hadriel_logs | You Were As Much in My Hands... (Open)

Entry tags:

You Were As Much in My Hands... (Open)

Who: Delmar + ANYONE
What: Open Bakery Log for September + Any Post-Disappearance Threads with Delmar
Where: Bakery and Around Town
When: All Throughout September
Warnings: N/A. Will Update if Needed

I. Post-Disappearance Threads Prompt (or feel free to wildcard for this if you want something specific like a phone call or showing up at his apartment etc.)

It's not a conscious decision. It's not something Delmar even realizes he's doing. But in the days after things are as 'back to normal' as they can be in this place, he seems to just sink back into old habits. He stays at home more, the bakery oddly closed more than usual. He walks the shore with his nose pressed into his book. All and all he just seems to subconsciously avoid being in contact with others. Not aggressively. If he passes someone on the street he'll still give them his cheerful 'hello!' but his roll in interacting is now passive. He doesn't reach out.

Everyone disappearing shook something in Delmar. Unsettled much of the foundation that he'd been slowly building in his time here. The hurt that had come with everyone being gone made it almost frightening to interact with them again. What if they all went away again? Or for longer? Or for forever? How much more would that hurt?

Though these thoughts aren't even something he realizes are swirling around in his head, they are there, coiling around his chest, making him more easily flustered. More uncertain. And more and more eager to get home and sit in bed with his crosswords.

II. Bakery (also feel free to wildcard any bakery shenanigans with Delmar or post your own top-levels for your charactersif you want!)

Though Delmar's hours at the bakery have shortened at the bakery of late, he still goes of course. If you know him well you might notice he's less talkative. But when spoken to he still chats.

If you come in he'll greet you with a smile, ask you if he can get you anything. He's been working on perfecting his turnovers so he might subtly (read: not subtly at all) nudge you towards them while you are trying to decide.

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[Margaery missed Delmar during the time when everyone went missing although she wasn't as badly shaken by the event as others likely were as she knew it was just another of the so-called gods' tricks on them and that eventually, everyone would return. He was easily her first priority for finding when everyone returned. so she skipped going to the Sewing Shop early the day after everyone came back and headed for Delmar's apartment instead.

he'll hear a polite knocking on the door, followed by]

Delmar? Hello? Are you home?

[Delmar can hear people outside. Voices in the corridors and out on the street but an overwhelming anxiety has kept him inside. Somewhere deep in his mind he has an image of rushing outside to find his friends only to find that everyone else but those closest to him have come back.

It's not logical but it's potent. And for this reason he's hesitated, still in his robe and pajamas, having not shaved since everyone disappeared and looking wholly and uncharacteristically unkempt.

When Margaery knocks he's still in his bed, glasses perched on his nose as he frowns at his crosswords, but he stops, turning to look at the door.]

...M-margaery?

[He calls tentatively]

Is that you?

[while Margaery remained confident to the end that in the end, everyone would come back. she didn't sink into despair for she had Hayden to look after and she wasn't afraid as she knew it was merely another trick of the so-called gods. they hold little power over her now.

but she'd understand that not everyone is as resilient as she. that's part of why she made the effort to go to Delmar's for she feared that the loss of everyone would come as a nasty shock to him. the other part is, he's her friend and she just plain wants to see him. when he calls out for him tentatively, she responds readily]

Yes, it's me! Would you let me in?

[It's as though the thought of opening the door hadn't immediately occurred to him and suddenly he's a bit flustered, trying to simultaneously close his book of crosswords as well as slip out from under the blankets. There's also an awkward moment of searching for his yellow slippers, but once he's wiggled his feet into them he's shuffling over to the door hurriedly.

I'm coming

[He calls before moments later opening the door]

[she certainly wouldn't want to fluster him! nor would she want to make him uncomfortable. she just wants to see her friend again after a week without his presence. she depends on him and his kindness to keep her kind, too. otherwise, it would be too easy to slip into King's Landing Margaery, the scheming, manipulating woman she'd been before. and then what would her friends think of her?]

All right, I'll wait out here!

[once he opens the door, she goes in for a hug]

Oh, Delmar! I've missed you so!

[He hugs back, holding on tight like he had when she had returned from the dead.]

I..I was afraid I would never see you again....

[It shows in the way his grip shakes a little and how obvious it is he's not looked after himself beyond having to eat and sleep.]

[she hugs him equally tightly, one hand rubbing his back]

It's the gods. The so-called gods pulled a particularly nasty trick on us. Still, I'm so very glad to see you again.

