[closed] and since we've one place to go

[nonscriptum]

Who: Nathan Drake, Elena Fisher, Agent Washington, Agent Maine, Kyna Midha, Staci Pratt, Poe Dameron, Taako Taaco, Lup Taaco, Peter Parker
What: Nate leads a polar expedition out to the mountains.
Where: Out on the tundra; at an undisclosed excavation site in the foothills.
When: February 1-14
Warnings: PG-13+ for swearing, descriptions of dead bodies/science torture. :(




[source]

WELCOME TO SNOW HELL

the journey | the door | the bunker | the lab

Comments

[theweakhavepurpose]

No I know. I .. uh...

Sorry.

[Yeah, sorry. Because apologizing definitely makes all this shit go away. Ha ha. Maybe no one will notice that he's a fucking basket case who might snap and kill everyone.]

I shouldn't have come on this trip.

[He sounds regretful, because honestly? Up until this point? He'd almost been having... fun.]

[nonscriptum]

No.

[Nate is sure to be insistent with it, following the way that Pratt's eye contact shifts ceaselessly around him rather than on him. Trying to read the tension is like trying to solve a code where he only has half the information, but he's done more with less.]

No, it was good that you came, Pratt. Don't apologize. It's my fault, okay?

[There's truth in that. None of these people would have been subjected to what was down there if he hadn't invited them in the first place.]

Sit down with me for a sec, all right?

[theweakhavepurpose]

How is this your fault? You didn't do any of this.

[Nate didn't know what they would find out here, and he definitely isn't the one who tortured some creatures into submission. He's not really sure why Nate even feels responsible about this.

In fact it's Pratt's fault for being so damn weak that he's even letting it effect him.

Be strong.]

I'm trying!

[Hissed out at the empty air and not towards Nate at all. Certainly not a response to anything he said.

Trying isn't good enough. Be stronger. Now.

Pratt straightens up and takes a deep breath.]

I don't need to sit down. It's okay. We need to decide what to do about this place. It looks abandoned but they.. they might come back.

[Yes good, focus on the present. Rational. Emotionless. Strong.]

[nonscriptum]

I brought us here.

[Nate doesn't even hesitate to clarify, because he's been feeling this overwhelming guilt and dread since the first few team members became privy to what was in that footage. But his words don't sink in, they don't register, because Pratt is hissing to himself as if he's having an argument with someone who isn't there.

Nate was drugged once, manipulated into giving up information he would have otherwise kept to himself. Drifting in a confusing haze of disorientation he had followed someone else's orders because it felt right, having something reassuring whispered in his ear, encouragement for the candor while he thought he talked to himself.

He has severe doubts about the claim that he's okay, that this is okay. It shows on Nate's face. Situating himself between Pratt and the group he lowers his voice, brow furrowed.]

...is there something you wanna tell me?

[theweakhavepurpose]

We all agreed to come.

[he was listening, even through all that, by now used to carrying on two conversations at once. Well... normally not conversations, but purposefully ignoring whatever his brain is telling him to do because it's usually wrong and awful and implanted there by Jacob. Having a full on conversation is new and will be kind of alarming when Pratt is rational enough to think about this without all the added stressors of the expedition.

One of those being the compulsion to act fine and normal even when he most assuredly is neither of those things.]

No. No it's okay.

[But is it? He looks away, setting his jaw as he thinks about that. Shut up Jacob.]

Okay it's not fine, especially with all this shit we just found. But no, I don't wanna talk about it.

[nonscriptum]

[Nate's aware of the signs. Having spent the better part of his life in denial, being fairly consistent about lying to himself, it isn't difficult to recognize those things in someone else. Takes one to know one.

He admits that things aren't good, and that's a start. Hands up, placating, Nate doesn't mean to push.]

Okay. Okay, we don't have to talk about it.

[Nate watches the tension cling to every muscle fiber in Pratt's body.]

I just wanna make sure you can keep it together, 'cause I've- listen, I've been there. Pretending you're good's gonna make it worse.

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'm not going to snap.

[He's pretty certain of that anyway. If he was going to he would have by now. Since he's been here he's come close once, but managed to pull himself back. He doesn't feel like that now - like he's losing control and the conditioning is taking over. Honestly he feels a little.. hollow. Like he should be having more of a reaction than this.]

It might make it worse eventually but it'll make it better right now. And that's what we need.

[He'll have his breakdown in private when they get back thank you.]

Don't worry about me. It'll be okay.

[nonscriptum]

[He isn't trying to insinuate that Pratt is going to crack and murder all of them, but go into shock? Stop communicating? Maybe. There are more effective ways of compartmentalizing really unfortunate emotions than shutting them away, and it took Nate way too long to learn that.

It might make it worse eventually. Not exactly a stellar endorsement.]

Yeah, I've heard that one before. [His tone is sympathetic, at least - no judgment, just experience.] I know this is all pretty fucked up. Just go easy on yourself, okay?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah I will. I'm more trying to figure out where we go from here. Prevent this from being a problem later.

The null experimentation I mean. Not me being a basket case.

[He groans and rubs his eyes with his palms.]

You know what, I'm just going to stop talking.

[nonscriptum]

[ Pratt is really starting to remind Nate of himself in terms of giving pep talks to no one in particular, but he understands the spirit behind it. ]

We'll have time to think on it before we get back to the city. Deciding what to do's gonna be a group effort.

[ There's a considering pause and he gently, sincerely squeezes one of Pratt's shoulders again. ]

...but seriously, if you do need to talk. You know where to find me.

[theweakhavepurpose]

It's gonna be a fun trek home isn't it?

[He can imagine the week long trip in complete silence as everyone dwells on what they've seen here. How fun. He sighs, actually looking at Nate instead of concentrating on the floor or staring blankly off into space like normal. He seems genuine which is .. a little shocking, not that Nate seemed like he'd say things just to say them -but even after being here for half a year Pratt isn't used to people actually caring. ]

Thanks. I... might.

[Which is saying a lot.]

[nonscriptum]

Yyyyyeah, it's gonna suck.

[ Nate agrees, but not without humor. No sense in blunting the emotional knives they're already being stabbed with, and he figures Pratt would prefer honesty to pandering. ]

Hang in there.