[He does remember, and he wants to be sick. He didn't know, he had no way of knowing, and Adam has grown used to and comfortable with casually affectionate gestures like that. He holds Ronan's hand when they walk together sometimes, leans against him when they sit together, kisses him when either of them get home and the other is already there. He didn't even think about it. Why would he have? There were a million reasons Ronan might have been breathing hard, from playing with Aspen to smashing windows to so many other things.
He didn't even think about it. But he should have known, somehow he should have known. He should have been able to look at this creature and know that it wasn't Ronan, that his Ronan was hurt - dead - somewhere. He should have known something was wrong. It's unforgivable that he didn't. He loves Ronan, Ronan is the only person he has ever loved like that.
What's wrong with him, that he didn't know?
His nails dig into the wall behind him. He has to do something or he'll fall apart, but he can't do anything. It's true, he can't do anything to someone who looks exactly like Ronan. He still remembers his hands around Ronan's neck, lashing out, scratching his skin. This isn't Ronan, but he still can't hurt him. It.]
Get out! Get out of here, you sick fuck, this isn't your home.
[His voice is shaking. He doesn't really know what he's saying, he just can't stay silent.]
You don't have the right to even look at me. Get out.
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He didn't even think about it. But he should have known, somehow he should have known. He should have been able to look at this creature and know that it wasn't Ronan, that his Ronan was hurt - dead - somewhere. He should have known something was wrong. It's unforgivable that he didn't. He loves Ronan, Ronan is the only person he has ever loved like that.
What's wrong with him, that he didn't know?
His nails dig into the wall behind him. He has to do something or he'll fall apart, but he can't do anything. It's true, he can't do anything to someone who looks exactly like Ronan. He still remembers his hands around Ronan's neck, lashing out, scratching his skin. This isn't Ronan, but he still can't hurt him. It.]
Get out! Get out of here, you sick fuck, this isn't your home.
[His voice is shaking. He doesn't really know what he's saying, he just can't stay silent.]
You don't have the right to even look at me. Get out.