hadriel_logs | No, I don't trust that you're okay

Entry tags:

No, I don't trust that you're okay

Who: Will Solace and Lance Sweets
What: Will is checking up on Sweets because he doesn't trust that he's okay.
Where: Lance's apartment, Spire 2, 501.
When: 1/20/18
Warnings: None yet, will update.

Will texted Lance about thirty minutes before he showed up. Enough time for him to get ready if he needed too. Hopefully he wouldn't use the time to run away, but Will trusted Lance a lot more than he trusted, say, someone from the Hermes cabin. He could cross off a bunch of things he knew he at least wasn't walking into. On the other hand, he really did miss their black market stash.

So, hoping Lance was still there, Will knocked on the door. He wasn't going to hope that he was okay. Nothing besides divine intervention was that quick, and he didn't know anything about Lance's problems, if they were built upon something from back home or exclusively Hadriel flavored. And the mind wasn't his specialty. That was Dionysus' realm, but like Artemis and childbirth, somehow he always ended up with things that weren't really Apollo related. Maybe if he lived long enough to make it to med school he could skip his ob/gyn rotation. Delivering one baby satyr while being threatened by a overweight middle aged one with a baseball bat was really more than enough.

"Lance? It's me, Will."

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The half hour does give him enough time to kind of make sure things are together; he'd been too tired after the conversation with Kyna the day before to really try getting his apartment under control, but managed to do to at least some extent before Will showed up. It's not exactly pristine, but definitely less disheveled and with less stuff scattered around ~~even if the things that had been are now just sort of stored in his spare room rather than put away.~~

Lance himself still looks tired and pale, the combination of stress and the food shortage having had an effect, but his eyes are bright and intense as they should be when he opens the door. His hair is longer and has gone full curls, and he's dressed in casual clothes that are probably slightly warmer than might seem necessary.

"Hello." He greets Will, purposefully ignoring the awkwardness of how it feels like this is some sort of wellness check--which it is--and stepping aside to let him into the apartment.

Well at least he's up. That's at least something, although Will at least expected that much. Lance knew what he was looking for and could fake his way through it if he wanted. Of course, Will hoped he didn't but there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it if he did, besides stare disappointingly.

He smiled at him as he walked inside the apartment. It didn't look terrible at first glance. But Lance kind of did. His eyes looked good, bright and focused, but the rest of him, well he didn't look like he'd been taking care of himself. Not surprising with the depression he seemed like he was facing, not to mention the lack of food here.

"How are you doing today?" Will reached out a hand to touch him briefly, malnutrition he couldn't fix, but it was better to be on the safe side and know than not.

Lance watches Will making his assessment, indeed very familiar with how this sort of thing goes; although he isn't actively trying to deceive Will or anything, lacking both the energy and desire to bother, he's also not interested in being completely open or honest. It's for both that reason and just simple reflex that he avoids the attempt to touch him; Lance would've dodged it out of surprise anyway, but even if it weren't for that he knows how Will's ability works.

And so Lance narrows his eyes slightly, fixing the demigod with a serious look.

"Will." It's not sharp, but there's still a hint of warning in his tone; he's putting up with being checked in on, but there's a limit to that.

Gods, regular mortals were annoying sometimes. With a demigod he could at least overrule them and just make the grab. Lance however, wasn't a demigod. He was letting Will check up on him out of courtesy, and because if Lance didn't answer the door, Will would have gotten Nico and shadow traveled inside his apartment.

"Alright, fine, eyes only." But he couldn't help but wonder if Lance simply wanted his space or if there was something he was hiding. Maybe he'd do some more digging after he was done with Lance here. Maybe Rosen knew more.

"Here's what I can tell. You're obviously depressed or not feeling well. You're not putting the effort into your appearance that you normally would, your wearing warmer clothes than I would have thought necessary, especially considering the two suns out there, your skin tone isn't that great and last time your apartment was like this I think Rosen was staying here too. Have him stuffed in a closet?"

