hadriel_logs | These are the things we lost in the fire [OPEN]

[ She gets to the bar, as promised, an hour after Chris texts her. It's her lunch break anyway, so there's more than enough time. Frankly, doing this sort of sucks - okay, it really sucks, because Kate usually prefers to deny and ignore her wrongdoings everywhere but in her own mind, in the darkest hours of the night where she has nothing else to distract her.

The fact that she's having to apologise to kids is somehow worse, more humbling. Ugh. Seriously, Galloway, think more.

But - in its own way - the fog did provide some clarity. She's spent most of July coming fully to terms - in her own, mostly silent way - with the fact that she really has more issues with fighting underground, with living underground in general than she realised. That her desire to move to LA - where Creature fighting wasn't such a big issue - was driven as much by the desire to stay above ground as it was by good weather and somewhere new.

(Well, she kind of knew that anyway, but at the time her rationalisation was fewer disasters and more time to enchant.)

She slips into the bar and heads to the counter, letting herself take a seat near the corner and raising a hand in greeting. ] So.

[It may not be that late in the day yet but Chris is onto his fourth coffee at this point, half trying to calm nerves with caffeine--because that's totally a thing that works--and half just to stay awake.

He's really still not sure about this whole thing, mostly because he's torn between embarrassed at being so passive aggressive about it and thinking he should've kept it up; he's not certain he really wants to talk to Kate at all. He hadn't been terribly angry about things right after they first happened, but as time had gone on how he felt about everything had just gotten worse, not better.

Story his life, blah blah blah.

He looks up when Kate sits down, ceasing organizing sugar packets--some of them were crooked in the container instead of aligned--to step closer to her, but leaving the bar itself between them.]

Hey.

[ Calming your nerves with caffeine is the best idea, Chris. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

~~Or do. Please do.~~

Kate props her elbows up on the bar, resting her chin in a hand as she does so often. It's almost deceptively casual, where anyone who walks in would probably think she's just chatting to him.

But half a glance closer would reveal how tight her shoulders are and how uncomfortably curved her spine looks. Way more tension there than she's letting on. ] I'm sorry. That we got you killed. [ Yeah. That's. That's definitely how you broach that topic. Bluntly and with little fanfare. ]

[Some of his friends have said it's a bad idea but what do they know anyway?

Chris watches her shift in posture, not having any trouble reading her tension despite the casual posture, though he ignores it for the moment; he looks pretty much the same, after all. He's not expecting what she says, though, and just kind of stares at her a second before giving a short exhale that might actually almost be a laugh.

The bluntness is kind of comfortingly familiar, really.]

Yeah, well, thanks.

[That's sincere, despite the casual way he says it. It's easy to forgive that part though--at least mostly, anyway--because...]

I mean, it sucked, but that's so not what I'm pissed about.

[ They know nothing. How else is anyone supposed to be a functioning adult without either coffee or booze?

That- that actually surprises Kate enough to pull her from the attempted casual posture into something more upright. Really, she'd kind of expected that to be the reason. Death (she's guessing) must hurt like a bitch, and generally unleashing even stronger monsters into this place is a pretty dumb idea.

(Which, really, wasn't the idea at all, either. Although it's one she should have taken the time to consider and try to minimise.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda, right?)

Although her hair's tied up in its customary work bun - piled completely on top of her head - and her piercings, as ever, are off her face and out of her ears, Kate still finds her hand floating towards the area where the bar through her ear should be.

Really, she has to kick that habit. It's way too easy to read. ]

Then- why? [ She lowers her hand and clears her throat, sitting back into something a bit more natural for her - good posture, hands gripping the counter lightly. ] Lay it on me.

[Truth and since he doesn't drink anymore he has to double down on the coffee, especially in this place.

Speaking of coffee, he picks up his mug again to have something to do with his hands, tapping his fingers quietly on the ceramic and glancing off to the side at her question. Even though he'd been the one to broach the subject, and agreed to this meeting to begin with, he doesn't really want to be in this conversation.

There are multiple ways to go about this, multiple ways to phrase and multiple ways to approach the subject, but he's not sure he can muster up the energy to sugar-coat and be gentle about it. And some part of him really doesn't care to, at this point.

So instead he's just kind of blunt, like she was before.]

We deal with dangerous, awful shit here all the time. It's just... Part of being here, and part of what happened at home, and just... Whatever.

[It isn't that easy to brush off, but in the grand scheme of things he's starting to get used to it as a terrible fact of life. So as traumatizing as dying was, it's something he'd been expecting to happen at some point here and therefore not the issue that's really been bothering him.]

But we're supposed to be dealing with all that shit from the gods, not from each other. So I guess I'm most pissed that you and Sharon and Bianca decided what you wanted was more important than what that might do to everyone else.

