[In truth, Noah's glad that Gansey can't remember. He'd tried to comfort Gansey as best he could back on the stop where the poison finally set it, talked him gently through his last conscious moments before the seizures took him, then death. Again.

Gansey had come back, but he was never really the same after that.

That Gansey can't remember that now, it's a blessing.]

It isn't just for you.

[The admission is a quiet, reluctant one, but Gansey had doubted why it had to be him to live. Noah had to tell him. He had to know that, at least.]

You saved Adam and Ronan, you know. Without you, they... [Ronan would probably be dead, spiraled down into his own self-destruction with no one there to hold him back from the worst of it. Adam - Adam would have probably survived, because Adam is a survivor, but there's a difference between living and being alive. Noah finally looks up to Gansey, finally meets his eyes so Gansey can see that he means this.]

I'll do my best to live now, but ... One life for three. That's why it had to be you.