[she presses her cheek against his and feels the stubble, which is odd, and she can feel the trembling of his arms, which just makes her hold him even closer]

Were you alone too?

[His voice is small and he eagerly burrows into the hug]

No, I had Hayden with me. We looked after one another.

[she says soothingly, hand still rubbing his back]

[Laura has been worried about Delmar. she's noticed how he hasn't been talking much lately and she's noticed that his hours at the Bakery have lessened, though she hasn't really known how to approach him about it. she has her suspicions that he was weirded out by what happened last week but again, how was she supposed to ask him about it?

she is wearing the locket he gave her over her blouse and she's up to her elbows in dough, but she summons the nerve to flat-out ask]

Delmar? Are you okay?

Edited 2018-09-03 00:00 (UTC)

[Delmar is distractedly braiding dough for a pie crust when she asks and there's an awkward beat between the question and the moment he realizes that he's been asked something. A little flustered he looks up at her, eyes wide and confused]

What do you mean, Miss Laura?

[yikes. she hadn't wanted to fluster him, just get to the bottom of whatever it was which was bothering him and maybe help him feel a little better. not that she knows exactly how to do that, but the fact that she's willing to try is proof of how she's grown in Hadriel]

It's just. . . you've been acting kinda funny lately. Not funny as in "ha-ha" but funny as in I'm worried about you. You haven't been talking much and you've seemed kind of stuck in your head.

[His brows knit worriedly]

Stuck in my head?

[Strangely Delmar is a person who is simultaneously all too aware of himself and not self aware at all. Always he is aware of what space he takes in a room. Always he is nervous about being where someone doesn't want him. However he is not all that aware of his own actions. Those at times seem entirely disconnected from him]

I'm sorry...

Yeah, a little bit.

[and Laura can't help but be aware of her own actions, even when she was at her worst. which she isn't here. here has forced her to be better, mostly because the gods are such nonentities to her, she didn't even think about approaching them about getting cocaine. and random sex? most people seem to think she's too young for that here. nobody did back home]

You don't have to apologize. Just. If there's something bugging you, you can talk about it with me.

Edited 2018-09-09 01:32 (UTC)

....

[ 'If there is something bugging you'

His lower lip gets drawn beneath his top front teeth, gaze going to the sheen on the countertop.]

There's just been so much happening recently....and...maybe I just... I..... well......

[This one hit deep. And hard. And though he can't even grasp it at this point it sent him backwards towards someone he used to be.]

...Miss Laura....can I ask you something?

[she worries that she's pressed too far when she sees his reaction.

she nods] Yeah. It's been a crazy few months.

[which is an understatement. what with the move to the islands and last month's disappearing act, it's been a lot of stress piled on top of everyone]

Yeah, sure. What's the question?

If...if you could....would you want to go home? Back to where you came from?

[He braves a timid glance at her]

If I could? [she takes a long moment to consider] No. I'd go back to bad habits back home and there's a demon out there waiting to try to possess me. I'm better off staying here or finding another place to go.

[but the question makes her wonder]

What about you?

[the disappearance thing didn't really get to George. she's so used to the stupid gods and their stupid tricks that the only thing they really inspire in her these days is mild annoyance. which likely isn't any good for anyone, including George.

she'd like to think she knows Delmar fairly well. wouldn't exactly count herself as one of his besties, but George doesn't count herself as among anyone's besties. it's a thing.

so when he simply passes her by with a "Hello!" and doesn't stop and talk, she's vaguely confused. and follows along behind him, saying]

Hello, back. I'm fine today, how're you?

Edited 2018-09-02 23:49 (UTC)

[It's not a conscious decision, passing George with only a hello. It's an old ingrained habit that had, with the help of his friends in Hadriel, begun to fade away but had reared its head with events of the past week. So when she follows him he doesn't exactly realize that he's done anything unusual. Though something does feel...off. He just can't put his finger on it

He responds somewhat hesitantly]

Oh..well...I'm alright, Miss George.

[He slows so that he's not walking ahead of her. He doesn't want to be rude, and he has long legs.]

...it is good to see you again.

[And the words come with an awkward, but not unusual for Delmar, pat of her shoulder]

[hey, she's not one to judge people for falling back into old habits. she's constantly fighting the urge to be as antisocial and misanthropic as she'd been in Seattle. it's hard sometimes and last week's events made her want to retreat into being an awkward turtle again, but she's fighting it. or at least trying to. see also: the reason why she reacted the way she did to Delmar's simple greeting.

she falls in alongside him and smiles a little awkwardly]

Glad to hear you're all right. And it's good to see you, too.

