Pell turns, then, leaning against the kitchen counter and gripping the edge of it with both hands. Actually facing Seel -- there's despair in his eyes, loss and pain and confusion.

"He didn't stop looking. He was angry for awhile, that I didn't find him but he never stopped. And I don't know the other side either. I don't know what I did, why I didn't find him. Why I wasn't there to put an end to the pain. It's just making me think that I'm not really me, again, in that time. Because I would have looked."

It's frightening, the not knowing.

"Maybe we are strangers, after all. I don't know if he even wants this me anymore. If I can be enough to make up for all that."