[When the door closes, Adam doesn't fall apart instantly. He knows the impostor is still in the house, can still come back. He doesn't know when he'll be safe - he doesn't know if he'll ever quite feel safe again. He doesn't want to show his weakness, but he can't do anything either.
He remains frozen, back against the wall, skin crawling. His stomach twists, his hands shake. If he moves it will all crumble.
He closes his eyes and reaches for Cabeswater, for comfort or maybe just for some distance from what he's feeling. It doesn't help, but it's the closest he can come to support. Ronan is gone, that thing is out there, and Adam can't do anything about it. He can't hurt something with Ronan's face. He even kissed it, and though it was necessary, he is still disgusted with himself.
Adam doesn't know how long it is before he comes back to himself. He's not any better, he's not stronger, he hasn't healed. He only delayed things. The moment he opens his eyes, the moment he sees Ronan's still body again, he can't hold himself together anymore.
He sinks to the floor, buries his face in his hand. Adam, of course, cries quietly - sobbing would only have angered his father - but he cries hard. There's no thought in in, only emotion and the inability to make himself do anything else. In the back of his mind, there's a whole list of things he needs to do - make sure the double is gone, take care of Ronan's body, put Aspen and Chainsaw somewhere safe until they wake up. If they wake up, if Ronan comes back, if he isn't gone for good. If this cruel copy of him isn't the only thing left to Adam.
But he can't do any of it right now. He can't do anything. All he can do is curl in on himself and grieve.]
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He remains frozen, back against the wall, skin crawling. His stomach twists, his hands shake. If he moves it will all crumble.
He closes his eyes and reaches for Cabeswater, for comfort or maybe just for some distance from what he's feeling. It doesn't help, but it's the closest he can come to support. Ronan is gone, that thing is out there, and Adam can't do anything about it. He can't hurt something with Ronan's face. He even kissed it, and though it was necessary, he is still disgusted with himself.
Adam doesn't know how long it is before he comes back to himself. He's not any better, he's not stronger, he hasn't healed. He only delayed things. The moment he opens his eyes, the moment he sees Ronan's still body again, he can't hold himself together anymore.
He sinks to the floor, buries his face in his hand. Adam, of course, cries quietly - sobbing would only have angered his father - but he cries hard. There's no thought in in, only emotion and the inability to make himself do anything else. In the back of his mind, there's a whole list of things he needs to do - make sure the double is gone, take care of Ronan's body, put Aspen and Chainsaw somewhere safe until they wake up. If they wake up, if Ronan comes back, if he isn't gone for good. If this cruel copy of him isn't the only thing left to Adam.
But he can't do any of it right now. He can't do anything. All he can do is curl in on himself and grieve.]