hadriel_logs | Embrace the Silence

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Embrace the Silence

Who: Annabeth and Nothing
What: Nothing is hungry and Annabeth is food
Where: Where Nothing is staying
When: 2/1
Warnings: There will be violence and eating of people. Approach with caution

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It took a bit to get some food put together and then head over to wherever it was that Nothing was crashing tonight. If she hadn't needed to look up where he was, she'd need the time to make it through the heat outside. It was still absolutely ridiculous that they were dealing with that. She almost preferred the caves. At least those were cooler.

The building didn't even qualify as a proper "house," but she knocked anyway, trying not to startle him by just turning up inside completely unannounced. She still had a few manners left, even if she was on her last shred of patience with everything right now. She didn't have to take it out on her friends. She'd probably need to keep those around if she could.

"Are you still in there? You didn't leave yet, right?"

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"I'm here." It took a bit of effort for Nothing to saunter his way to the door and let Annabeth in; he hadn't wanted to move much during the last few weeks as the relentless sunshine had chased him inside. It made him feel lethargic, and while he could see in the light far better than older vampires, the brightness and heat made his blood pound in his temples.

"Come in. It's too bright out there."

Since he was so insistent, Annabeth didn't waste any time coming inside, but she peered at him once she was, trying to figure out what was wrong. Probably the not eating anything was part of it, but she couldn't exactly blame anyone for wilting in the heat ad the sun, either.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He closed the door behind her and turned away from it, his hair falling over his eyes. It was getting longer, and although he liked the way it veiled his face the caramel roots were showing. He'd have to scrounge up some black dye soon, although he had more pressing needs.

"I think so." Searching for food was difficult under the unforgiving sun, and he'd attempted to dull his hunger with some of the opium he carried. It hadn't fully worked but the pain in his stomach had lessened. "How about you?"

"No offense, but you don't really look like it." He looked pretty terrible, but she was nice enough to say that out loud. Instead, she offered the plate of food and tried to move on with the conversation.

"I'm alright, I guess." Not exactly happy with Percy leaving, but not as bad as it could have been, either. "I guess I'm just...I don't know, exhausted. I'm really tired of the things that happen here. And how it feels like there's nothing to do in between."

"It's been awhile since I had a bath." Most of his clothes hadn't been washed in a few weeks either, the scent of sweat and smoke and other stale teenage-boy smells hanging in the enclosed air. At the sight of food he opened his mouth and breathed deep, the aroma curling into his throat and making him salivate. His senses seemed fainter than when he had been regularly drinking blood but the food made his stomach growl nonetheless. "Thanks."

He took it gratefully and began eating but kept his eyes on her as he chewed, trying to make it last. He knew what she was talking about all too well: he too had noticed the mundane stretches in between the bizarre, and although he still felt as if he didn't belong in Hadriel at all, missed the daily wildness from back home. "Yeah. And now you don't even have sex to take your mind off of it."

"There's all kinds of water around. You could use one of the pools if you wanted." He probably would have already if he did, but it was a suggestion. There were more than enough to get the drinking water from, and eventually, she hoped, they'd have the running water back everywhere. Little steps. They'd get there.

She blinked for a few moments, shocked and not really sure what to say about that, and what she eventually settled on wasn't exactly articulate, even if it did answer the question.

"Uh. I didn't have that to begin with."

"Yeah." It wasn't a bad idea. Cool water on his skin would feel good, and he could finish up before he got sunburned. He needed more water anyway, but for now food came first. He tried to eat slowly, attempting not to gorge a stomach that had been empty more days than full lately.

Annabeth answered and it was Nothing's turn to look shocked. All the teenagers he knew from home had sex in the school bathrooms or each other's cars. There was never a reason not to, and it didn't occur to him that anyone his age would choose to abstain. "Then what did you do?"

"We talked. Trained. Lately I guess I've been helping him study for DSTOMPs." Shocking, right? That they had other things to do besides sex. And that didn't even account for the fact that really, they were way too busy for it. The moment things started to settle down, there was some new god sticking his nose in their business for whatever reason.

"Are you sure there's not anything else you need? You don't exactly look great."

