hadriel_logs | Event Log: Dust to Dust

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Event Log: Dust to Dust

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Dust to Dust event
Where: All over the city!
When: January 14th-17th
Warnings: A big ol' mess.

It starts off small: the wind picks up, particles of sand and dirt and dust begin to fill the air. You might not even notice at first, not until you have to wipe the dust off your windows to see outside. After all, it's been a long time since Hadriel has experienced weather, and it's never experienced a weather event not caused by the gods before.

But the gods aren't in charge of the weather now, and even if they could prevent this dust storm, they have way too many other things to do. So it's up to you to deal with it, and as the wind rises and the dust storm moves into the city, there'll be plenty to deal with.

Once the storm is at its peak, it'll be almost impossible to see outside - and it won't be safe to go wandering, either. Entirely besides falling and hurting yourself, if you aren't wrapped up well enough the particles in the air will abrade your skin. Love that sandpaper feel! Oh, and breathing? Yeah, better make sure your nose and mouth are covered, or else they'll be full of sand, too. Hope you've got some goggles stashed away to protect your eyes. Luckily, it won't last too long - 'cause you'll have plenty of cleaning to do once the storm is over.

► This log covers January 14th-17th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you foolishly get scoured to the bone, please let us know here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Carlisle's eyes dart back to Glacius as his partner's voice rises, alarm coloring his features. "What? No! Glacius, I didn't mean to keep this from you!"

But he did, even if by accident. He closes his eyes, sucks in a breath, swallows the knot in his throat, and does his damnedest to make things right, offering his hands -- palms up, eager to be filled -- to his partner.

"I didn't see a reason to tell you about each and every conversation I've had here, but... I should have told you about this. It slipped into the tangled web of my recent burdens, what with this place, Kate, the heat, the ink, and my own fears of losing you in any way. I simply never thought to mention this, and for that, I truly am sorry."

Glacius had already been on the verge of chastising himself for being hard on Carlisle, but that posturing-- eyes closed, palms up and open-- strikes at him immediately. It's the same sort of body language that his people adopt when seeking pardon, and he can't help but wonder if the clergyman picked it up from him somehow, or if this is another one of those little congruities between them.

Either way, it serves to make the big alien feel even worse for his reaction, even if it had been coming from a place of protectiveness. He knows that Carlisle often struggles with feeling like a burden to those around him; he wants the clergyman to feel encouraged to come to him with his problems, not feel scolded for doing so, even if he'd prefer his partner to be more up front and open with him. One step at a time--and he can start by providing that measured calm and stolid support that drew Carlisle to him in the first place.

So Glacius rises up off the couch immediately and strides right up to Carlisle, going as far as to bare his hands before slipping his fingers over his partner's palm and interlacing theirs neatly together. "Oh, my partner, you are fine. If you acknowledge the lapse, and strive to do better, then I forgive you-- and I am sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me. I care so much about you, some times I just feel like I don't know what to do with it all--but I know that I want to protect you, and it frustrates me when I like anything is impeding that."

The alien pauses, tilts his head, then gives the human's hands a little squeeze, trying to get him to open his eyes and look up to him if he hasn't alright. "I'd feel better, I think, if I can help you untangle some of this web that has got you all caught up. What of your burdens can I ease?"

As Glacius takes his hands, Carlisle affixes his gaze upon his partner's face with a look of subtle, but genuine gratitude. His eyes go back down to their hands, his own fingers curling around the alien's bare ones.

One trouble of untangling a mess is simply knowing where to begin. His first inclination is to ask Glacius to cover himself once more, as he fears for his partner's health in the unbearable heat; even in the relative cool of their apartment, he cannot help but fret over the mental image of Glacius suffering, as he had when his microweave was damaged. Still, he decides to start with something smaller first, appreciating the contact of his partner's bared skin while he can.

"I spoke with Kate," he murmurs. "Finally. I believe we are at... some kind of an understanding." Or standstill. It's hard to tell with her.

"With Kate..?" Glacius echoes, not quite understanding how that could be a burden given his high opinion of her-- the puzzle pieces slot themselves into place in his mind fairly quickly, though. The tension between them when she temporarily shared their apartment; the conversation he had with Kate recently over the network...

