[So he had woken up. Ronan isn't really surprised, but it's a little disappointing- it'd be nice to hold all of this off until morning, when they're both rested and entirely sober, and moreover, it'd be nice if he didn't disturb Adam when he's trying to not be shitty to him.
But Adam is awake and now Ronan is awake, and he murmurs a grumble of thanks before turning to take a deep drink of water and settling back into bed, facing the other boy. It's difficult to make out the features of Adam's face in the dark like this, but what he can't see, he knows by heart: the freckles on his brow, the small scar on the underside of his chin, the exact shade of the blue in his eyes. He knows every part of the breathing shadow in front of him and he loves it, wholly and completely.
Ronan has difficulty communicating that on the best of days, and this- this isn't that. He looks away for a moment, just listening to the two of them breathe, before he shifts forward to reach for Adam's hand, wherever it is under the blankets.]
Shouldn't have left.
[He admits in a low mumble, which is something like an apology. Ronan sighs, closing his eyes and just listening to the quiet sounds of the house around them.]
I don't know what to do with myself when I'm angry. I feel sometimes like it's another monster and it's gonna burn everything down around me. [Ronan swallows hard, wetting his lips.] Like I'm a fucking nuclear bomb and this place is ground zero.
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But Adam is awake and now Ronan is awake, and he murmurs a grumble of thanks before turning to take a deep drink of water and settling back into bed, facing the other boy. It's difficult to make out the features of Adam's face in the dark like this, but what he can't see, he knows by heart: the freckles on his brow, the small scar on the underside of his chin, the exact shade of the blue in his eyes. He knows every part of the breathing shadow in front of him and he loves it, wholly and completely.
Ronan has difficulty communicating that on the best of days, and this- this isn't that. He looks away for a moment, just listening to the two of them breathe, before he shifts forward to reach for Adam's hand, wherever it is under the blankets.]
Shouldn't have left.
[He admits in a low mumble, which is something like an apology. Ronan sighs, closing his eyes and just listening to the quiet sounds of the house around them.]
I don't know what to do with myself when I'm angry. I feel sometimes like it's another monster and it's gonna burn everything down around me. [Ronan swallows hard, wetting his lips.] Like I'm a fucking nuclear bomb and this place is ground zero.