big daddy meat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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hadriel_logs2016-02-14 03:14 pm
camouflage) wrote in hadriel_logs2016-02-14 03:14 pm
Entry tags:
(closed)
Who: boss & kaz
What: big boss takes on a Very Important mission.
Where: kaz's......bedroom
When: feb 13th
Warnings: general warning for two soldiers who have an unhealthy relationship
When most people keep an eye on their friends, it might be a casual phone call to check up on them or a visit to their home once in a while. What it isn't is literal surveillance. Unfortunately, for John, it was honestly the only way he knew how to keep tabs on people, including people he might label as 'friend'. While his and Miller's relationship was still rough around the edges, despite their agreement to work together, John still felt a responsibility to watch after his former second.
Not that the man couldn't look after himself just fine, but they had spent four years working together. Two parts of a whole, practically living out of each other's pockets for at least a year. It was almost like going against instinct when John forced himself to give Kaz some space.
So Big Boss does what he knows best: he follows the man, always in the background but never seen. He watches, he listens, he pays attention to the small details. Miller is the only person in Hadriel who doesn't have a makeshift file of information back at John's place; the old soldier commits everything to memory.
In the end, what he knows is this: Kaz's schedule (give or take a few deviations), the names and faces of everyone living around him, the layout of the spire, how he compensates for his weaknesses. John feels like he knows everything he can. Everything except the mystery of Miller's eyes. Since the first time his former second had arrived, Boss knew there had been something off about them. Of course, Kaz's obsessive trait of keeping his glasses on had prevented him from investigating further. There's really only one option for satisfying his curiosity.
Early one day, before the man in question usually wakes, Big Boss sneaks into Miller's bedroom. Maybe in normal society a grown man sneaking into someone's room while they're asleep was considered creepy, but this was Big Boss (which made it less creepy and more par for the course). John had spent most of his life breaking and entering into places he didn't belong, for the purpose of obtaining sensitive information he probably shouldn't know. Now, all he has to do is be patient and wait for the man to wake.
What: big boss takes on a Very Important mission.
Where: kaz's......bedroom
When: feb 13th
Warnings: general warning for two soldiers who have an unhealthy relationship
When most people keep an eye on their friends, it might be a casual phone call to check up on them or a visit to their home once in a while. What it isn't is literal surveillance. Unfortunately, for John, it was honestly the only way he knew how to keep tabs on people, including people he might label as 'friend'. While his and Miller's relationship was still rough around the edges, despite their agreement to work together, John still felt a responsibility to watch after his former second.
Not that the man couldn't look after himself just fine, but they had spent four years working together. Two parts of a whole, practically living out of each other's pockets for at least a year. It was almost like going against instinct when John forced himself to give Kaz some space.
So Big Boss does what he knows best: he follows the man, always in the background but never seen. He watches, he listens, he pays attention to the small details. Miller is the only person in Hadriel who doesn't have a makeshift file of information back at John's place; the old soldier commits everything to memory.
In the end, what he knows is this: Kaz's schedule (give or take a few deviations), the names and faces of everyone living around him, the layout of the spire, how he compensates for his weaknesses. John feels like he knows everything he can. Everything except the mystery of Miller's eyes. Since the first time his former second had arrived, Boss knew there had been something off about them. Of course, Kaz's obsessive trait of keeping his glasses on had prevented him from investigating further. There's really only one option for satisfying his curiosity.
Early one day, before the man in question usually wakes, Big Boss sneaks into Miller's bedroom. Maybe in normal society a grown man sneaking into someone's room while they're asleep was considered creepy, but this was Big Boss (which made it less creepy and more par for the course). John had spent most of his life breaking and entering into places he didn't belong, for the purpose of obtaining sensitive information he probably shouldn't know. Now, all he has to do is be patient and wait for the man to wake.
no subject
All those men who had died, that was on him. Just like all of the members of Mother Base who'd lost their lives in XOF's attack were on him.
In a way, this time in Hadriel has actually been kind of good for Kaz. Being so far removed from his own world and the painful reminders that come with it has allowed him to slowly begin the process of moving on. Of course, Big Boss' very presence is also one huge reminder, but he's somehow working through that too.
When he wakes up, it isn't violently from a bad dream. There is some sense of light here in Hadriel, but Kaz's eyes are no longer what they used to be, and so he's taken to setting an alarm on his phone so that he keeps reasonable hours. When it goes off, making a horrible blaring sound, he reaches out with the one arm he has left to grope blindly for it.
no subject
Anyway, it's not exactly substantial evidence regarding the strength of Kaz's eyesight. John casually slides the phone toward his fumbling hand, wanting the sound to go away as much as Kaz does. He's not really interested in playing coy or waiting for the man to fully wake up. As soon as the phone is in Miller's grip, he speaks.
"How bad is your vision now?"
no subject
Well, looks like that cat is out of the bag.
It's not that Kaz had been actively hiding it, exactly. His vision isn't great these days, that much is true, but it's not so bad that he can't function, and so why even bring it up? But somehow Snake had gotten wind of it all the same, and he's never been particularly good at outright asking about things like that. No, instead he has to sneak into his room, apparently.
With a grumble, Kaz pushes himself up into a sitting position on the mattress and then rubs the sleep dust out of his eyes. "Gonna have to start locking that window."
Yes, he's being evasive.
no subject
"While you're at it, put a vault lock on your door. Maybe that'll give me a challenge." But hey, he rolls with it. Kaz can dance around the subject all he wants, John already broke into his room to satisfy his curiosity. If that doesn't speak to the lengths he'll go, nothing will. The man just woke up, anyway, he's not looking to get into an argument.
