hadriel_logs | Event Log: Tears of Joy

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Event Log: Tears of Joy

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Tears of Joy event
Where: All over the city
When: April 21st-April 30th
Warnings: Lots and lots of regret

Sorrow's back! That's great, except for the sudden wave of sorrow and regret blanketing the city. And boy is it strong. It's hard to think about anything except all the times you've hurt someone, let someone down, failed. It's hard to get through your day while your mind is full of those thoughts, but you have to, right? Otherwise you might be letting someone else down.

Everything would feel a lot better if you could just find a way to make up for what you've done. A way to earn forgiveness. Do you deserve it? Maybe not, but if you can figure out the right thing to do, it won't matter - you'll make up for all the wrongs you committed and everything will be fine. So what will you do? Clean your friend's entire house? Hunt monsters and leave their heads at your ex's doorstep, like a particularly upsetting cat? Or is there something else even more drastic you can do?

Or maybe this isn't really affecting you at all - but someone else feels like they've wronged you, and they want to make it up to you. Are you going to take advantage of this? Pretend it's not happening? You do still feel kind of annoyed by that thing they did that time...

► This log covers April 21st-April 30th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you decide the only way to make up for what you've done is the final solution, please let us know here.

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Rey shrugs a shoulder. "Why not? Doubt it'd make you any more susceptible to their hacking than anyone else with a computer in their heads."

Not really helping her case there, is she? But she does remember that there were more than just the one guy she dealt with during the Null attack, so she's glad that Nick's escaped being used the same way.

"And who knows, maybe Alphys can put together something herself for you. Robots were sort of her thing, so I'm sure she'd be willing to help."

Robots most certainly are Dr. Alphys' thing, but Nick doesn't seem too comforted all the same. His eyes trail back to his hands on the counter, his metal fingers as hard as the surface they're resting on.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to look into it."

He seems to be agreeing with Rey's line of thought, but something about the way he says that -- his voice is a deep rumble, melancholy and doubt dragging it down -- that says he's still unsure if there's anything they can do about this. He couldn't forget those flashes from the real Nick's life, but he forgets the only other prototype out there? The brother he may have killed with his own hands, then forgot about?

There's something about his own memories, those made during his life as a synth, not having the same level of permanence as those of of a real person that deeply bothers him. It's just one more way what identity he's managed to make for himself won't ever be enough.

Memories are important to Rey. She's had hers locked away and rewritten more times than she likes to count, but it happened, and now she has the minds of several other women stored in her own head. Knowing that Nick could lose his due to some stupid hardware and software limitations does not sit well with her.

"If nothing else, it can't hurt to ask Alphys to run a diagnostic or something just to see if it'd even work. It's better than not doing a damned thing about it."

Although that lizard scientist might have other things on her plate at the moment. Not that Rey knows that; she's more or less been keeping out of the whole Name affairs.

Rey goes to help herself to another drink, once she's done with her current one. This is one of those 'needs more than one drink' types of conversations as well, it seems.

Nick's eyes lodge themselves on Rey, dipping for only a moment before returning to her face; his brow tightens as he debates with himself internally. His gut tells him one thing: this is a bad idea. He wasn't averse to fixing himself with part from other synths back home, but they were manufactured by the same people who made him -- he was barely an upgrade from the standard Gen 2s. The parts Rey has been fixing him with from the gods are simple enough, ones that look and function just like the kind he's used to. Spare wiring here, a few extra screws there. Nothing that unusual.

This is different. This might be programming and chips from a completely alien race of machines, ones who are hooked up to a logic core, who share knowledge between themselves freely. Name might insist that they still have their individual identities, but their way of thinking doesn't appeal at all to Nick, and if something goes wrong and his data is overwritten somehow—

This choice would have been a no-brainer back home. He'd been doing just fine with his fault memory back in the Commonwealth, save for whatever he'd forgotten over the years. He didn't have a real family then, though. He didn't have someone who depends on him for some kind of stability in life. They have to keep moving for each other.

Rey's right: it can't hurt to just ask, and doing nothing would be a mistake at this point in his existence. He finally has something of his own, and the thought of ever losing it -- especially if something should happen to Rey, and all he has left of her are his memories -- guts him.

"If there's anyone who'd know, it'd be her," he replies once Rey returns with her drink. "I oughtta drop by later, or give her a call. See how she's doing with her new roommate."

Since when has a bad idea ever stopped Rey from doing a thing? Granted, this is Nick they're talking about here. Rey might have been able to hook herself up to Alphys' computer, but risking her own family is another story.

Regardless, her resolve doesn't waver. When it comes to Nick, she's willing to take the risks to make sure he doesn't suffer. There's no doubt that he would do the same for her, and he's in agreement to that. It's good that they're at the point where they understand this much about each other, when some things are just beyond heated debate anymore.

Rey starts to take the first sip of her bourbon, only to freeze at Nick's comment.

"New roommate? What's that supposed to mean?"

She hadn't heard anything about that from Alphys, but Rey hasn't closely kept up with people's personal lives.

Though they're about the only people in the Speakeasy at this time of night, Nick lowers his voice.

"It means at the moment, she's living with the kind of roommate we don't want the gods knowing about."

He wouldn't go revealing details about Name's whereabouts to just anyone, but this is Rey. She's been out of touch, save for whatever memories she gleaned from Safronov, and he reasons this is something she might oughtta know about.

Once again, Rey goes to take a drink, but Nick's response has her stopped again. She balks at him, setting her glass down on the table hard.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're getting roped into that shit?"

And Alphys as well, it would seem.