[she's cool with awkward pats on the shoulder. that's the only way she'd be able to manage them, either]

What've you been up to?

Me? Not very much....

[He wrings his hands a little]

...Oh! Well...I was on my way to find new shaving cream....

[He shyly points at where fuzz has begun to grow along his jawline. Entirely uncharacteristic for him Delmar had not shaved after everyone had disappeared, so for the first time in many many years he actually has stubble. And he does not like it.]

And what about you, Miss George? How are you after all that awfulness with everyone going away?

[she notices the wringing hands, but chooses to not bring them up]

Oh. Well, I could help you with that?

[there is indeed stubble along his jawline. she's always known him to be clean-shaven, though, so it's a little weird. which is probably why he wants the shaving cream? obviously, right?]

I'm doing okay. Didn't really spend my time with the people I was stuck with, I spent most of the time reading and listening to CDs. What about you?

[Tinya has never been to the Bakery before. she's never been a lot of places here before. but she knows that keeping herself locked in her apartment won't do much to settle the near overwhelming feeling of loneliness she's had ever since she arrived.

so she's going new places. trying new things. attempting to be social in hopes that she manages to get a social life to make do in this place until the Legion finds her. she hopes the time comes soon. no offense meant to anyone here, but she just wants to go home.

but a bakery sounds nice. so the fifteen year old girl puts on a smile, pushes open the door, and approaches the counter]

Hello. What would you recommend?

[Delmar is arranging some artificial flowers in a vase on the counter but he hurriedly stops when a customer walks in. He smiles at her with a genuine but tired warmth.]

Hello there!

[His hands clasp together at his chest]

Well...let's see...what sort of sweets do you like?

[she smiles back warmly. and the flowers are cute. it's too bad they don't have any for fresh-cut flowers around here, but the tree situation being what it is, she supposes that flowers are low on the list of priorities]

My name is Tinya. I'm new here.

[she places her hands on the counter]

I like chocolate a lot. I wasn't sure if we had any here or not. I couldn't find any in the stores.

Very nice to meet you, Miss Tinya. I'm Delmar. And don't you worry about being new, we'll all look out for you and you're always welcome here at the bakery.

[He nods earnestly as he says it then holds up a finger]

And I do still have some chocolate left. We don't get it often but I make awful sure to save it when it does.

[And he places that same finger at the back of the display case, now pointing to different items]

Soooo. We have a chocolate cookie and a couple of fruits dipped in chocolate....

[The options are more sparse now, given the depletion of supplies while everyone had been gone, but he'll work to fix that right away]

It's a pleasure to meet you, Delmar. And, thank you. I appreciate hearing that. Everyone's been so nice!

[she inspects the case eagerly]

I think I'll have to go with the fruits dipped in chocolate. Chocolate and fresh fruit seem like they're going to be hard to find.

[she folds her hands on top of the display case, looking eager]

Wonderful! Now you just wait a minute while I get that on a plate for you....

[He turns, drawing a lip between his teeth]

...oh they are around here somewhere...oh! [He spots the stack of small dishes on the opposite counter] There we are.

[And after a couple of minutes he holds out a plate to her with the chocolate covered fruit]

You can eat them here or you can take them home with you. If you take them home I only ask that you please bring back the plate next time you come in

All right. I'll be patient.

[and she stands at the counter, looking eager]

I'll eat them here, then. Not that it would be hard to get back here, I could always just fly over and bring it back, but it looks too good to wait for.

[and she picks up what looks like a chocolate covered raspberry, pops it into her mouth, chews slowly, shutting her eyes, and swallows, opening her eyes back up again]

Delmar, that was delicious!

[Outside of Michael and Hayden, Delmar is the first person Harlan checks on after the event. He has plenty of people he wants to see, but he's been worried about Del. Harlan knows how he gets about being alone for too long. He can only hope that Del was stuck with good people who took care of him.

But Delmar isn't home when Harlan shows up at his apartment. Harlan has the composure to knock politely for about a minute before his worry overcomes him and he lets himself in. Of course, he immediately expects the worst: Delmar is dead, Delmar was sent home by the Door, Delmar is still stuck in Fear's shitty illusion. After a moment of panic, he forces himself to think rationally. No, more likely is that Delmar is down at the bakery, or at the sewing shop, or literally anywhere but dead or dying. He's probably fine. There is no reason why he wouldn't be fine.

