hadriel_logs | my heart is a furnace

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my heart is a furnace

Who: Fox and Caedra (edit: plus whoever's here for the fallout!)
What: For all Caedra's done to make the residents of Hadriel suffer, Fox takes revenge.
Where: The north island
When: Post-monster event, nighttime
Warnings: Violence, body horror, mentions of character death, allusions to childhood abuse.

It's a dangerous plan. Fox knows it is, but he knows he's all out of other options. So with the ring given to him by Rage hanging around his neck, and his katana in hand, the masked teenager has to face the confrontation that's been eating away at him for months. He hasn't even sent a calling card-- he's not stealing a heart this time, and while this may be about justice, he's acting alone, not on the behest of the Phantom Thieves.

It takes time to track down Caedra: her movements are unpredictable, and it's made all the more difficult by the city being split into islands, and by his preference to move under the cover of darkness. After a few nights of unsuccessful searching, he manages to track her down to one of the rocky beaches where they're surrounded by sea -- where there's nowhere for her to run except to the water, or through him.

He steels himself, and emerges from the shadows, eyes bright with anger behind his kitsune mask.

"Caedra! Your cruelty ends here."

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"I get that a lot. It's not always a good thing, from the sounds of it." He laughs a little again, running his thumb over Yusuke's knuckles.

"Do be careful with what you say, though. I might just end up never leaving, ah? Is there room in that bed for me, young Kitagawa?"

Yusuke seems to take that literally, because he glances across the bed, as though sizing it up. "Perhaps if I move over?"

With a wince, he moves to scoot himself over to the left side of the bed, so Ianchus can sit on it by his uninjured side if he wants.

"Ah--no, no no no, please, stay still." Ianchus winces sympathetically, looking over the bandages again, furrowing his brows. "Please. Try not to move much. That's...that's a very large injury, isn't it. Are there any others?" Again, he searches what he can say, his expression laced through with concern.

Yusuke frowns and stops trying to move, realising belatedly that he'd seemingly misunderstood the request. He doesn't want to worry Ianchus any more than he has, after all.

"Just the one." Had she managed to land more blows on him, he's sure he'd almost certainly be dead.

"What kind of injury is it?"
Almost automatically, Ianchus reaches for the pitcher next to Yusuke's bedside, pouring him a glass of water and offering it to him. Thank goodness for small favors, at least.

Yusuke takes the drink with a shaky grip, taking a few small, steady sips. "A cut. Law-san treated it swiftly; I'm grateful to him."

Grateful and cautious all at the same time, when he half expects to be betrayed the moment Caedra returns, but he can't mention that particular predicament aloud here in the clinic. He offers the glass back to Ianchus.

"A cut..." Ianchus takes the glass back, looking at the bandages. "Did it...did it get infected?" For Yusuke to look so sick, he definitely expects a poison, or an infection. "How long have you been in here?"

Yusuke says nothing to that first question, gaze sliding away again. He can remember it all too clearly, having to watch, without being put to sleep, as Law removed a huge chunk of rotting flesh...

The second question is a little easier to answer. "About a day or so, I think." He can't be sure, when spending most of it sleeping has made it harder to track the time, but that seems roughly correct. "He told me it will take time before I can move."

A day...then it hadn't been an injury sustained while the monsters rampaged. And not nearly long enough to get an infection in this climate. And that meant...
"Poison? Then...someone poisoned you?"

Even as he talks, his fingertips abruptly come up to his own lips, something flickering in his eyes as his mind works. Ianchus isn't exactly suspicious by nature, but he has a perverse love for intrigue. And now his brain is trying to put together something that is just at the edges, as he stares at Yusuke.

Yusuke shakes his head, expression becoming strained again as he watches. That Ianchus seems to want to puzzle this out is worrying.

"I'm sorry. I truly cannot tell you..."

Ianchus is staring somewhat past him, his eyes widening a little. He can hear the strain in Yusuke's voice, from much more than the injury.

"Yusuke..."

He wouldn't be like this, he thinks, if it was something incidental.

"Are you not telling me...for my protection?"

Yusuke says nothing, fixing his gaze at the floor. 'I want to protect you' -- he'd already let that slip, and he can't trust himself to say more without revealing everything.

The silence, though, is plenty. Ianchus stares at Yusuke, then at the bandages (so similar to how his own had been, and hadn't it been his flank that had been injured?). He remembers the anonymous announcement over the network, just as he remembers Yusuke's words from before ("why won't anyone do</> anything?"). He remembers what's on the North Island. He remembers...

His voice is soft as he speaks, eyes never leaning Yusuke's face.
"You're responsible for Caedra."

Yusuke's gaze flickers across the room, checking there's no one around to listen in. Then back to Ianchus, expression hardened. There's no guilt or remorse there, except perhaps regret that Ianchus had figured him out. Perhaps letting him stay was a mistake after all... Or perhaps he would have figured it out sooner or later on his own, anyway.

