Then, all that time... It was never supposed to happen like this. Manipulating his best soldier into becoming his phantom, stringing Kaz along like a desperate dog, even Ocelot was just another pawn pushed around Zero's chessboard. What was the point, he found himself thinking for the umpteenth time. Did Zero think Big Boss would be thankful for the chance to be out of the spotlight for once? Go crawling back to him after that near-brush with death?

When John had woken up, the damage had already been done. There had been nothing he could but play the cards he had been dealt.

He wants to apologize, for it to meaningful and for it to be worth anything. He knows that it's a lost cause at this point, though, and, honestly, he couldn't get the words out of his mouth even if he wanted to. Kaz giving himself up to aid his escape, doing all he did for Diamond Dogs, they needed to be done. Whether it was actually him or not was a moot point; they all needed to sacrifice for the good of their mission. Kaz would have lost his limbs no matter what.

"I wish it hadn't been like that. I would have wanted you to be included in what was going on, Kaz," John begins. These words, at least, are true. Better than a simple 'I'm sorry'. "But I can't fix the past and everything that's been done is for Outer Heaven. And that's always what it's been about between you, me, and Ocelot. It's always been the bottom line."