"You were the one she was arguing with? About staying out of trouble? If so, then... I am glad you two did talk... I don't like the thought of my two closest friends in this place clashing," the alien murmurs. "For what it's worth, I... did try to encourage her to seek understanding, even when I didn't know you were involved. Tried to tell her that whoever was trying to hold her back likely wasn't doing so because they thought she was fragile, but because they worried for her. I... I hope it helped... she did seem receptive to the conversation. I hope she was receptive to you, as well."

"Somewhat," Carlisle mumbles, grinding his teeth. "She would argue with any attempt to keep her safe no matter who it came from, insisting she need not be watched, and yet she did just that to me when she forced me from my apartment. She wanted to keep an eye on him, as though I could not survive on my own."

Things might be different now, but the irony was not missed, nor appreciated.

Glacius can tell-- and though he cares for Kate dearly and will generally back her on her decisions, moving Carlisle out of his home without telling him or waiting for any sort of agreement from the clergyman had struck him as a flagrant breach of boundaries. He hadn't even considered it before now, but as it's been brought to his attention, he can see how it could be particularly chafing.

"That certainly isn't fair, and I'm sorry," Glacius murmurs, slipping his fingers out from between Carlisle's, but only to rub their tips soothingly against his partner's palms. "But... I don't think my bringing that up to her would accomplish anything, since that particular event is so far in our past now. I will keep trying to get through to her in regards to her own safety, though... and now that I know who she's been clashing ideals with... I can try to help express your sentiments to her, as well. If it helps... I know that she cares about you deeply, and thus does not mean to put you through undue distress, even if it might not... seem like that at times."

Carlisle sighs, his eyes back on their hands; he cannot help but be soothed just a little, even if his features are still tinged with frustration.

"I... envy her, Glacius," he admits after a moment of silence, his mouth stretching into a wide frown. "I envy what time she has, and how flippant she is with it."

That quiets Glacius, who finds himself frowning similarly-- as he can't quite help whenever thoughts of his partner's demise worm their way into his head. "It's... it's not her being flippant, at least not from what I have seen. She genuinely wants to protect the people around her... and she feels as though sacrifice is sometimes a necessary path to that end. I cannot say that I disagree in that regard," the alien replies quietly, thoughtfully. "The universe is a dangerous place, this city in particular, and I would see my blood shed and feel my bones break countless times over before I let even a scratch mar your body. But I... am coming to understand that there are some costs that might be too high, and that other's wishes for our wellbeing that must be respected, and I... tried to impart as much to her."

The alien heaves a sigh. "It is, unfortunately, a complicated issue-- we all want each other to be safe in the end, but there are threats encroaching from all angles. But the good news is that we will all fight for each other with everything that we have... and that you have friends, and a partner, who will support and care for you in every way that they know how. So if you talked to Kate about this, I can only hope that she will take it to heart, and perhaps try to be more sensitive about her actions... even if we can't hold her back from the fray any more that we can hold you back from your healing duties. We all have things that are important to us that we would risk ourselves for, after all."

Glacius is ever patient, ever understanding, and through him, Carlisle gains some clarity. "Some costs might be too high..." he repeats. "So easily you put into words what I was struggling to express to her. As terrible as losing her again would be, more troubling to me is how she disregards the concerns of those who care for her, seemingly ignores what pain they suffer when she falls... or worse."

And as someone who has been left behind too many times in his brief life, lost so many and struggled to carry on their legacy, Carlisle feels the heft of that concern tenfold. Kate didn't even tell him when she died the first time in Hadriel -- she seems to care, but does she truly? Actions, indeed, speak louder than words, even to someone as wordy as Carlisle.

The agony left in the wake of someone's demise has been heavy on the clergyman's mind lately... especially in regards to Glacius. Perhaps action would do him well, too, but how high is the cost?

He's not sure he wants to know, but he must find out, nebulous reasons forming from desperation in the back of his mind. He closes the gap between himself and his partner, pressing his head to Glacius' chest.

"Hold me, please."

Now that feels like something Glacius can provide concrete assistance with. He doesn't even respond with words; he just emits a loving, rumbling purr as he slips his hands out of Carlisle's and then surges forward to wrap his powerful arms around the lanky human's waist, hefting him effortlessly. From there it's just a few steps backwards until they flopped down on the couch, the ice alien placing himself on his back—a position he would not adopt with any other—so that his partner can position himself however he wants.