Harlan spots him eventually, meandering down the rocky beach near his spire, absorbed in a book as he walks. The sight of him alone and draped in his big coat is oddly painful. Didn't he used to take walks on the beach like this at home?]

Delmar! Hey!

[He calls down the beach to his friend. Fuck wasting any more time on being upset about shit.]

[Delmar doesn't hear him immediately, the wind buffeting the sound of Harlan's voice but after a moment he slows then finally stops, turning with book still held up near his chest to look around hesitantly. Did he really just hear Harlan?

He did!

Delmar, jaw unshaven for the first time ever in Hadriel, stands staring at Harlan in disbelief for a long time before awkwardly trying to quick step in his directly, a action made difficult by the pebbles and sand underfoot]

H-harley???

[Oh boy, look at this dramatic beach reunion they're about to have. This is some romance novel shit right here. Harlan feels a little silly, but he does jog over to meet Delmar halfway. The poor guy is really struggling in the sand.

When they manage to close the gap between them, Harlan skips ahead and wraps Delmar in a big hug. He knows his friend needs it, and that he probably wouldn't ask for it because he knows how Harlan is. Truth be told, even though the action makes his heart rate shoot up, a hug wouldn't be the worst thing right now. It's been a hell of a week.]

Are you okay?

[His face is a little buried in Delmar's shoulder—Harlan typically enjoys being shorter than average, but it does make hugs awkward—but he'll hang on for as long as Del needs.]

[The desperate collision with Harlan knocks a little bit of breath out of him but he couldn't care less and the fact that it takes a moment for Delmar to find a comfortable place to settle his arms around Harlan, the book now awkwardly clutched in one hand adding to the dilemma, doesn't take away a single ounce of the relief he feels now that he's holding onto his friend for dear life.

But despite his undoubtable relief, there is also the twist of something unpleasant in his stomach as though someone were about to snatch Harlan away right then and there.

It's unfair, he knows, to have pinned so much importance on Harlan. They'd talked about this. The way Delmar holds him up on a pedestal. His happiness, his ability to keep going shouldn't be Harlan's responsibility. Or Michael's. Or Margaery's. Or Julie's... but what he'd found in the past week was it had unthreaded. The person he is when his friends are there, a Delmar who takes chances, who makes friends, who owns a bakery and believes he's capable of doing things....that is what goes away when his friends go away.

And Harlan had been the catalyst for that Delmar. From the very beginning.

The truth is that Delmar can keep going. He always had. He always will. Trudging along the beach at the start and end of the day marking the passage of time with little to show for it aside from the fact that he'd simply gotten older. But nonetheless he'd keep going.

It was only a question of which Delmar.

So now he feels a rift in himself. The old Delmar and the new. And although everything is ok now. Harlan is here. No one is hurt. It doesn't feel ok. But he can't even begin to know how to express any of that. So he just holds on tight, the 'no' implicit in his silence]

Edited 2018-09-07 06:21 (UTC)

[Harlan sighs, the non-answer telling him enough. It's to be expected, but it still hurts. He hates to think of Delmar stuck in this shithole all by himself. Yeah, he probably had people with him, but they weren't his people. Harlan knows how Delmar can be with strangers. He's the type of person who takes a long time to warm up to a new crowd, to change, and uprooting his whole life like that...

Harlan thinks about when he and Delmar first met, how his friend-to-be was cowering on the ground like a lost puppy. Was it that all over again? God.]

Yeah, same here.

[He squeezes Delmar again. It's a touch uncomfortable, this hugging thing, and not just because of his anxiety—pressing two bodies together is just uncomfortable business. But he'll stay. It's worth it. He's not sure he could wriggle out of Delmar's vice grip without the help of magic, anyway.]

Have you talked to anyone else? I think the town's back to normal. Michael and Hayden are both fine.

["Fine", but, you know.]

[He shakes his head first, face pressed at an awkward angle against Harlan's shoulder before he finally raises it just enough so Harlan can hear him]

No. N-No I haven't.

[Before James and Catherine had moved in next door, Delmar had never reached out to anyone. Never tried to include himself anywhere. But when James and Catherine...well in retrospect mostly Catherine...had begun to be kind to him he would find little ways of getting near to them. Of trying to connect. Needing sugar for baking, or bringing over coupons he got in the mail he thought they might use... but after James' arrest and his death soon after... well.... Delmar didn't knock on the door anymore.