Will crossed his arms over his chest. "I'd like to help. But I'd also like to make sure that there's nothing medically contributing to your symptoms. Or I'll go find another doctor and send them on in. Your choice. I'm here now."

Lance can, of course, tell Will isn't too pleased, but as far as Lance is concerned he's going to have to deal with. Lance isn't pleased about this whole situation himself, after all; they have to meet in the middle somewhere.

So he's quiet, doing his part, while Will talks, even if the assessment makes him immediately feel defensive and he wants to argue every point. But it isn't like Will's wrong, after all, and Lance reminds himself that he's already committed to at least not completely pretending everything is fine, so once Will is done he responds honestly but only to particular points.

"There's nothing physically wrong with me, aside from the effects of the food shortage." And that's pretty much true; he doesn't think he's been physically sick at all, or if he has it's passed, and it's just the effects of a combination of malnutrition and stress right now. At least as far as the physical symptoms go, anyway.

And that answered, he feels like he should add-- "I agreed to let you check on me, Will, with the key word being 'agreed'. Don't make threats, even well-meaning ones."

He really didn't appreciate those last few lines, and drained and trying to cooperate or not he isn't going to allow the impression that he can be intimidated into anything.

As far as Will was concerned, he didn't really have to meet in the middle. And if this was Camp he would have made that point. But he wasn't at Camp and he was stuck here with an FBI psychologist who intent on digging his heels in. Will wanted to be obstinate and tell him he wasn't a medical doctor, he didn't know that, but held back. If busted in Lance would be pissed and then there wouldn't be any moving forward. And he didn't exactly have the authority here or Chiron as back up. So, Will chose a slightly more gentle approach.

He let Lance think that he was in control here. If he wanted to believe that Will wasn't going to hound him to the ends of the earth, even against his consent, if Will was concerned, well, Will would keep that to himself for now. It made things easier. Idly, he thought if he was his father, he would have probably inserted a well meaning haiku as a diversion. Thank all the gods he didn't inherit that particular trait.

"You know as well as I do that malnutrition and stress can have psychological effects. I can try and help with some of that, if you'll let me. It's only temporary, but it could help. I'd also really appreciate it if you'd tell me a little about how you're feeling. Better, worse." At the moment, he was pretty sure Lance was feeling hostile.

A gentle approach is definitely the way to go with him, although even that can be tricky; since Lance can usually tell when someone is being fake, overly nice behavior just seems patronizing, and that doesn't work very well either. He's just difficult in general to deal with for anything very personal, for many purposeful and not as purposeful reasons.

But for now, he decides to just go along with Will's newest approach, even if he does feel somewhat condescended to.

"I know, but right now it isn't a problem." And that's mostly true too, aside from the exhaustion and feeling cold. The worst of the symptoms were an issue a few weeks ago, but not as much now. "I'm feeling better now, then I was when we spoke last." And that's true also; he talked to Kyna the day before, and it had helped. He knows, of course, that it isn't that simple and the immediate improvement won't last if he doesn't continue doing things to keep it up, but that's a different issue entirely.

And with that, feeling much too scrutinized at the moment, Lance takes the opportunity to lead the way further into the apartment and toward the kitchen. Water is probably a good idea in general, but it'll also give him something to focus on doing for a moment.

Sorry Lance, say hello to Will's fatal flaw, probably the thing that's going to get him killed. Arrogance. Every demigod has one. Guess who he inherited that from? Protip, the world actually revolves around him. Be super grateful it's not as bad in him as it is in some of Apollo's other descendants.

Will was still sure that Lance's nutritional status and the fact that his cortisol was probably through the roof probably wasn't helping him deal with stress, but he wasn't going to push it, at least right now. He watched as Lance went into the kitchen, trying to keep his own demeanor relaxed.

"I'm glad to hear that." He wanted to ask when he was planning on coming back to the clinic, but baby steps. If he couldn't get Lance to let him heal him, he certainly wasn't going to entertain the idea of going back to work with other people.