Once he has, that's when words come back. Glacius keeps one arm draped over the clergyman, but threads the other through his partner's hair as he does his best to look him in his eyes. "Here you go. And... I'm sorry things have been so hard lately, Carlisle. I feel it too, but I'm... glad you're opening up to me about all this. You're still allowed to feel bad, but just know that I will do what I can to help you get through it."

Carlisle takes the repositioning as an opportunity to bury his face in Glacius' neck, right at the crook of his shoulder as the rest of him halfway slides beside his partner, the back of the couch keeping him from slipping away. If only it were so easy to keep his very essence from doing that, more and more of him lost to the aural tear each day.

He pulls in a breath, letting it rattle out of him, his face still hidden as though it'd keep his troubles at bay. "I have to do this, Glacius. I have to try to help Rose. It's not something I could consider normally, as magic of such a nature is taboo at best, and necrotic at worst, but..."

His fingers curl as he tries to keep his hands from shaking, but Glacius can no doubt feel the tremors than run through them as they rest against him chest. "I feel I have no say in what Kate does. I cannot battle the gods nor monsters that we face here as you can. I hardly have control over what little time I have left in this existence, but- but if I could help her... maybe therein lies a way to help myself."

All this comes from a man who, only a year or so ago, would have never considered experimenting with any magic even remotely related to necromancy. He still finds it repulsive, but even his healing magic can be used for ill will. Perhaps there is a way to do the opposite for the forbidden arts.

Bringing that particular topic gets Glacius to tense again as a sound that's part whine, part growl slips up out of his throat. But this talk has contextualized some things for him—namely the fact that they can't hold each other back from their respective callings, and his repeatedly emphasized desire to help his partner with his troubles—so when he speaks again, there's less stonewalling and... more unguarded concern, perhaps allowing them to strike at the heart of the matter.

"But this is different than anything you've tried to heal or cleanse before, you just said it yourself. We... we don't know what could happen and... I'm supposed to keep you safe. What if I let you do this and it goes terribly?" the ice alien laments, tightening his grip on his partner as if to physically emphasize his next thought, the crux of the issue: "I... I don't want to let you go."

And from the way that Glacius says that, it is very apparent that he doesn't mean going to Roise, or to this task—but that he doesn't want to let Carlisle go in the truest sense of the word, that he doesn't want to lose him.

A shudder runs through Carlisle's back as Glacius pulls him tighter, his trepidation about what he feels he must do and what he would rather do to soothe his cowardly nature clashing in his gut. Had someone posed a situation like this to him when he first arrived in Hadriel, when he first got to know Glacius, or even when the first began their courtship, he'd have denied them on principle alone: not only would he refuse to dabble in the darker arts of his world, but he had no reason to. Though he'd spent his service to the Camisou attempting to prove his worth, that was on the hopes she'd not allow his soul to wander in the Land Beyond Living upon death. His death was inevitable, accepted. He had no real reason to live beyond his meager years.

That is not the case anymore, and in a way, that frightens him most of all.

"I don't want to go, Glacius," he admits. "I have seen a glimpse of what suffering you will endure upon my death, and I would do anything to spare you from it. I have witnessed in dreams what awaits me beyond the veil of death, and before, it was a miserable, eternal existence. Now, it is a terrifying inevitability, one made worse because I will have someone I long for, someone I regret leaving."

He presses his face tighter against Glacius' neck, as though he could hide from his own emotions. "We know not what could happen with this, but we know what will happen if I do nothing. I... have spent my whole life not fighting my end, Glacius. Passively awaiting it, hiding away so as not to bring misfortune to others. I now have a reason to do otherwise, and... I feel I should, despite my fear."

And that's quite new for him, but so inspiring has his partner been, and so strong is his desire to keep them together.

All that just gets Glacius to hugs Carlisle tighter while the human burrows against his neck, going so far as to pawing at the human's back slightly as he tries to get the best grip possible. "Oh, Carlisle... I am touched that you wish to stay with me so badly... but I am not sure how I feel about the fact that you feel you must put yourself through so much just to stay with me. Of course I want you around for as long as possible... but death comes to us all at some point, and I will be grateful for and cherish whatever time we are allowed. And during that time I want you to be safe, and happy, not feeling like you... constantly have to put yourself out there, just for fear of what might happen to me when you are gone."