"When you could have been having sex?" A look of puzzlement was on his face even as he shoved more food into his mouth. Nothing hadn't had sex since coming to Hadriel but before that it was a normal and frequent occurrence. It felt good, it was relaxing, and it made him feel as if he wasn't alone at least for a moment. He couldn't see any reason not to have it.

"Is it that bad?" He hadn't exactly felt great either. The food helped, but he felt far less strong and sure of himself than he once had.

"Yes?" She really could not believe that they were having this conversation, but it was too late to pretend that it wasn't happening. She should have just changed the topic or something. "It's not like I would now what I'm missing anyway. Can we just talk about something else please?"

She took another look at him, maybe a little too sharp-eyed. She couldn't help it, really. Call it genetics. "Yeah. Are you okay?"

"You're a virgin?" He couldn't believe it either. What sort of teenager gets most of the way through high school (or the equivalent) without ever having sex? Especially when they were attractive and had a boyfriend?

"I haven't been eating much." Which normally wouldn't have been a problem: the right sort of food did wonders for him.

"Yes, okay? It didn't really matter that much." Sigh. So much for talking bout something else. She tried, she just couldn't fathom why this was such a big deal.

"You could try sticking closer to people." He wouldn't and she knew that, but she could still make the suggestion. "Someone is bound to feed you if you hang around long enough."

"Why?" It may not have been a big deal, it was just strange. Annabeth may as well have said she'd never listened to music or eaten candy. Sure, maybe there was more to life than pleasure, but why not take advantage of that?

Nothing half-smiled, knowing Annabeth and he were picturing two different types of sustenance. "I don't think anyone's going to want to feed me like that."

"Why what? Why haven't I? Because it never came up, I guess. I was always busy saving the world anyway." Or they just never thought about it. Whichever it was, it wasn't happening now. It was probably a good thing she didn't know what he was missing.

She did stare at him again, confused for a moment before she started talking. "How else would they--oh." That kind. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Then what do you do after saving the world?" It sounded like a terrible task to be given, but no one could be a hero all the time. Surely there had to be times when Annabeth got to relax, and what was more relaxing than fucking? Nothing wondered if she ever got as frustrated as he did, and whether she was used to it.

He shrugged. "What would I say? It's not something you talk about."

"Get ready to save the world again." If everyone could just leave her alone for 400 years now, that would be nice. Maybe she could actually get some sleep. Or finish college. Or not worry about everything at once for a while. That would be good.

"But you need it. You can't just starve yourself."

"Shit." A sudden rush of sadness welled inside Nothing's chest as he imagined what that must be like. To be so defined by your duty that you no longer had a choice or a chance to enjoy yourself, to have no claim over your own time -- it must be like prison. The thought alone made him want to bite into his wrist and seek out what little comfort his own body could provide him. If they'd traded places Nothing would have run from the duty and let the world fend for itself. How trapped did Annabeth feel?

"I'm not starving myself." Was he? For the first fifteen years of his life he'd been healthy enough without drinking blood. Then he'd found his way home and learned what he had been missing, which was far more than blood-drinking's mere satisfaction. "If I want it I'll probably have to kill someone. There aren't that many people here. Someone would try to stop me."

Edited 2018-02-05 21:05 (UTC)

"It's alright, I guess." It wasn't, really, but she'd never had a choice. She'd been chased by monsters right into Camp because it was the only safe place, and then she'd been trained to save the world. It only made sense that she use her skills. Keeping people safe was noble, right? She just wished that they'd pick someone else once in a while. Or maybe actually say thank you and mean it. Gods might have depended on heroes, but that didn't mean they needed to be resentful about it.

Probably have to kill someone. The someone trying to stop him? Probably. That's what it sounded like anyway.

"So use me. There's no one here to stop you and I didn't tell anyone where you are."

And some people would say Nothing was exploited. At least his father had only once put him into a situation where he had to fight to save a life. She seemed set in her role and trying to talk her out of it probably would have done about as much good as Ghost's attempts on him, however, so he let it go for the moment with an "If you say so."

Nothing put down the empty plate and studied Annabeth's expression, puzzled. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do. You're my friend, and I can help." That's just how it worked, as far as she was concerned. That was the kind of thing that she took seriously. When you didn't have a family anymore you had friends. And they might actually take care of you. Besides, this was a problem she could fix, unlike so many of the other ones that came up around here.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Are you sure? You really don't have to, I won't mind." Nothing felt he had to remind Annabeth of that, but after weeks of only his own blood at best, he couldn't refuse the offer. His family would have given it to him, certainly. His friends? Barring Laine's tragic and terrified end, no. At least, he had never thought so.