Talking to Lance was like getting a two year old to share their toy. "Is there anything I can do to help you, right now?" Besides go away. "Want a hair cut?"

The conversation about the Clinic probably wouldn't go as badly as Will might expect, since Lance is not particularly emotionally invested in the issue, but it indeed wouldn't accomplish anything because he's pretty set in his decision.

He gathers two water bottles from the fridge, holding on out to Will, though his attention is more on the conversation itself than the motion. The last question is... Unexpected, but in a good way because it's a relatively safe topic.

"Do you know how to cut hair?" It isn't totally incredulous, because it's not like it's a far out-there skill, but he has to ask even though he's not intending to take him up on it. It isn't like he's concerned about letting Will near him with scissors--he thinks he's safe in that respect, unlike with some people here--but it's a very convenient way to get away with enough physical contact to use his ability.

Also, asking about this particular subject gives a great excuse for Lance to ignore the previous question. He doesn't think there's anything Will could really do to help even if Lance wanted the assistance, but he doubts a simple 'thank you, but no' would be the end of it.

Lance was great as a psychologist. How did Will know? Because he was doing an excellent job at avoiding his questions. Like a damn pro. He reached out, taking the water bottle, he supposed he could have used the opportunity to brush against Lance's hand, but he didn't. He really wanted to though. But that would have probably ended the visit or angered Lance and then Will really wouldn't be getting anywhere.

"Do you have any idea how many brothers and sisters I have? If we all got hair cuts at the Aphrodite cabin the lines would be enormous and half of us would probably end up looking ridiculous." Or like movie stars which effect could only be replicated with an insane amount of product, and while some Apollo kids would totally be fine with that, others weren't. Besides, Apollo kids had awesome hair. Just like their dad.

Will watched Lance, taking a sip from the water he offered, gauging how well he'd keep the conversation going when it wasn't something about his health.

He appreciates the lack of an attempt, because he was expecting the possibility and Will is right; doing that would be a very effective way of completely ending any potential progress.

But as it is, he's fine allowing this particular conversation, considering just what kind of ridiculous hairstyles someone who had Aphrodite for a parent might decide to give others. "That makes sense, although are your siblings more concerned with getting a good haircut or just practicality?" It's said lightly, not meant to be a jab or implication that Will isn't skilled, just that practice doesn't necessarily mean much. Besides, Lance's hair is curly anyway, which can be both good and bad but definitely makes for more of a challenge.

Clearly Dr. Sweets had never actually met Apollo, or seen his man-bun. Be grateful Lance. Be so grateful. Will laughed softly.

"The Ares cabin would be more concerned with practicality. Clarisse's hair sometimes looks like someone attacked it with safety scissors. Which I guess is actually a possibility. Dad meanwhile gets embarrassed if he has to turn the sun chariot into a school bus instead of the normal Maserati mode. I'm not great, but no one in Cabin Seven's gotten embarrassed because of their hair yet. I admit, I'm better at stitches."

Huh. Interesting. Lance is fine with normal conversation. Okay, that was good at least. He just didn't want to talk about himself. Which was a problem. But at least he seemed like he was getting better, if he had talked to someone.

Lance is definitely not sad to have not met a bunch of gods, especially knowing what he does of Will's world. He doesn't think he'd get along well with them.

But yes, talking about hair is fine, and it's a lot less stressful than the topic of himself while still--hopefully, anyway--showing that he's clearly well enough to be involved in the conversation and stay on track. Surely that's enough, right? Right. That bare minimum of normal is plenty.

"That's probably still pretty good; people can be very sensitive about their hair." So if the Apollo cabin wasn't devoid of vanity but weren't upset with Will's work, then he's probably actually decent. Maybe Lance will take him up on the offer at some point in the future when he isn't expecting it to be used for an ulterior motive.

