[ But none of this was right. None of this was good or acceptable or anything that could be happening, and Dean found himself shaking his head before he could stop himself. It was painful but this was the last thing he wanted Cas to endure, to see in him. He was already terrified enough of the Mark and what it could do, terrified that Cas would one day have to see him descend into demonhood that couldn't be backstepped from, and this was just the icing on the proverbially shitty cake. It was just the start, a peeling away of his human veneer and while Castiel had once seen him before in his most destructive of states - destroyed down in Hell - it didn't change the fact that he didn't want Cas to see him like that again.
He didn't want to eat Cas alive, he wouldn't, he refused, and he choked, terrified around the words as he tried to figure out how to do this. ]
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He didn't want to eat Cas alive, he wouldn't, he refused, and he choked, terrified around the words as he tried to figure out how to do this. ]
Cas, you can't- I'm not gonna let us do this.