somuchlove: icon by crenando @ DW (198)
Chara ([personal profile] somuchlove) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs 2017-01-20 02:02 am (UTC)

cw for suicidal ideation

[Chara looks up when he does get down at eye level with them. They stare at themselves, that LV 20 monster with that painted smile, with a voice that has a hint of the same sort of giddiness that Chara themselves once had when they first arrived to Hadriel. When they thought that they could do it all over again.

They didn't. The ideal of consequences was one that they upheld. They didn't escape Sans's judgment but reviled in it because you can't judge someone who's already condemned themselves. It's nothing Chara hasn't heard before. It's nothing they haven't heard before...

But things change here. Time moves forward. And...people can die. Asriel was killed by Chara's own double and they can just imagine the look on his face as his best friend stabbed him to death. Frisk saw the picture that Chara had hidden, had taken away from them even though it was their right to know. Made them feel like it was okay for them to disappear, "Not needed" and those words will ring in their head for a long, long time.

Asriel was that flower that Chara terrified back in New Home. Alphys had her own demons and if they had it in them, Chara would be angry all over again. And....they fought Sans again. The outcome of that fight had no real meaning. It was the words that broke them in the end. A blurred line because no one like seeing themselves in a mirror.

"Until next time, kid."

They had fun throwing water balloons at each other.

"Now be a couple of good kids, and be brave for once in your lives, yeah? Do something nice for other people."

* You called for help.
* And Sans died because of it.


"I have seen no happy ending. I do not deserve one."

Self-judgment sure was something.

Chara doesn't reply to the double's remarks but he can see their smile from where he's standing. The same one that they wore during their runs, that followed their morbid line of thought.

"What's one more on the chopping block?"

Some laughter escapes out of their mouth. Just a little bit. Because it's funny. So laugh! Just laugh!]


* 1 left.

[He knows that Chara doesn't mean Frisk. But that probably doesn't matter to him, does it?]

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