[ Yeah someone probably needs to take the booze away from her too, but trying to get her hands from her coffee would be a disaster. ~~She really doesn't sleep enough, no matter how much she insists that three hours is perfectly fine for a superhuman.~~

Blunt? Blunt works for her, pretty well as a matter of fact. So Kate waits it out, curls her fingers a bit tighter around the counter - because yeah? Hearing this from someone who is, basically, a decade younger than her? Kind of humiliating. Kind of embarrassing. - and says nothing for a good minute.

It's not the first time a decision like that has been made in her life. Nor is it the first time it caused disaster. But that-

That would work out, she thinks. She knows, actually. Because Faith is leading it.

But Faith isn't here, and Faith didn't lead the idea that has brought Chris and herself here, to this conversation. And maybe that's the problem. Maybe herself, and Bianca, and maybe even Sharon, weren't the right people to lead the charge of a fight against the gods. For a multitude of reasons.

She presses her lips together and runs her tongue along them before answering. ] ... I don't think any of us were thinking right. [ She knows for a fact that she wasn't, not once the idea took hold. It couldn't be more obvious to anyone that Sharon wasn't thinking right - and, Christ, in the face of time and a more settled mental state, she really was an ass for taking advantage of an angry teenager with too much power and using her as a theoretical key out of here.

Just because she had fallen into that life, become a weapon before she'd even have been allowed into university, doesn't excuse her doing it to someone else.

Bianca- well, Kate's never sure. Even if she likes Bianca, she's... never sure, not really. ] Fear's a pretty powerful thing. [ She says it as neutrally as she manages anything, but her eyes drift to the wall behind Chris, rather than looking at him. ]

[Chris is silent when she is, seemingly considering whether he actually wants to keep drinking his coffee or not--he does, but his stomach is arguing with him on whether it's a good plan at the moment--and he doesn't look directly at her when she does respond. It's for the best, since her words cause a surge of mixed emotions and he has to focus on keeping them under control; he's not usually the type to have that problem, but lately it's been more difficult than usual.

He understands, logically, what she's saying. Emotionally he can sympathize as well, but at the same time...]

Fear of what?

[It isn't harsh, even if there's a bit of edge to his tone, voice still quiet.]

There was nothing happening until Sharon started what she started. And I can buy her not thinking straight, but it's kind of hard to believe from you and Bianca when you decided to help her since she was causing the only threat at the time.

[He doesn't like Sharon, but he can understand being a terrified, screwed up teenager who makes bad decisions, especially if she's just generally as selfish as Chris thinks she probably is. But from Bianca and Kate it's difficult for him to believe they were too scared or confused or otherwise compromised to have not decided to help for their own reasons or gain.]

[ Kate inhales. It's hard to explain. How do you explain a fear that has lingered in the back of your mind since day one? One you've ignored? She managed to explain it to Sharon - because there was that thing about screwing up, the one that meant you really didn't have secrets - and to Maketh, after way too much alcohol.

It's not a wound she really wants to reopen, but it's also is the only explanation she has for why her decisions went so badly wrong. For why she pushed it through faster than she knows she should have, why she went along with Bianca's machinations in the first damn place.

(And, Chris, there's always something happening here.)

She shrugs a shoulder, tilts her head back to look at the ceiling for a moment, like it'll give her the right answer to what he's saying. ]

This place. [ She settles on that, although doesn't care to add further details about why this place might be so terror inspiring that it prompted her to push herself to exhaustion and undergo something so risky in so little time.

Instead, she sort of changes the subject. ]

We thought her power could have done something to affect the door. Open it. Show us where it was. [ If, indeed, the door is a location at all.

But, anything, other than what it did manage. ]

[His grip on his mug tightens a little and he has to turn away a moment to make sure he won't snap at her for that non-answer, taking a slow deep breath. Getting angry won't help with anything, and Kate's bad decisions aren't an excuse to be unkind to her especially if it's just out of pure emotion.

So he waits several seconds until he's sure he can make his voice sound calm once again, trying to ignore the twist of guilt and nervousness about the fact that he has to put in this much effort to keep from getting angry in the first place.

He still doesn't look at her when he responds, but at least his tone is even.]

Yeah. So I've heard.

[He thought it was a stupid idea the first time he heard the explanation and only thinks it's even more stupid now that it's known that it indeed didn't work. But that really isn't the point.]

Do you... Do you regret doing it? With everything that happened?

... Yes. [ Maybe it isn't as simple as yes, or maybe it is. She's never really sure where her mood will take her on any day. Some days she wakes up, resentful and petulant that they did try and that was a hell of a lot more than a lot of people did. Other days, like today, she genuinely wishes she could turn back time and never respond to Bianca's suggestion, or tell her to stick it. And the last few she's somewhere in between, flip flopping from one moment to the next. ]

Not s'posed to be in th' business of getting people killed. [ Not any more. God only knows she had enough blood on her hands before that idea went awry. ]

[That answer isn't the great relief he'd though it might be, but it's... Something. It's more important, in many ways, than the why, because he can understand making a mistake. It's doing something that causes so much harm and then not caring at all that's hard to accept.