The older soldier steps in front of his partner, a respectable arm's length away, and takes stock of him. He hasn't seen the man this disheveled since those early days in MSF, when they all shared quarters, a little over 13 years ago. "I knew there was something off about your eyes when you first got here, Kaz. Your glasses can't hide everything."
no subject
"If that's the case, you could have just asked," he points out, even though it's pointless. He looks up, making direct eye contact to show off the rheumy state of his eyes. Clouded over, it looks as if he has cataracts. Which doesn't make much sense in a man of his age.
"It's a recent development. My body seems to want to do everything in its power to give out on me." That doesn't mean that Kaz will let it, though, and he doubts that he needs to make that point to Snake. He already knows how stubborn he is.
Pushing himself out of bed, Kaz reaches underneath it to grab for his prosthetic leg, then starts with the uncomfortable process of clicking it into place -- not the easiest thing to do with only one hand. Still, if Big Boss wants to see him like this, at his most vulnerable, then so be it. He brought it upon himself, and Kaz won't apologize for it.
no subject
John wondered idly about those eyes; clearly looking as if they were in a state of total blindness. It made no sense. Kaz could obviously get around just fine and he was making direct eye contact with John now. Were they light sensitive? How far away could he actually see before everything just blurred into swathes of color?
He lost his chance to ask when Kaz went about putting his prosthetic leg on. It's not that the action or the state of his friend's limbs bothered him. He had seen friends in worse physical states and had never thought less of them. What bothered him was the crudeness of the prosthetic. John knew all about Venom's bionic arm, so it was obviously possible to craft highly functional prosthetics. Why would Kaz force himself to suffer walking on that thing? Boss kneels next to his former lieutenant, helping him secure the fake leg whether he wants the help or not. It's unspoken acceptance. "You need better prosthetics, Kaz. You're not a desk clerk, you're a military commander. This damn thing has to be painful to walk around on after more than 30 minutes."
no subject
Though it's a moot point. He knows now, uncovering that answer by force. Typical.
Kaz's mouth twists downward when Big Boss moves to help him, but he doesn't swat him away or jerk backward to avoid his touch. He's had to learn to swallow his pride and accept help at times. He's most used to Venom's careful manner, but even some of the other Diamond Dogs had been there to offer a hand. It isn't in Big Boss' nature to be this gentle, and for that reason it almost seems wrong. Like a salve placed on a burn wound that he only wants to flinch away from.
When Big Boss starts lecturing him, though, Kaz rolls his eyes. "I doubt there's anyone who could help me with that here." He'd actually looked into it, if only briefly. It still counts. After a pause, he bows his head to eye his lap. "I needed it -- that pain. I needed the reminder. I couldn't get comfortable when there was work to do." Revenge to be won, an army to be built -- he'd needed the motivation.
no subject
He hopes.
After the man's fake leg is secured, Boss lingers in his space for a moment longer, observing his eyes now that they're closer. Definitely not cataracts; the whole eye is overtaken with the almost-silver coloring. Maybe it was due to PTSD? He had heard of guys who would go colorblind for no real, physical reason. It was all in their heads. Then again, being colorblind doesn't affect the color of someone's eyes.
John stands, holding is hand out to Kaz to help him up. If he wants to take it he can. If not, John won't be offended. "Could always barter with Hope for some. Just a thought." At this point, he's not against using Hope and Fear for whatever they need. Those two were growing stronger off them no matter what they did. No one in Hadriel could control their emotions for forever. "How's your vision been effected aince the change? Still got 20/20?"
no subject
Snake's definitely singing a different tune if he thinks that bartering with the gods is a good idea. If Kaz does that, then he'll owe Hope something, and that's never a position that he wants to be in. At the same time, Snake has a point -- he can't really sustain this, not in a place as dangerous as Hadriel. "I'll think about it," he says, uncertain.
He reaches out to grab his aviators off the bedside table and puts them on, figuring that Snake's gotten enough of a look by now.
"Colors are faded," he admits, "and I can't see that far." He can manage close interactions and paperwork just fine, and that's usually all that he needs. In the middle of a fight, though, it could be a death sentence.
no subject
What was the man going to do when some terror from the caves decided to come into the city? He couldn't even run if he wanted to.
"How far are we talking?" Far enough to catch someone walking towards him? Far enough to see something charging him? He knows he must sound like a mother-hen, picking at the man, but this place isn't Motherbase. There aren't armed guards or Venom around to alert and protect Kaz from danger. "And tell me the truth. Don't be vague."
no subject
His mouth twists to one side as he considers whether or not it's worth it to try and wriggle his way out of answering the question, but they're supposed to be partners again, right? That means it's important for Big Boss to know where his capabilities end.
"After about twenty yards, it starts to get vague," he eventually says, though he tilts his head up toward Big Boss at a rebellious angle. "It didn't stop me from leading an army alongside Venom, so don't think that you need to worry about me."
no subject
Twenty yards was alright, as far as simply getting around. With no monsters in the inner city, Kaz's life was no more in danger than it was if he were simply trying to traverse stairs. But this place was unpredictable, their only deterrence against the creatures in the caves storming the city was the whims of one god. Anything could happen.
"Ahab isn't here, either. With your amputations and your bad eyesight on top of it, I think you can see why I'd be wary." He couldn't follow Kaz every day, though he had tailed the man quite often. "I'd treat any soldier in your situation the same."
no subject
What Miller isn't prepared for is to hear any mention of Venom, and his head drops down for a moment as a wave of something like nostalgia runs through him. When they'd been working together, Kaz had always felt this undercurrent of anger that he couldn't direct anywhere in particular, with Venom the biggest victor out of all of them.
Now, though, he finds himself missing the man. He really hadn't been much like Big Boss, in the end, for all of their pretending.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Kaz demands, though his tone is eerily quiet. It's difficult not to feel defeated in this situation, where he doesn't have the resources to be anything more than dead weight.