He sighs sadly, squeezing Carlisle one last time before gently trying to pry the human away from his neck—not to keep them apart, as he immediately presses their foreheads together in that solace-seeking and providing way, but so that they can make eye contact with one another. "But if this is something that you feel strongly that you should do, then I will not stand in your way. Just make sure that you're doing it for yourself, not for worry of me, not for some sense of obligation to someone else... but because you think it is best, and because you want it. By now, I think you deserve the chance to take control of your fate into your own hands."

As much as he wanted to stay embedded in Glacius' neck, Carlisle does appreciate their usual method of showing comfort, pressing his forehead tightly against his partner's in their personal sign of affection and solidarity. What's more is what Glacius actually says, the support he provides with his words as much as his actions.

"To take control of my own fate," he murmurs, his eyes closing as they glisten with a mixture of melancholy and determination. "I suppose that is what this is about, isn't it? Not just accepting things as I have seen them for so long, but... trying to do otherwise, despite everything that says I shouldn't. Despite my fears and apprehension, despite my nerves and my impending end. I don't wish to further its advance, but if I do nothing, it will find me regardless."

His expression relaxes; he rubs his forehead against Glacius' smooth brow again, his hand finding its place along the warrior's prominent scar. "I have had so much taken from me, and could do so little to prevent it. I have blamed myself for years, and even now, I still feel the guilt of their deaths, and of my failed lineage, weighing upon me. My existence until this place had been a burden on others... and on me, yet I persisted out of the terror of what awaited me. There were times I contemplated my end by the riverside, knowing I had so little to lose."

Carlisle shifts his head just a little, the bridge of his nose gracing Glacius' head in their form of a kiss. "I now have a reason to take control of what life I have left. I have motivation to do what I can to live, and while I feel sometimes that I don't deserve it, I know you would say otherwise. You give me what reason I need, Glacius. You- you are everything to me in this existence. You are why I want this."

The only response that Glacius gives to that is a shuddering exhale; he doesn't seem to have any more argument to make or advice to give. How could he, when his partner is offering up such heartfelt sentiments, returning the alien's own back to him? He only wants to be with Carlisle in this moment, relishing in the love that they share. Unfortunately, what brought them to this point still looms before them; they must face it, and so the otherworldly being speaks up again, bolstered by their bond.

"You have grown so much, my love," the ice alien murmurs, pleased that even distressing circumstances can bring them to a deeper understanding, and a more fully-fledged connection. "I cannot state enough how proud I am of you... or how pleased. Pleased to know that you will do whatever you can to stay by me. As your partner, it is my duty to return that, so... how do I help you for this? If you are going to undertaking this perilous task, surely together we can find a way to minimize the risks to you. I would feel much better knowing that I've... done what I can to make this safe for you."

Which seems to be a recurring theme for the alien, no matter what world they're considering. He might not be able to hold Carlisle back or keep him from danger all the time, but if they can prepare and work together... he knows they can find a way to prevail.

Carlisle can't help but smile at his partner's pride, that acknowledgment of personal progress rejuvenating. He continues to graze Glacius' ridges with the bridge of his nose before finally resting his forehead against the alien once more, letting the cool of his armor soothe him as he tries to think.

"I will need to use your energies somehow. I... I am not sure I can, or should, use only my own."

He has no doubt Glacius has noticed his recent bouts of coughing, as well as his weariness when he returns from his garden. The glyphs that keep it watered and protected from the oppressive heat are fairly simple, but numerous, and such a tax quickly adds up into something significant.

"But I would rather not expose your energies to any kind of taint... just in case."

Edited 2018-02-11 20:22 (UTC)

Glacius certainly has noticed it, and all the other signs of his partner's struggling health lately. As such, he responds in a careful but up front manner, "I'll be honest, Carlisle, I don't think you can or should be using only your own energy unless it is a dire emergency. The Mote is there to keep you nourished, and so that you don't have to wear yourself down as much."