And, suddenly, he realizes why he's so mad at her.

Part of it is genuine anger for what she did and how she handled it, but a lot of it isn't actually anger at her at all. He gives a long, quiet sigh, nervous energy seemingly evaporating all at once, and he sets his coffee mug down and turns to look at her again.]

Okay. Okay, then... Pull something like that again and I get to remind you of this conversation as obnoxiously as I can possibly manage, deal?

[He even offers a faint smile to go with the incredibly unintimidating threat.]

[ Nah, unintimidating would be threatening to kick her ass. But that sudden change in tone gets her to properly look at him - rather than past or near him - for the first time in a few minutes. ] Deal. [ She even manages to quirk her lips in something that lies somewhere between a smirk and a genuine smile.

At least reminders would be embarrassing enough to make her reconsider.

The conversation can lie for a moment, before anything else is said. But, eventually, Kate pipes up; ] Heard you got blessed. [ Yes, she was nosing on the network. ]

[It is true that Chris can be terrifyingly annoying when he feels like it.

He lets the silence hang for a bit, deciding it's safe to sip at his coffee--he still feels a little unsettled, but that's nothing new--and lean sideways against the bar until Kate decides to speak again. At her comment he grins a little more, showing the mark on his hand again.]

Yeah. Purple's totally my color, right?

[ She looks at it for a moment and cocks her head to one side to work out a crick in her neck more than anything else. Never look gift horses in their mouths etc. ] Anything's a good colour if it helps out here. [ At least it isn't Delight's?

And, after another moment's pause; ] What's it do, anyway? [ She's heard a bit about the blessings, but what they do is something she's fuzzier on. ]

[He shares the sentiment; it could be hot pink and he wouldn't care in the slightest because it's really, really useful.]

It's uh, a healing power. Hope said it can do just about anything but bring someone back from the dead, so I was talking to Carlisle and he thinks I should save it for that since you guys have the healing things at the Clinic now.

[ ~~Hot pink is awesome tho :|~~ Her eyes widen at that description because, well, really, really useful is an understatement. And maybe it's just a little bit of a punch and a reminder that she still can't do anything that useful for the clinic, not really. But that's not the issue, is it? Instead, Kate lets out a low whistle of approval.

Alright, so she's a little annoyed, but more healing power is always more important than her own feelings of inadequacy. ]

Probably best. Can't imagine we'll get to rest much longer. [ Last month was almost suspiciously quiet. ]

[Chris is not the type to have his masculinity particularly threatened by pink or otherwise 'girly' things, but he wouldn't exactly call hot pink awesome either. It's a little too bright and eye-searing for him.]

Yeah, though at least um... At least people don't seem to get really seriously injured that often, even when the worst stuff goes on.

[Comparatively not many, anyway.]

I wasn't sure if I should maybe hang out around the Clinic more or what, though. I mean, if it's something life threatening there wouldn't be a huge amount of time to trek out there, right?

[Give him advice, Kate ~~even if he might or might not listen to it~~.]

[ That is true. She's always a bit confused as to how the clinic seems to be forever understocked, understaffed and yet bored all at the same time. Either people healed themselves outside of the clinic or everyone seriously injured just dies. Who knows. ]

No one would say no to more help. [ She drums her fingers against the countertop for a moment in thought. ] I could put you down as an emergency contact. Ring you if we're really in need? [ That's a compromise, one that doesn't necessitate Chris having to hang around needlessly or rearrange bar shifts. ]

I uh... Had kind of been thinking about seeing if I could learn more basics and whatever anyway, so if that's okay, then...

[Then he'd be willing to help out a bit, between all the other things he's doing. It'd be a good distraction, and since the healing power won't last forever and he keeps finding himself in emergencies the more he can learn the better.]

But yeah, the uh, emergency contact thing sounds like a good idea.

[ Well, the doors are always open to teach first aid. Even outside of class times. But for now, Kate just pulls out a pen and a scrap of paper to note that to herself. ] Great. ... those things last, you know?

What, knowing how to do that stuff? Yeah, I mean, what I do know is from like one class in eighth grade, the internet, and television marathons, but it's already um... Been really useful here.

[As much as he wishes it hadn't been, because that would mean people hadn't gotten hurt. But he is really, really glad he knows what he does, and more practice and training would only help.]

[ Oh.

Sorry. She shakes her head. I mean, that's useful but. ] Meant: do you know if that's [ she gestures to Chris' hand ] permanent?

Oh.

