Event Log: Dust to Dust

[hadrielmods]

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Dust to Dust event
Where: All over the city!
When: January 14th-17th
Warnings: A big ol' mess.

It starts off small: the wind picks up, particles of sand and dirt and dust begin to fill the air. You might not even notice at first, not until you have to wipe the dust off your windows to see outside. After all, it's been a long time since Hadriel has experienced weather, and it's never experienced a weather event not caused by the gods before.

But the gods aren't in charge of the weather now, and even if they could prevent this dust storm, they have way too many other things to do. So it's up to you to deal with it, and as the wind rises and the dust storm moves into the city, there'll be plenty to deal with.

Once the storm is at its peak, it'll be almost impossible to see outside - and it won't be safe to go wandering, either. Entirely besides falling and hurting yourself, if you aren't wrapped up well enough the particles in the air will abrade your skin. Love that sandpaper feel! Oh, and breathing? Yeah, better make sure your nose and mouth are covered, or else they'll be full of sand, too. Hope you've got some goggles stashed away to protect your eyes. Luckily, it won't last too long - 'cause you'll have plenty of cleaning to do once the storm is over.

► This log covers January 14th-17th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you foolishly get scoured to the bone, please let us know here.

Comments

[tongueamok]

[That clear sentiment from someone who seems to work only in clipped statements -- ones which often leave something to be desired in terms of explanation -- surprises Carlisle; his eyes end up back on Kate, wide for but a moment with understanding he knows he should have had sooner, but couldn't allow himself for fear of being mistaken, of thinking them something they couldn't be. He would damn her with the misfortune he brings upon everyone in his company -- maybe he already has. She is back in Hadriel again, after all.]

Ah.

[His brow tightens, his look rueful, apologetic.]

You know, after you died, you said nothing to me. I found out secondhand and thought, 'Ah. I suppose I was not worth telling. I was not worth informing that I'd be moving into your house until it was already happening. Why would she tell me of this?' I believed myself to be under your watch out of pity, or for concern of what might happen if left to my own devices. You are one of the few who knows about my curse, and what disgusting abilities it grants me.

[Carlisle's shoulders stiffen, his fingers curling into his palms. He can't recall if he's ever told her how much that hurt; he can't remember himself if he managed to express it properly to anyone, or even to himself.]

When you left, I watched as Glacius lamented in his room, refusing to eat, refusing to leave as he suffered from a wound I could not heal. And yet, I felt so little. Jealousy does not suit me, but I festered with it regardless because I could feel nothing else. I was angry that he was your friend, but I was not. That he trusted you and you trusted him, and I could not be trusted at all.

[He grinds his teeth, trying to shut himself up, but stress pushes more words out of him -- it pushes something more as well, ink welling under his eye.]

And then you returned, and you were so casual about it- as if you'd never been gone! I thought of all that had happened. Shadow lashed out in your absence. He threatened me, demanded I teach him to heal. I was a tool for him, and I thought that, perhaps, that was all I'd ever been for you. S- someone whose gifts could be used for the better of the Clinic, and whose curse should be monitored. I wanted to be angry again, but despite everything, I was- I was relieved. [His arms tense as he brings his eyes back to her, one clouded with ink.] I was inexplicably glad you were back!

[Carlisle paws at the talisman below his layers; his chest hurts, as does his eye. Neither is surprising.]

I might not want to feel it, nor admit to it, but I- I missed your presence. I cannot say I have always understood what we are and where we stand, but... your being here, and your safety, matters to me. I need you to survive this place, Kate. Focus your efforts on those you can help. Glacius will need someone who can bring him comfort when I am gone, and... I know no one he trusts quite like you, nor do I know of anyone here I would trust to take care of him in such a way.

[He paws at the ink trailing from his eye, finally out of words.]

[dedikated]

( She never speaks in enough words and he speaks in too many, because when Carlisle starts going, Kate barely has a moment to take in and formulate a response to anything he says before he moves onto the next topic. So she does what she does best and stays silent, watching the flow of his power and the thing that will kill him with milky brown eyes as each word spills freely from Carlisle's lips.

There's so much she could respond to, there. So much that, apparently, needs to be said or questioned. But for the moment, she's more concerned with the cloud of ink in his eye, gripping at the scarf she used to make her way through the dust storm before it got too bad and moving over to his side. Her hand wraps around his upper arm before she tries to use the scarf to wipe away some of the ink.

