casperdisaster: (I'm not okay with this vicious cycle)
Noah C͍z̸̖̖e҉͇̳̫r̭͓͇̖̻̲͠n̻͉y͉͙͙̘̠ ([personal profile] casperdisaster) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs 2016-02-29 05:53 pm (UTC)

[Noah does his sort of awkward nearby hovering, unsure if he should help, how he should help if so, and ultimately too unsure if he should say anything about it at all. Gansey will say if he needs Noah to do something, right? Right.

He leans against the counter, watching Gansey work, only to look away when Gansey looks up. There's no reason to, it's just a strange thing to get used to again, being visible all the time. He nods a bit stiffly.]


I don't think there's any going back to the person I used to be. ... I - I mean, that's probably a good thing, I guess. But the parts that I lost ... they're still gone. I'm just more aware of it now, like this. [Noah sighs, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wrapping his arms around himself again.] Before - it was easier when I was upset, too, because I'd just kind of stop if I got too ... too anything. Now I just have to - to 'ride it out'.

[When you spend years relying on being able to avoid most problems, suddenly being forced to deal with something as simple as a headache after crying is borderline unbearable.]

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