"I made a deal with Rage. If I could have contained her for longer, I would have." Perhaps the city would be less hysterical, if he'd given them longer to formulate a response. Two months, six, a year. No doubt the sacrifice needed for that kind of power would have been far too great, however.

"You--"

For a moment, everything freezes, and then there's a crash--Ianchus is standing, and the chair he was just on has been knocked over, skidding a little. Ianchus' body is tense, and for how much he can't stand Rage, he's radiating it right now. His hands are tensed, his chest tight, his eyes wide and both fixed on Yusuke and staring through him.

And then a moment later, he seems to catch himself--he opens his mouth to say something, but all that comes out is an agonized "Shit!!

Ianchus abruptly turns around, burrowing both hands in his hair.

"Ianchus--" Yusuke is taken aback by that intensely angry reaction, sitting up as if to reach out to him. Yet he can't reach him, wincing and clutching his side.

"Stay still!" He whirls on Yusuke, his expression both angry and anguished. "Just...just stay still."

He hates feeling like this, he hates that he even has the capacity to feel like this, hates the way it digs into his breast like so many fingers. Ianchus grinds his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut, putting his hand over his eyes--he's not even sure why he's angry. At Yusuke? At Caedra? At himself? At the situation? At the wound in Yusuke's side, at what he knows is under it, at the fact that Yusuke had taken all this upon himself, and what if he had died, and what if he had awoken in that cold temple alone, with likely nobody to know where he was, and Yusuke, who is not nearly deserving, would have had to walk back, alone, alone.

"You...couldn't even tell me you were planning this. You had to do this all alone. You don't even like or trust the Gods." He knows that's not even what's bothering him. He can't understand this.

"I'll kill her," He mumbles impotently.

Yusuke flinches, both at the raw anger in Ianchus's voice and the white hot pain that lances up his side. In the time that he's known Ianchus, he's never known him to get angry like this. If he could just do something to calm him down...

But doing something had got him into this situation in the first place, hadn't it? He goes still and lies back, frustrated by his inability to reach his friend.

"I took this on myself for a reason. There are still things I haven't told you-- about myself," Yusuke says, weakly. He doubts more revelations will be any consolation, but if he can just get Ianchus to understand, instead of being so dreadfully angry... "Please listen. You can't kill her."

"I know that," he snarls, and then quickly turns his face away, hiding it behind his forearm again, hating, hating the feeling.

"I know that. Damnit, I know!" He kicks the chair hard, pain lancing up his foot--but at least it focuses him. He follows it and picks it up, righting it, his neck flushed in shame at his outbursts, His hands are clenched on the back of it, his emotions swirling confusingly.

I couldn't protect you. You didn't ask me. Ah, but that's not my affair anyways--but it is, it is! Ah, but I'm not worth it--and how dare she!

Edited 2018-10-23 01:22 (UTC)

Ianchus kicking the chair makes him flinch again, and he turns his face away. His anger is unlike anything he's seen from his friend before, and it's hard to watch. This is what he's done to him. Even with the best of intentions, even trying to protect him, has made him more deeply unhappy than he could have ever imagined.

Was it worth it?

He buries his face in his hands, as though to hide himself away until Ianchus's anger has subsided. He'd hidden himself away from Madarame's temper in a similar fashion as a child, sequestered in his room as his teacher had screamed and lashed out in another room, burrowed in his futon with the covers pulled over his head, and the ugly, sick feeling he's left with in the pit of his stomach now is all too similar. The smallest trace of fear for Ianchus -- fear of Ianchus? -- coiled there.

Please stop, is what he wants to say. As though he has the right to ask anything of him, after what he's done.

And finally it does subside, and Ianchus slowly sinks into the seat, his head in his hands, his heart pounding disgustingly in his throat. With all the ways he lives his life, it's this anger that makes him feel unclean, like he's a monster. Where does it come from? It's rare, but it comes boiling up when he least expects it.

Finally he speaks: "I'm s-sorry. I stepped out of line." He looks up at Yusuke, then looks away, ashamed.

"I'm sorry. I should leave."

Once Ianchus sits back down Yusuke lowers his hands, the feeling of having swallowed something unpleasant stuck in his throat. Relieved, at least, that whatever happened to Ianchus just now seems to be subsiding.

"...Please don't," he says, softly. "Stay, and let's talk about this."

Ianchus clenches his teeth, his hands balled into fists on his thighs, his brow furrowed. There's still hints of that angst there, but there's also deep sadness.

"Why didn't you tell me. Why did you have to go through it alone. If...if you had told me, we could have... you shouldered that burden alone."

"I thought you would try to dissuade me," he replies, looking away. "Worse, I thought you might intervene, placing you in the danger I sought to keep you from. You don't have that kind of power to stand against her."

Ianchus closes his eyes, a pained smile coming across his face.
"You're right. That's what I probably would have done...ah, Yusuke, you're too smart."
That's said tenderly--not as a rebuke but as a compliment.

Gingerly he reaches for Yusuke's hand again.
"But it's not over. The announcement--ah, that was you, then--you said she'd only be incapacitated for a month."

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