is the only way to keep the darkness in his head from taking over, sometimes. Gansey has known from very young that something is going to get him, that death comes without warning and doesn't care about fairness.

Except he's still angry, logical or not. They should have told him. They shouldn't have let him promise he'd find a way to get them home when he's not going to live to see the next summer.

He finally thinks to squeeze Noah's hand, hard, brings pale knuckles up to his tight-pressed lips, though he doesn't quite kiss them.

"Thank you for telling me."