Most people don't. The key is knowing what not to say and avoid getting turned into a potted plant or a pile of glitter. As for conversation, regular old talking was fine. Which just meant that Lance really didn't want to talk about what was going on with him. Which was a problem. Or a potential problem. Will hoped he actually followed through and talked with a friend about what was happening. Because otherwise, he wasn't going to get better. Clearly dealing with it on his own wasn't working.

"Until you've lived with hundreds of kids and teenagers, you have no idea." Honestly, he missed waking up and seeing Kayla's green and red hair and Austin's DNA helix cornrows. Or would it be summer by now and the summer session group be in by now? He'd been here so long he'd lost track of time.

Lance has had more than enough of having to carefully avoid the ire of someone dangerous to him; that's not a situation he would ever be alright with considering normal again. Gods or not.

But yes, indeed the main issue is that Lance doesn't want to go into any sort of personal issues at the moment; he did talk to Kyna, but he waited so long to do so because trusting someone enough to open up with them is very difficult for him, on top of other issues. No offense meant to Will, especially in that Lance doesn't think he means anything but well, but he's not willing to talk to him about personal problems for several different reasons.

"That sounds like a nightmare." It's without judgment, not a statement that the situation is actually bad, just that Lance wouldn't be able to handle living with ten people, let alone hundreds. But he's hoping that if he just keeps up some normal conversation for a bit, Will will eventually be satisfied that he isn't dying or anything and will leave him alone.

The only offense Will would take with Lance was him not ever getting help. He would be glad that Lance finally did talk to someone because it meant that he was moving forward, and that there was someone in his life that he trusted enough. Those were important things to have. As long as he was taking steps and not being completely self destructive or hurting others, Will viewed that as a win. Nico had been blatantly self destructive when Will finally stepped in, but Will also had seniority on him, as well as confining him to a hospital bed for at least 3 days. Nico couldn't exactly escape him. Personally, considering that all ended in Will getting a boyfriend, it was a tactic he enjoyed.

"It's not that bad. Privacy is a little hard to come by, but finally getting to be with people like you? With similar problems and experiences? Sometimes family you never knew you had? That's nice."

He sighed and changed tactics. "Lance. Obviously you're not completely self destructive. I do hope you were able to find someone to talk to and that it helps. If there is something I can do, you need to let me know. In the meantime....try and hang in there."

Lance can't totally understand what Will is describing--personally, anyway; conceptually it's not complicated--because he's never had any biological family, or any family at all aside from his adoptive parents and then, as an adult, friends who were close enough to be family. But any sort of bond between people based on being related is beyond him, even if he gets the idea of it being nice to share experiences and problems just fine. The lack of privacy seems like it would make all of that less appealing, though, but he knows he prefers his space more than a lot of people.

He's quiet while Will switches the subject back to the one they'd been avoiding, subconsciously crossing his arms defensively, but there's nothing particularly wrong with what Will is saying and so Lance's answer is quieter and more understanding. "I do appreciate the concern, Will. You don't need to worry about me being any sort of actual danger to myself; I look so terrible because there's been a food shortage and I'm stressed out, nothing else." And that's pretty much true; now that food is showing up again and he can therefore manage to get something low effort--and therefore easier to handle with the whole stress issue--his health will start to improve. And he did talk to someone, so hopefully things will start looking up on that front as well.

He shifts on his feet for a moment, and then continues. "I'll be fine, but... If not, and you can do something, I'll let you know." He can promise that much, considering those caveats give him enough ways to get out of things if necessary.

The lack of privacy was pretty damn annoying. Then again, Will had been spending an awful lot of time in the Hades cabin alone with Nico, since Nico didn't have any siblings and no one was stupid enough to barge into the Hades cabin without knocking. Sometimes the fear worked in his favor!

"Alright. Thanks for letting know if there is an issue. I'll try and check by, if you need anything from one of the stores or something too, let me know. I can get it."

Giving Lance a supportive smile, he nodded and let himself out. At least it was progress. That was all he wanted.

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