In Hadriel, Delmar had begun again to reach out his hand. Leaving baked goods outside of Harlan's apartment, running the bakery...

...but then after this spate of disappearances he didn't contact anyone. Even though he knew people were back, the possibility that maybe the people he wanted back might not be there to open their doors to him was too overwhelming.]

Harley [He finally steps back just enough to allow a little air between them, but one hand remains steady on Harlan's upper arm.] ....where did you go?

[He hates himself for it, but Harlan is relieved when Delmar pulls away. It's nice to have room to breathe. He shifts his weight slightly, trying to shake himself out without being obvious about it. It feels good to be able to move freely after an embrace like that. It makes for a quicker recovery.

He lets Delmar keep a hand on him. He can afford that, though he feels like he should be doing something in return... Casual physical affection is so lost on him that it's bordering on pathetic.

He shakes off that thought, too. There are more important things to worry about right now.]

I was still here in town. I don't think any of us ever left. It was just an illusion put on by the gods. We all thought we were stuck in a deserted city, but we weren't. It wasn't real.

[It's fortunate (fortunate???) that Hayden doesn't really need much prompting to start an interaction. It's been hard trying to figure out exactly what to do with himself since everyone disappeared and then came back again. He feels more twitchy than normal, checking over his shoulder as if to determine if anything has suddenly changed.

It wasn't really an instinct he had to check on all of his friends and loved ones when Hadriel went back to normal. Hayden tends to take things as they come, assuming each day to be the new and permanent reality. He tries, poorly, to adapt. Still, he continues to miss everyone there has possibly been to miss until they appear before him again, so when he passes Delmar on the street, it's all he can do to let out a surprised and relieved cry.

Wordlessly, he leaps for him, wrapping his arms around the man and holding on tightly.]

[Hayden always manages to catch Delmar by surprise but in this instance it's almost a blessing. The cry, the sudden hug, it immediately distracts Delmar from whatever else he might have been thinking or feeling and suddenly everything is focused on Hayden, on the fact that he is here, and on the need to hug back.]

Oh! Hayden....

[He bends so that he can hug him better]

...I have missed you very much.

[Hayden doesn't make any indication that he plans on letting go anytime soon as Delmar adjusts his position. He whines and sniffles, but to his credit he doesn't start wailing in the middle of the street...yet. There's still time, given his track record.]

I am very happy that you are here! Nothing would be the same without you!

[Delmar doesn't mind, rarely is he ever one to end a hug when it is so freely and enthusiastically given, and given everything that has happened the past week, he needs the hug just as much.]

I feel the same way, Hayden...

[He pats the boy's back gently, trying to be reassuring]

Are you alright? Were you safe?

Yes. I don't like being alone...but nothing bad happened.

[And he was fortunate to have found himself with a couple friendly faces.]

Were you okay? Are you okay now? Do you need more soup?

When she sees him walking ahead of her along the beach, it feels very much as if something inside her just grew a little lighter. She quickens her steps and despite the vast difference in their heights and strides catches up to him fairly quickly, sneaking her hand into the crook of his arm.

"Hey, grandpa." It still feels funny to call him that. Funny, but nice. She presses her cheek against the side of his arm for a moment.

"You okay?"

The wind prevents him from hearing her footsteps so when she catches his arm it gives him a little start, but that soon settles down when he realizes who it is and what is happening. He brings up his other hand to lightly settle over hers for a moment.

"Oh, Julie, it is awfully good to see you."

He then pats her knuckles affectionately before letting that hand fall away again, content to just walk arm and arm like this.

"Did you stay safe? Were you with kind people? Oh do tell me you weren't alone, Julie..."

"I was safe." It's important to assure him of that in the very least, she thinks. He worries far too much as it is, and she pats his arm reassuringly before humming at the rest of what he asks, pursing her lips for a moment.

"Someone I know was around, but... I didn't really go out or anything."

Julie shrugs slightly. There hadn't seemed much point in raging against what was happening, and what could she have achieved if she'd done that? She'd been a little lonely and a little hungry for a week, but all in all, she hadn't suffered terribly. It could have been worse.

"I figured it was just the gods being shitty again, so I waited it out." Never mind how unnerving it got as days passed and nothing changed. "But I'm glad everyone's back."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You Were As Much in My Hands... (Open)

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(cw: drug mention, sex)

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/puts on the Whitney Houston music

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