Okay, where to start. )

... I seem like the type who spends time with people I don't like? ( Because trust Kate, she isn't. ) Too old for that shit. ( And even when she was young, she was too impatient for it. She'll deal with people she doesn't like as is needed, but she certainly doesn't go over to their place for drinks, or pull them into living with her and her best friend.

It's always seemed so obvious to her. Why waste your time like that when life's already shit enough?

Eventually, she folds her arms again, looking at Carlisle and letting her eyes fade to their natural warm brown. But it's less defensive than last time, loose and nearly relaxed.

It feels like, maybe - just maybe -, they're getting somewhere. But, there's one last, very important thing she should say.

It seems like all the things she thinks are obvious aren't so obvious after all. )

I need to know that we haven't missed anything. ( With Hadriel being so strange and alien and bringing together so many things she thought were impossible, she has to have faith that they can do something. ) Maybe you're right. ...Not like this place works like our homes.

( She catches a million explanations in her mouth, traps them between her teeth and lets out a breath. There's one real reason for it, and maybe it's a selfish one, but maybe Carlisle will understand it at least: )

Marc was killed ten years ago. Done all sorts of things since then but... still. Always find myself thinking what if I'd done something different.

( That's why she can't just let this be a fine, have it your way, I'm not getting involved. )

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle's eyes dart to Kate as she moves closer; he flinches as she touches his arm. It's not just Kate, as she likely knows from the layers of his outfit, his general demeanor, and his condition -- that's his natural reaction to contact from basically anyone who isn't his partner. Still, it's a sign of relative trust that he actually lets her wipe at the ink trailing down his cheek. Whatever it is that afflicts him, curse or otherwise, it has most certainly advanced from when they first met. How much further it will progress before it consumes him is yet to be seen.

Though he feels more desperation than aspirations these days, Carlisle cannot bar Kate from trying, from wanting to keep what shreds of hope she has managed to accrue intact. Who is he to deny her that chance? He couldn't call himself a friend, that's for certain... even if he believes the effort to be a futile one, particularly when on the shoulders of others. They say the twice-cursed are damned, and that any who would associate with them are equally damned with the misfortune they bring. Glacius insists the figurative they are wrong, but...

Carlisle pushes a breath out of him. He wants to believe it; he wants to believe Kate, as well. He just finds it difficult to do so. He is, as always, his own worst enemy.]

And what something would you do here, Kate? What different would you do, if given the opportunity?

[dedikated]

( She knows. Otherwise there'd have been less hesitation. It comes from knowing a person almost as long as you've been stuck in this city. Living next door to them, living with them. Having them fall in love with your best friend from another world.

The question gives her pause. She doesn't know what to do about Carlisle's condition yet. She'd have to start looking and analysing, none of which she wants to do right now, after all these things have been laid bare. After the storm subsides and she can drag him into the clinic, perhaps. Where she can keep notes and have staff on hand, just in case. What would she do differently here? She was only thinking about making sure no stone was left unturned in trying to stop Carlisle's curse, but there's a weight to his question that makes her think beyond it. )

... Not try to amplify Sharon's powers, for one.

( Wow, that's an old bit of guilt that bubbles to the surface. )

[tongueamok]

[Now that's something he didn't expect Kate to bring up. The corner of his mouth quirks in a rueful smile, one there and gone in the span of a few breaths.]

How different things might be if you hadn't done that.

[Not just for the city as a whole, but for them as individuals... and as friends. He met Shadow at that time, gotten to know Kate better during the following months. His greatest fears had been made manifest and put on display, as had his partners. Would he and Glacius be as close as they are if it hadn't happened? What about Kate? Or would things be better? Would his condition be as advanced as it is if he hadn't exhausted himself during those times?

He cannot know. All he can do is try to look toward what future he has, as short as it may be.]

[dedikated]

( How different indeed. But she doesn't see the good things which, eventually, blossomed from it. Just the permanent reminder of their actions in a corner of the city. Just the memories of the people who were killed or injured because she needed to get out of here. Away from what was once an underground hell hole. )

Never gonna know.

( She shrugs. Would she do it differently if she could travel back in time? Sure. In a heartbeat. Much like she'd never tell Marc she was too tired of fighting to come along. And much like there may be a chance to actually do something different here, to be there and make a difference for a friend.

She has to try. At the very least Carlisle deserves that, for so many things. )