Rey sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. She should have known that this would happen, remembering bits of Safronov's conversation with that thing... "Hope you guys know what you're getting into."

"I hope so, too," Nick returns, his eyes back on the counter. He dips his metal hand into his coat pocket, retrieving his phone. "The plan is to move it from place to place, staying under the radar. It won't be there long."

Hopefully. Some details got discussed after he left, so maybe the plan changed. He'll check when he drops by the lab later.

Dammit. She almost would have expected this from Rose, but--

No, no this sounds exactly like what the Nick Rey knows would do.

If nothing else, she wasn't planning on getting involved at all, so the likelihood of her considering on tattling to the gods? Not even an option in the first place.

"Yes, because the lab is probably going to be the first place a smart person would look, considering the gear Alphys has there." And she'd be the most equipped to handle whatever issues that Null is dealing with.

"Yeah," Nick agrees. "Had to take it there first to make sure its communications were as broken as implied."

And if they weren't, it was Alphys' job to make sure they ended up that way in the end. They couldn't risk bringing the rest of the Null down upon their heads, especially with the gods still in recovery.

"With any luck," he continues, "we might be able to learn more about the Null and how they work. And more importantly, how we can stay ahead of them."

All it could take is one slip, and that innocent little robot could get them all killed. Just one. Who knows what could to wrong with technology that they don't fully understand? Or if that thing is going to try and contact its fellows. It told Safronov that it's 'prioritizing' its survival; that could mean that it intends to manipulate the people here in order to stay alive long enough to call the Null in.

No, Rey doesn't trust it. If she had half a mind, she'd use the knowledge of its location to hunt the damned thing herself. Kill it before it can kill them and everything Rey has worked for. All that Nick did for her, what Safronov did, would be meaningless if they let themselves die just because a handful of people are soft.

But that might be a sliver of Safronov, still holding on. If not for the infection, Rey is sure that the Russian would have acted on her suspicions and track the robot down herself.

The muscles in her body tense up. She takes her glass again and finally drinks, downing the bourbon in one long swallow before answering.

"If you say so, Nick," Rey quips, bringing the back of her hand over her mouth after setting the glass back on the table. "But if that thing becomes a threat to you or anyone here, it's getting scrapped for parts."

It's not a suggestion, it's a promise. That's what Rey was meant to do; what she had been tailored for. Sometimes, information is more important, even at the risk of security.

Given what Nick knows about Rey -- about her past, her world, and all that synthetics have done there -- he isn't surprised by her cold reaction to the news that he's helping the fugitive Null, just as he's sure it was no real shock to Rey that he got involved in the first place. They're more alike than most people in Hadriel, but ultimately, they are who they are. He's glad he can trust her with some of the details, just as she trusts him enough to not go and kill Name herself. He doesn't doubt for an instant the thought crossed her mind, though.

But Rey is willing to let Nick handle this, and he, in turn, will defer to her judgment if she feels she needs to make the call.

"All right."

The rest of the team might be pissed about it, but if something goes wrong and the safety of Hadriel is in danger, then it's the right thing to do. For now, it's a calculated risk, one he's hoping will pay off in the long run. You can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs.

Edited 2018-05-01 07:30 (UTC)

Likewise, knowing what Rey does about Nick, she can't fault him for wanting to aid a fellow synthetic. One that may or may not be in a vulnerable state, no less. She's known Nick long enough to recognize that he isn't like the synthetics she contended with in her world, but still struggles with maintaining the same level of trust towards any synthetic and robot that she comes across.

Acting rash won't to anyone any good, so she's better off just trying to trust in their judgments, whether she agrees with them or not.

Christ. She's going to need another drink.

"The rest of the Null will probably come running for us soon anyway, now that Sorrow's back." It would sure as hell explain her mood.

It would explain everyone's mood, really, as well as that lingering guilt hanging from Nick's neck, dragging the rest of him down. He feels a little better now that he's gotten the topic of his memory problems out in the open, but he can't shake that weight completely.

"Wonder how long it'll be until they decide to move us again," he mutters. The heat and extra sunlight don't bother him (save for ruining his noir image), but he knows plenty of folks who'd be happy to go back to the cave. A better question is if they'll end up in a cave again, or if wherever they go next will be an improvement.

Nothing's worse than the damn sunny weather ruining Nick's perfectly suave noir detective routine.

"Well, unless they want to get another one of their own killed again already, it'll probably be soon." Her mouth twists as she looks down at her drink. "The least they could do is give us a head's up this time. Was not ready to be stuck on this shitty planet."

Rey is one of those who miss the cave. At least there was an acceptable amount of night there.

Nick also misses the cave, in a way -- compared to the blasted wasteland of the Commonwealth and the dual suns of the world they're on now, it was pleasant, even with the lack of genuine sunlight. He'll take too little over too much any day.

"I've put that request in the suggestion box a couple of times now," Nick admits. Last one he asked to compromise was Sorrow, actually. "It'd save us a lot of headaches if we knew what was coming. Might give them a little less to feed on, but I'm betting it'd help their image."

"Seems that was never really their concern in the first place." Rey frowns.

Delight acted like she just wanted to be friends with everyone, only to have no qualms damning many of them to their deaths by sending them home at the expense of Hope and the freedom of her species. Rey has even seen their claims that they don't care about the people brought here, and that much was obvious with most of them.

While Sorrow is practical, it would be foolish for Rey to think that even he had any reason to care about them beyond cooperation and some mutual understanding. That's what made him the easiest to work with. At least he didn't pretend...

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Event Log: Tears of Joy

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