He’d tried to. He’d tried to keep Ronan balanced, and in school, and alive when he’d thought he was suicidal. He’d tried to get Adam away from his father. He’d tried to support them both.
Uncomfortable, he looks away from Noah. ]
I don’t know about that. I don’t know how much help I ever was.
[ It’s honesty so stark that he couldn’t have said it to either of them. Had he ever really helped them, or had they done that for themselves? Adam had left his father on his own terms, helped more by Ronan than by Gansey. Speaking of which… ]
And they have each other, now. They didn’t before. They don’t need me as much as you think.
[ Or as much as Gansey thought. The knowledge of that flutters in Gansey’s chest, carrying anxiety along with it. He knows that’s foolish, and unreasonable. That whatever is between Adam and Ronan now does not change what he has with either of them.
Fear is not so easy to wash away with logic. They still care about him. They’re not going to pull away from him just because they’re together. He can’t think about that. ]
I’m just their friend. Like I’m yours, but the difference is I can help you. You have to stop thinking I’m more important, Noah. You’ve got to value yourself. I do.
no subject
He’d tried to. He’d tried to keep Ronan balanced, and in school, and alive when he’d thought he was suicidal. He’d tried to get Adam away from his father. He’d tried to support them both.
Uncomfortable, he looks away from Noah. ]
I don’t know about that. I don’t know how much help I ever was.
[ It’s honesty so stark that he couldn’t have said it to either of them. Had he ever really helped them, or had they done that for themselves? Adam had left his father on his own terms, helped more by Ronan than by Gansey. Speaking of which… ]
And they have each other, now. They didn’t before. They don’t need me as much as you think.
[ Or as much as Gansey thought. The knowledge of that flutters in Gansey’s chest, carrying anxiety along with it. He knows that’s foolish, and unreasonable. That whatever is between Adam and Ronan now does not change what he has with either of them.
Fear is not so easy to wash away with logic. They still care about him. They’re not going to pull away from him just because they’re together. He can’t think about that. ]
I’m just their friend. Like I’m yours, but the difference is I can help you. You have to stop thinking I’m more important, Noah. You’ve got to value yourself. I do.