Visiting Hours, Party Hours

[vocarrah]

Who: Ianchus, anyone coming by the clinic.
What: Visitation, beratement, and/or patient gossip.
Where: The Clinic.
When: Early-ish August, after this and this.
Warnings: Injuries and stuff? Probably not much.



Nothing injured but my pride. That was a common phrase he'd heard among the explorer-mercenaries after any sort of slip-up, their fault or not. Ianchus' favorite version of that would be to say he had no pride, so he had nothing to hurt.

And yet, there seemed an odd little ache now, in addition to the massive ache that was his whole body (his wounds had been fixed, his ribs wrapped, his cuts stitched, and he was on the way to mending, at the very least).

It looked like he had some sort of pride after all, that could be wounded, small as it was. And Ianchus realized that, despite his idiosyncracies...that for the time being, he was tired of wounds.


He'd been quite surprised at how many people had responded to his half-incoherent messages--even to just check if he was alright after seeing all the other responses. He was...grateful. Incredibly grateful. Everyone was trying to survive here, and yet nobody seemed to want to watch others die, no matter how foolish.

Ianchus had managed to find spare twine, cloth, rope, and other similar objects around the clinic, and he'd whiled away the hours once he was awake by making Cephean sailors' good-luck charms; braiding several different kinds of materials together into a thick rope was not only relaxing (and would keep him from going stir-crazy in his bed), but it was the only way he could think of to repay the people he was grateful to. A little luck would certainly be useful, wouldn't it?

Thankfully he's well enough now to receive visitors. Are you a fellow patient? Have you come to check on him? Admonish him, perhaps? God, but he could really use the company.

Comments

[wantsnudes]

Yusuke shifts on the bed to grab his shoulders, and for a second it looks like he wants to shake sense into Ianchus. But he doesn't, grip simply remaining firm but not tight enough to hurt, mindful of his injuries.

"You are worth it. Nothing you can say will change my mind, so don't try."

[vocarrah]

Ianchus pulls back, taking a breath and lifting his head, that placid look back on his face.

"Really, Yusuke. I can take care of myself. I..." He can't say I don't need you. That might get Yusuke away, but even Ianchus, selfish as he is, isn't that cruel. He doesn't want hurt him. Not even a little.

Too late for that!

"Aahhh. Really. Please. Believe me." It sounds pathetic coming from him.

[wantsnudes]

"No one can do everything alone. That's what friends are for. And you can beg and plead as much as you like, but you cannot stop me from caring for my friends."

He lets go, but the stubborn determination in his expression hasn't gone away.

"Someone once saved me even when I pushed them away. If not for that person, I might not even be here today. So I'm sorry, but I can't turn my back on you, either."

[vocarrah]

Ianchus runs his hand up the back of his neck, his eyes looking far off for a moment, and then he actively shifts them away from Yusuke.

"It's fine. It's fine here. People come back, so..." A little shrug, as half-hearted as his smile.

"What happened at the party was an accident. That you..." That you'd seen it.

[wantsnudes]

Yusuke visibly bristles in anger. "Why are you acting like the other adults here? They told me something similar. Monsters like Caedra are allowed to exist, while any sign of pain is treated as an inconvenience to be endured. I can't -- I refuse!"

He gets to his feet, in half a mind to leave before he makes a scene. But first, ultimately, he has only one question: "Why don't you care what happens to you?"

[vocarrah]

And the smile is still there, but now its hollowness is clear--it's brittle, ready to fall apart at any moment. His voice, when he speaks, is low.

"You're the only reason I would care. Because it causes you pain. Otherwise, it makes no difference at all."

[wantsnudes]

"What do I matter? I'm someone you met here mere months ago. I treasure the time that we've spent together, but I would be under no illusions if you cared more for your own wellbeing than for my feelings."

That's just how most adults are: selfish. Certainly most would never put Yusuke's needs above their own, and certainly not to this extreme.

[vocarrah]

"What would I care for if not you?"

Ianchus asks it quietly, curiously.

"You're young. Bright. You've a strong sense of justice. You're loyal to your friends. Of course I care for you."

He looks down at his hands, gripping the sheets.

"I never should have let you be hurt. I didn't realize. I'm sorry. Truly." The mistake was letting you care for me. I hadn't realized.

[wantsnudes]

"Please, stop it! I can't bear to listen to you blame yourself like this," he takes a step away, voice shaky. "Very few have shown me kindness as you have. And yet..."

Why can't he show that same kindness to himself? It's endlessly frustrating.

"I can't be the only thing you care for here. That responsibility is far too great."

[vocarrah]

Ianchus winces, and his fingers come to rest against his eyelids, his facade finally cracking, his voice thin. Because ah, hadn't he known that feeling before?

At least he has the guts to say it, he thinks bitterly, his heart constricting.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, his voice thin.

[wantsnudes]

Had he been too harsh in saying that? Perhaps. But he can't take it back now, just as he can't change that visibly hurt look on Ianchus's face.

He wavers for a second, like he wants to say more, but instead turns away with a quiet, "I should go."

[vocarrah]

"Yusuke. Truly. I'm sorry."

But he doesn't stop him from leaving. Ianchus is a toxic influence, he knows it. Someone as sensitive as Yusuke would only suffer from him, from his carelessness, from his manipulative personality.

"Please. Take care of yourself."

[wantsnudes]

Yusuke has to try hard to blink away tears, and he offers a quick bow of his head -- in part, to hide them.

"I hope you recover soon." He means it sincerely, no matter how stiff he sounds. With that, he quickly turns to leave.

[vocarrah]

Ianchus lets him go, the tightness in his chest having nothing to do with his bound ribs. And once Yusuke's gone, he falls back heavily, one arm thrust over his eyes. Ah, perhaps it's better this way--but that doesn't change that it hurts, that it's hard to breathe.

I hope you recover soon, Yusuke had said. At the moment, Ianchus wants nothing more than to sink into the ground.