[Well, easy enough to answer that question--]

It's uh, it's not. Rey said hers lasted a few months, and Hope mentioned it'd run out faster the more it's used.

[And Maketh said she lost hers when she died, though he won't add that part.]

[ Along with the scribbles of Chris. Hope's Blessing. Emergency contact. - a quick temp gets placed at the side. ] S'pose that makes sense. [ For all the whining the gods do about their levels of power, it wouldn't be sensible to give people permanent power, right? ] I'll stick this in the office. [ She gestures with the paper for a second before slipping it into the pocket of her jacket. ]

Awesome. Um, I'm wondering if maybe I should go to the arena when the new arrivals show up too.

[Just in case. He's been worried for months now about the people new to Hadriel showing up in such a dangerous place and someone getting seriously hurt, and risked going into the arena last month because of it, but this time it'd be a lot safer considering the blessing.]

[ Chris, no.

Kate shakes her head. ] Just worked something out for that. [ With the guard. ] Not sending healers in where they can be injured. [ Henry does talk sense, really. ]

[Well, okay, that makes sense, but he's still not totally sure. Not that he wants to go into that kind of danger, but Hannah appeared last month and what if Beth--or any of the others--are there this time? And even besides his friends, there could be people who arrive already injured or are hurt by the monsters and it's wrong to just leave them.

But if something's been worked out...]

Maybe just... Staying outside of it, then.

[In case there's an emergency and someone who won't be able to make it to the Clinic.]

[ she nods, just a little. ] Bruce is organising that. Talk to him. [ the if you want goes unsaid, but really, it's less a suggestion and more a request to keep things streamlined and make sure they're all aware of the people helping as possible. ]

Okay, I um... Might do that, then.

[Or might not; he's not sure yet. He understands the point of streamlining things, but it also seems like that'd be committing to a plan he might need to change for some reason.]

[ shrug. the choice is yours. the plan seems mostly in place anyway, so extra help or not, it'll go ahead. ] Just don't go wandering in. [ she gets the compulsion to help, she really does, but - ] Think Henry'd have me head. [ that was so dry it almost actually sounded like the joke it was meant to be. ]

I went into the arena last month and it turned out okay.

[It had been pretty terrifying, but he and Hannah had gotten out without any serious injuries and that was before he had a healing ability.]

[ She tilts her head to one side in a variation on her usual shrug. ] That was this month. [ Granted, the things were fucking huge and powerful, but all the same. ] You can heal. Need that more than heroes. [ They have plenty of people who can kick ass. ]

I guess. I just... I dunno. I'm worried about people who might show up who are already hurt, or might get hurt in the arena and not be able to, you know. Wait for healing.

[What if, for instance, Hannah had arrived after breaking her leg and not before? What if someone got attacked while in the arena by whatever awful monster showed up with them?]

[ She gets that, now it's explained. Having not explained the whole situation with the guard, it should be expected. She wasn't thinking, assumed knowledge that she had was general etc. ]

Ah. We're sending some of the healing cells in with the guard. [ For the people that are so badly injured they need more than that, well hopefully they can co-ordinate well enough to move people to the clinic before anything serious happens.

At least the clinic is close to the Colosseum. ]

Oh.

[That knowledge reassures him a bit, because okay. That should indeed, hopefully, be enough.]

Okay. Then um... Yeah, I'll just hang out nearby but... Outside. Just in case.

[But he's less concerned now, at least, that that would mean abandoning someone who needs help. The large part of him that wants to stay away from danger can do so without guilt, now.]

[ That. That will work. ] That'll be fine.

[ She thinks most things have been worked out then, and lapses into thoughtful silence for a moment, just to check if there's anything she's forgotten.

Nope. Can't think of anything ]

Guess that's everything?

I uh, think so.

[And as kind of weird and awkward as all of this was, he's glad things are pretty okay again.]

I'm uh, running the coffee cart for another few hours, but if you have like... Clinic stuff to do, you should feel free to get back to it.

[He doesn't want her to feel like she should be sticking around if she's ready to get out of here.]

[ not so much Clinic stuff, but she's actually pretty hungry. ]

Might stop by later. Need to find something to eat first.

[ sadly, Delight has not blessed her. :| finding food here is a chore at the best of times. ]

[Food's just as important, if not more so.]

Okay, cool. I'll um... See you around, then.

[He even offers a small smile.]

Edited 2016-09-05 04:34 (UTC)

See ya.

[ and she's gone. maybe she'll be back later for coffee.

probably, let's be real. that's been the worst part of this all. feeling like she can't get the good coffee.

~~okay, that's a lie. but it's been pretty sucky.~~ ]

These are the things we lost in the fire [OPEN]

the beginning of august is also july

close enough yeah w/e

i mean i am still pretending it's april so.

ah rp

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