There had been some times Nothing drank blood without killing the donor, and most of those had been fellow vampires whose dripping wounds and cut veins would heal quickly. He'd only learned a little venous mapping from his father before his death, but the cuts Zillah had made were still fresh in his memory. He could cut and bleed Annabeth without hurting her too badly, he was sure of it.

He repeated, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. It's okay." It would be okay, right? This was the right thing to do, and while she wasn't stupid enough to believe that would be enough to save her, it at least had to count for karma points or something. That's what heroes did, right? The right thing. Even if it maimed or killed them.

"I'm positive. Promise." He probably didn't know what that meant to her, but she did. She'd already made up her mind and she was certainly not going to break a promise. She could do something that wasn't just sitting around and waiting for the next game. That was a chance to help that she couldn't pass up.

"If you say so." He would try not to hurt her. He crossed to the corner where he had been sleeping, digging his straight-razor out of his backpack. Nothing would have splashed alcohol on the blade but had none, and resorted to flicking his lighter and dragging the blade through the flame to sterilize it.

Considering the inside of the building, Nothing nodded toward his nest -- little more than a jacket laid down in a corner, but the coziest spot he had available. "You should probably be sitting down, just to be safe. I'm going to just take a little, but I don't know if I can catch you if you fall."

Edited 2018-02-17 02:25 (UTC)

That looked terrifying, but she'd seen worse. And she'd already said she was going through with it and she could hardly back out now. She took a deep breath, and tried to remember that really, after everything she'd been through a razor was the least of her worries, then nodded and sat down where he'd indicated.

"Thanks. I'll try to stay upright if I can, though."

"I know." Nothing grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and ran the razor blade between his shrouded fingers, wiping off the soot before dipping metal through the flame again to make it the cut as safe as he could. He looked at Annabeth and breathed in deeply, settling in a crouch on his heels next to her.

"Just relax." This was all new to him, but still he was certain he could do this carefully. Nothing reached for Annabeth's forearm and lifted the razor blade, studying every visible vein in her arm before lowering it. Just before he slid the razor's edge over two veins he breathed deep and pushed the metal edge in. "This shouldn't hurt."

Relax, he said, like it was that easy. She took another deep breath and nodded, looking up at him for a moment, still looking as determined as ever. She'd scared people with that look in the past.

"Just do it."

And then he actually did and she gasped, more in shock than in pain. She almost wanted to say something, but what was she suppose to say? Hey, sorry, this really sucks I changed my mind? But she was already starting to think that maybe this was not the best idea in the world.

Nothing felt the veins puncture under the blade and drew in a deep breath, watching as the blood began to well up against the razor. Before it could drip off Annabeth's arm he lifted the blade and lowered his mouth to the wound, lapping up the blood like a cat with cream.

It flowed easily, and he made a quiet noise of contentment as it filled his mouth. The blood lightened him like a shot of liquor in a soda. He took several mouthfuls before looking back to Annabeth. "You okay?"

She felt herself getting increasingly dizzy and lightheaded as the whole thing continued. And maybe started to consider that this was probably a bad idea. If nothing else she should have called Will who would have tried to talk her out of it.

"I don't...I don't know..." She couldn't even be sure she'd actually said that. She was barely even certain she could see the room properly anymore. It was starting to go a bit grey.

She was a lot paler than she had been at the start of their conversation. Nothing tilted his head, clamping his hand down over the wound to slow the bleeding. It didn't stop, his palm becoming slippery and wet.

"Okay, lie back," he instructed, still holding her arm. "That should help. I'm going to get a t-shirt and tie your arm up, okay? Do you want me to call anyone?"

Laying back sounded fantastic, and yet something also told her that was probably a bad idea too. She could barely keep her eyes open. If she laid down she probably wouldn't et back up, but she couldn't have resisted if she tried. She practically fell over at his suggestion.

"Will. Call Will." It was probably too late, but he'd need to know. And he'd pulled miracles before, hadn't he?

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Embrace the Silence

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CW: cutting/bleeding

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