The alien puffs a little breath through his nostrils, though he is apparently thinking on the clergyman's words. His people are taught to be wary of corruptive influences, but... can he really call himself a protector or a partner if he shies away from this while Carlisle risks his own energies? "Well, it would be even worse to expose only your own, as we have just said. So I'm not sure there's another option in this case. Besides, my energies are strong and pure... there's a good chance that they will be able to resist this, yes?"

Carlisle tucks away a mental note regarding his use of his own energies for his garden for later, focusing on the latter half of what Glacius says.

"There is, but your energies are so much... stronger than mine. Abundant. They're harder for me to grasp as they flow from the Mote. Perhaps if I had a more controlled source of them, like a— oh!"

He pulls back just a hair to look his partner in the eyes, a rare hint of enthusiasm shining in them. "The Tears!"

"The—ah, yes!" Glacius blinks, having had to take a moment to connect the dots given that such things aren't commonplace in his world. That hint of enthusiasm is infectious, and the alien's own cheekbones twitch upwards just a bit; he hopes he's getting at the same thing that his partner is. "Didn't you say those plants had magical properties—and that they could be used to store a spell, so to speak? Could they contain the necessary casting for an exorcism... or perhaps even energy in raw form?"

"They could," Carlisle confirms, a smile tugging at him. "Exorcism is tricky and must be handled delicately -- especially here, as this isn't exactly an exorcism in the most traditional sense -- b- but the energy required for it could easily be contained in one of the seeds. You could provide me what I need, and it'd keep us that much safer, both your energies and mine."

He presses his face to Glacius' once more, hoping to express his gratitude properly.

Glacius accepts the expression of gratitude readily, his own smile growing as he butts back against Carlisle's face. "Ah—ha, see? Look at us, working together, figuring out a proper solution... you do not have to drain yourself if I am the one filling the Tear, and if the energy being used is coming from an isolated source, then my pathways and your aural channels should flow safely, without risk of being tainted by whatever energies this... other party is based off of. Now this—this is a plan I feel good about."

Then something seems to occur to the alien, however, and he slows and nudges Carlisle's face a bit more carefully—as if he's trying to get his attention. "Just... save the other Tear, alright? It was a gift to you, and I want it used for your aid; we must either try to cultivate another one if possible in the continued hopes of getting a spare to bloom... or you must save it and use it for yourself in an emergency. I want you as safe as possible in this damned city, and having insurances can only help."

"Of course," Carlisle assures his partner, his hand caressing the side of Glacius' face. "That you got me two -- even one at all -- was an unexpected blessing, and now, it works to our advantage. Perhaps luck will favor us with the remaining one, as I expect whichever we use in this process will not survive the endeavor."

Not that that's always the case, but that is how it usually goes -- with the magic stored expended, the seeds wither and crumble, unable to be rejuvenated in any way. There are many reasons the Tears are so rare, and their intrinsic value as magical phylacteries is one of them.

"Though with our Bond, I can't picture a situation where I would need to use the other." Or rather he can, but would absolutely prefer not to: would the Mote's energies still provide for him in the event of Glacius' death? Or should his lover be torn from Hadriel, back into his own world? Those are truly terrifying thoughts, as without Glacius giving Carlisle a reason to sustain himself at all, such energies stored within a Tear would be almost meaningless... and possibly unused.

Edited 2018-02-12 07:41 (UTC)

"Ah. That's rather... bittersweet, isn't it?" Glacius replies, tilting his head against Carlisle's hand as he tends to do when his partner caresses his scar. "Losing the Tear, I mean—but to a good cause. Certainly to a good cause, if it minimizes risk in unknown territory. Anyways. Of course we will hope against hope that you should never have to use the other, but that does not mean that it is not still a good idea to have a back up. If you get badly injured or end up suffering fatigue as dire as what plagued you after our doubles attacked, for example, then the Tear could help negate that. It is all about being prepared. One can never take too many precautions, especially not with the wellbeing of the one that they love."

"I suppose that's true, though I have what energies I need through our Bond." He brings his spare hand to his chest, feeling that warmth resonating within, using it to stave off his paranoia. "I—"

A chuckle makes its way out of him, but it's born from quiet uncertainty rather than mirth. "My eyes glow now. I didn't realize it until someone pointed it out to me. It's peculiar how your energies have manifested visibly in me, isn't it?"

Event Log: Dust to Dust

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