[This feels wrong. But it's too easy for Adam to believe bad things about himself - he's been told them since he was old enough to understand. But would Gansey really think that of him? They've had so many disagreements, but Gansey's also believed in him. They've had distance, but Gansey's also tried to be there when Adam needed him.
If things were just a little different, Adam would have caught on already. If he hadn't spent the last few days struggling with his own darker side and ruthlessness, he would question what Ronan is saying more. It does feel wrong, but he thinks that's because he doesn't want to believe it, not because it isn't true.
He looks down at the table. Of course he doesn't want to know what might have been said about him. He doesn't need to feel worse, not when he's already seen that discomfort in Ronan's face, the shift of his eyes away from Adam. That, too, should have been a sign - Ronan has always trusted him so completely, has never even considered the possibility of Adam hurting him. But after what he saw, doesn't it make sense?]
No. I want to see.
[Better to know, he thinks. Better to get all of it over at once.
In the back of his mind, Adam's suspicions are growing. He's too observant, too logical not to pick up on things as the inconsistencies mount, even if he's primed to believe the worst of himself. But he's not quite there yet.]
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If things were just a little different, Adam would have caught on already. If he hadn't spent the last few days struggling with his own darker side and ruthlessness, he would question what Ronan is saying more. It does feel wrong, but he thinks that's because he doesn't want to believe it, not because it isn't true.
He looks down at the table. Of course he doesn't want to know what might have been said about him. He doesn't need to feel worse, not when he's already seen that discomfort in Ronan's face, the shift of his eyes away from Adam. That, too, should have been a sign - Ronan has always trusted him so completely, has never even considered the possibility of Adam hurting him. But after what he saw, doesn't it make sense?]
No. I want to see.
[Better to know, he thinks. Better to get all of it over at once.
In the back of his mind, Adam's suspicions are growing. He's too observant, too logical not to pick up on things as the inconsistencies mount, even if he's primed to believe the worst of himself. But he's not quite there yet.]