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Who: Mariane Cousland and The Dog
What: Two Hadrielites meet up for a talk
Where: The Range
When: Current
Warnings: None

[there were still very few people Mariane felt close to. she'd always had a difficult time letting people in due to her melancholy. the time of the Blight was different, being forced in such close quarters with others.

this place was different. it was possible to hide herself away with only Chance for company. deep down, she knew she shouldn't do that, that she should be trying to reach out to others more. but taking that first step was difficult.

so she went out with Chance to the range. she'd heard that the Dog frequented it and she'd genuinely enjoyed their earlier conversation. she was hoping to run into him there and hoping that their conversation would go as well as their earlier one had]

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There is no leaving?

[Her mistress is the Abhorsen in waiting, and a Remembrancer, but the Dog knows that had Lirael so chosen, she could have backed out. It won't be an easy path all the time, but she will do good in the world.]

The Grey Wardens? No. My blood is tainted by the Darkspawn and there's no cure. Within the next thirty years, the taint will overcome my body's ability to fight it and I'll have no choice but to head to the Deep Roads and die fighting as many darkspawn as I can. Or simply take my own life. There are no other options.

[and that is why she hates being a Grey Warden. no choice but to die absurdly young, possibly no chance of ever bearing a child. and she misses having choices]

Darkspawn? What exactly is that?

[The Dog knows that Free Magic can taint individuals, although she is completely unfamiliar with anything like what she is describing.]

According to Chantry legend, darkspawn were created when magisters of the Tevinter Imperium gained enough magic and power to breach the Fade and seek to unseat the Maker of all.

The magisters stormed the Golden City, the seat of the Maker, but their sin corrupted it and turned it from golden to black. The magisters were cast back down to Thedas as the first darkspawn, but not the last.

Their numbers swelled to the tens of thousands and they have only one goal: to seek out and corrupt an Old God, transforming it into an Archdemon to lead them to the surface and cause a Blight.

Darkspawn are largely mindless killers who corrupt the ground they stand upon, the water they drink, and the people unfortunate enough to not simply be killed. Blight sickness is uncurable and it eventually drives a person mad, making them a mindless servant to the darkspawn.

[and she'll never be free of them]

[She takes a moment to absorb that, or to absorb it as much as she can. She would need to learn far more to have it make better sense, but that it is something that will change her life is clear.]

I am sorry to hear that. I hope it does not happen for a long time.

[she doesn't pray, not anymore, but she can't help but hope that the darkspawn never find their way here]

...it did happen. In Ferelden, my home country. It ended two weeks before I came here.

[She gave a little step forward, brushing her nose against Mariane's hand.]

[she jumps slightly when she feels the Dog's nose brush against her, but she reaches out with a trembling hand to place it on the Dog's head and pet gently]

...thank you. For your kindness.

It is not something you need to thank.

[Twisting to give a little lick along her wrist, before twisting her head back, to her her hand rest back on the top of her head.]

In this world, it is.

[she smiles at the Dog's kindness and gently pets her head. she misses her companions desperately and has been in need of a little kindness]

Then you're more than welcome.

[With complete earnestness to her voice.]

How do you--[she pauses]--how do you stay so kind with all that goes on around us?

[she hears it and appreciates it. she also continues petting her head gently]

[And that is a question that the Dog doesn't actually know how to answer. It takes her a moment to think it over, those eyes that are rich brown and warm, and yet seemingly so ancient as well. There is a lot that she has seen, and plenty more that she has forgotten since she first came in to being, since she gave a part of herself up for the Charter.]

I suppose that is how I always have been.

[she watches with dark eyes, eyes that have seen far too much pain and trouble and death for her sixteen years. eyes that had been hoping for an end to the suffering with her marriage to Alistair, but has seen that day deferred by her time here]

You are fortunate. I try to be kind, to reach out to others here, but it's difficult to judge who will react well.

I suppose it is not how they act that matters, but how you act.

[Be who she desires to be, to be kind, and don't let any cruelties of others bring her down.]

[she sounds near tears] The problem is that I am the Warden. I could show no weakness, no hesitation. If I did, all would be lost. And after spending a year as the Warden, I don't know how to let it go.

[she brings her hand back to knot it with the other, worrying them both in place]

Are Wardens supposed to know everything?

[Because the Dog would say that that was more than a little sily in her opinion.]

No, but--it was a Blight. Only the Grey Wardens can end a Blight and there were but two of us in all of Ferelden.

[and Alistair was too grief-stricken, too haunted by the ghosts of his own bloodline to lead]

And are Wardens supposed to be wooden and unfeeling?

[One ear perking forward ever so.]

Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with weakness, so long as you do not let the weakness hold you back.

I . . . do not know. I have only ever met three Grey Wardens. Two of them were focused on ending the Blight at any cost. They're now dead. The third [her cheeks flush] is very emotional. We were to be wed before I came here.

[in this moment, she looks every bit as young as she is]

I was afraid that if I gave in to the weakness, I wouldn't be able to what needed to be done.

[Another little boop of her nose against her hand.]

I think you should believe in yourself more. Chance chose you after all, no?

[she smiles slightly when the Dog does so]

He--he did. And I did it. I ended the Blight. I became a legend. [a pause] I don't know how I feel about that.

[And look, a lick.]

See? So saying hello to strangers should be a simple task. Hello, and if they respond back, then there you go. They can't be more scary than this Blight of yours.

[awww! she smiles sweetly]

I suppose. Though, I must admit, I didn't have the time to be afraid during the Blight. Not until the very end when it was time for face the Archdemon.

Because you didn't have the time to think about it, to get in your own head. We tend to be our own worst enemies.

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(cw: suicide)

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