[He watches Ronan, watches the gentle way Ronan presses his lips to Adam's fingers. Uncurling his fingers, he strokes Ronan's cheek, soft and careful.]
I was never scared of you. You used to make me wary, because I didn't know you and you try so hard to be intimidating.
[And it works - it worked for Adam, too, who's always had to focus so hard on his own survival. He would never have tried to befriend Ronan if not for Gansey, because Ronan was so deliberate about signaling danger and Adam had more then enough danger in his life as it was. He would not have put himself in the potential path of Ronan Lynch's anger. But even then, he wasn't scared - just wary. Next to his father, fear of anything else felt dull and unreal.]
But you never hurt me. Even when you hated having me around, before we were friends. Even when we've fought, when I've pissed you off. I saw you hurt other people, but you didn't hurt me.
[And for a long time, in the back of his mind, Adam wondered when it would turn on him. Because wasn't it inevitable? Just like his mother always said, his father's anger was partly his fault. Since that was the case, it was only a matter of time before he incited Ronan's anger as well, especially since Adam was far more confrontational with him. Lacking the fear beaten into him by his father, Adam would deploy sharp words and judging looks and cold indifference. But Ronan never responded to that with violence, not toward him, and eventually Adam stopped expecting it.]
Even when I tried - even when I tried to kill you, you wouldn't hurt me.
[He doesn't like talking about that. Even now, he doesn't like thinking about it.]
I have all the reason in the world to trust you, Ronan, and none to fear you.
[It's faith, maybe, the only faith Adam feels. Faith that Ronan will never raise a hand to him, that even if they hurt each other with words it'll never turn into bruises. It's not something he ever questions or doubts. It's just how it is. He trusts Ronan like he trusts no one else.]
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I was never scared of you. You used to make me wary, because I didn't know you and you try so hard to be intimidating.
[And it works - it worked for Adam, too, who's always had to focus so hard on his own survival. He would never have tried to befriend Ronan if not for Gansey, because Ronan was so deliberate about signaling danger and Adam had more then enough danger in his life as it was. He would not have put himself in the potential path of Ronan Lynch's anger. But even then, he wasn't scared - just wary. Next to his father, fear of anything else felt dull and unreal.]
But you never hurt me. Even when you hated having me around, before we were friends. Even when we've fought, when I've pissed you off. I saw you hurt other people, but you didn't hurt me.
[And for a long time, in the back of his mind, Adam wondered when it would turn on him. Because wasn't it inevitable? Just like his mother always said, his father's anger was partly his fault. Since that was the case, it was only a matter of time before he incited Ronan's anger as well, especially since Adam was far more confrontational with him. Lacking the fear beaten into him by his father, Adam would deploy sharp words and judging looks and cold indifference. But Ronan never responded to that with violence, not toward him, and eventually Adam stopped expecting it.]
Even when I tried - even when I tried to kill you, you wouldn't hurt me.
[He doesn't like talking about that. Even now, he doesn't like thinking about it.]
I have all the reason in the world to trust you, Ronan, and none to fear you.
[It's faith, maybe, the only faith Adam feels. Faith that Ronan will never raise a hand to him, that even if they hurt each other with words it'll never turn into bruises. It's not something he ever questions or doubts. It's just how it is. He trusts Ronan like he trusts no one else.]