[ Whatever he thought would help. That was the despairing thought, wasn't it? That Dean was perhaps beyond help, that there was nothing that Castiel could do for him no matter how much he wished it into existence. That was the thing that was the least fair about all of this, the helplessness that infected him as a result of Dean's own infection.
Castiel didn't know how to cope with it; he'd only ever felt this way once before, and it was when his entire world had been falling down; his great plan to avert the apocalypse shot carelessly in the foot by an afterword. This was the same thing, a great despairing emptiness where all the powers that he had and all the dedication meant absolutely nothing.
Surely anything should be possible if you gave enough of yourself for it, that was what Sam and Dean had taught him after all, but this? It was just so unfair.
He worked his mouth, anxious and deeply unhappy, and then turned his face down into Dean's shoulder, wrapped an arm around him, and took him home. This... How could this be the way it was? Why was it happening like this? He wanted to just hold Dean and kiss all of this away, but even that wouldn't make it disappear, not now. It was devastating, and Cas didn't know how to deal with it. So he'd look for a cure. He'd try magic. He'd do anything once.
Back in their living room, where only a week or so ago Castiel had...made Dean a car, he once more urged him to take a seat. ]
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Castiel didn't know how to cope with it; he'd only ever felt this way once before, and it was when his entire world had been falling down; his great plan to avert the apocalypse shot carelessly in the foot by an afterword. This was the same thing, a great despairing emptiness where all the powers that he had and all the dedication meant absolutely nothing.
Surely anything should be possible if you gave enough of yourself for it, that was what Sam and Dean had taught him after all, but this? It was just so unfair.
He worked his mouth, anxious and deeply unhappy, and then turned his face down into Dean's shoulder, wrapped an arm around him, and took him home. This... How could this be the way it was? Why was it happening like this? He wanted to just hold Dean and kiss all of this away, but even that wouldn't make it disappear, not now. It was devastating, and Cas didn't know how to deal with it. So he'd look for a cure. He'd try magic. He'd do anything once.
Back in their living room, where only a week or so ago Castiel had...made Dean a car, he once more urged him to take a seat. ]
Come here. Just sit, Dean. Sit.