like a wildfire;

[spazzed]

Who: keith, shiro, lance, allura
What: catch-all for shenanigans during february
Where: casa voltron, possibly other places, who even knows
When: all month
Warnings: nothing just yet but will be updated as needed!

Comments

[marmoron]

[When they briefly lock eyes, Keith nervously bites the inside of his lip. It doesn't have to be a mistake, no. It's almost like the sentiments been ripped right out of his own head for him to listen to in Lance's soft voice and it's hard not to be coaxed into nodding in agreement.

It's an oversimplification though, isn't it? Lance is... was (?) ... always so much more interested in girls and though it's obvious that this was never as black and white as Keith had always thought it was based purely on the fact that Lance is being so tender right now instead of running off screaming, it still trips him up for a moment.

But that's nothing more than a distraction and Keith knows that. If he keeps the questions focused on Lance, it means he doesn't have to question what's going on with himself. Because some things just hurt when you think about them for too long. The way things had presumably ended forever between him and Natalie because he got caught up in a different universe. The reminder that even his time with the paladins in Hadriel is all subject to the whims of some capricious gods and a door they can't control.

How do you willingly open yourself up to being vulnerable under these situations? Has he not fucking learned anything? Keith looks away for a moment, unable to answer immediately.

Everything comes to an end. The only person you can rely on is yourself. These were things he'd learned so many years ago. Things he had to unlearn during his time with the paladins. Things he'd readopted somewhere between realities and something his friends at Cartesio had made him unlearn yet again.

Feeling connected to other people, knowing exactly who he is and being embraced for who he is by the people around him -- all of that is worth fighting for. It's worth every bruise and every graze. Keith knew that, even if he hadn't exactly been the best at showing it or applying it to his life here.

Maybe if he's being entirely honest with Lance, part of him feels sick opening up, taking a chance. But he does know that it won't deter him from trying to be that close again.]

I don't want it to be. [There's a ghost of a smile behind those words. His voice is quiet as he leans in closer until the very tips of their noses brush.] I.. maybe this isn't the right time. Maybe we should talk about it later when we've cleared out heads more, but...

[Moving forward, Keith closes the tiny gap between their lips to leave a chaste kiss.]

[spazzed]

( things have always been different with keith; it's never been black and white in his own mind, but varying shades of gray that he never understood because in the beginning they were always fighting ( because he instigated ) and later it was the tentative sort of friendship they could have had much, much sooner if he hadn't gone and done all of that instigating.

but there's always been some underlying thing that he's never allowed himself to touch on, to think about, because he's always been convinced he would end up falling flat on his face if he even so much as tried to broach the subject with the other.

and then keith had left for the blades, and he'd somehow managed to put it out of his mind because as the old saying goes, out of sight, out of mind but that's never been that simple, either. he'd thought. and thought. and thought some more until he'd finally gotten so frustrated with himself over it that he'd refused to let it bother him.

it hadn't worked, but. most of what he plans never works out anyway, so it's just par for the course.

what all of this means at the end of it is that keith is never far from his thoughts at any given time; what they'd been given by the gods had only been something of an extension of what lance had thought he wanted, still thinks he wants even though he knows they have to be careful because emotions are still running high and it would be entirely too easy to make a mistake.

even if none of this feels like that. there's still something hollow in his chest that aches at the thought of leaving this room, because there's a niggling thought in the back of his mind that insists and insists and insists that once he does, nothing is ever going to be the same and he might be clinging to what's already been lost as it is.

he just. doesn't want to lose this.

he breathes out a small sound when their noses touch, the softness of keith's voice and he can't help but lean into it, knowing that he needs to say something back but then there are lips against his and he's leaning into that, as much as he can in that tiny space and that thing in his chest aches a little more. because this is familiar.

and he wants it to stay that way.

he pulls back because he still needs to say something, though he hesitates because the words are stuck in the back of his throat, and he wants keith to kiss him again, and so many other things that he can't pinpoint just one. ) I'm okay with later. ( he knows they need to talk, get things out in the open and define what lines there are to cross … or not cross, as the case may be. ) I know we should. We should talk. ( but.

he leans back in, presses a small kiss to the center of keith's top lip, another chaste thing in its own right. ) But can we — ( he pauses again, swallows again, nuzzling keith's nose with his own. ) Can we stay like this a little longer?

( will you keep me a little longer? )

[marmoron]

[The contact feels so fragile, and something in his chest feels so heavy when Lance kisses back, because that certainty of belonging together is well and truly just gone. The doubts don't leave his thoughts, the way their lips connect no longer feels as much like two halves becoming whole and... and then it's over.

Kissing Lance is different now, a sad kind of sweet where it'd once been every cliched superlative in the book. Maybe there's some kind of relief to be found in being so much more anchored to reality, even if for right now it hurts because the memory of being so effortless together, all but literally floating is still smoldering and intoxicatingly warm.

Even with that in mind, his breath still hitches when Lance presses in close for another kiss, skin tingling at the nuzzling. Despite it all, Keith can't help smiling. Those are his reactions now, things he feels because they're real. They're going to talk later -- that's set in stone now. Decided.]

Want to go back to sleep? [It's a quiet little question asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper. He stays close enough that he feels the way they're breathing has synchronized at some point in time.] I think I slept better these past few days.

[Because of you.]

[spazzed]

( he's always going to be the sort that clings to something he doesn't want to let go of, even if he should; the magnetic pull of being tied to keith through the names that had been tattooed on their wrists might be gone, and maybe if the memories had been lost too he wouldn't be feeling like he's clinging for dear life to something he no longer has a right to.

but it doesn't stop him from kissing him. from wanting to kiss him and that sparks a train of thought he'd been afraid to let come to the surface when he'd first woken up. they might not be tugged around by the strings of the gods anymore, if there's something lingering after all of this, it has to mean something.

everything about this is real. everything about this is coming from the very bottom of lance's ribs, where his heart beats against them in an off-beat rhythm that finds his breath coming a little quicker than it would be otherwise. everything about this … is just because he wants to stay close to keith as long as he can.

he nuzzles the other's nose again, breathing out a hum that lingers in the minute space between them. ) We can if you want to. I could probably sleep some more —

( but i really don't want to miss any of this, in case it's gone for good when i wake up again. ) Just being here is nice. ( just being with you. )

[marmoron]

[Just being here is nice. Simple and sweet. Keith doesn't know how to put to words just how reassuring it is to hear that in addition to every other piece of reassurance he's been given that their feelings are mutual.]

..it is.

[A soft admission of his own. It is nice, despite every complicated thing that keeps adding footnotes and annotations to the sentiment.. He looks at Lance, wondering if this all really is as simple for Lance as his words are making it sound or if there's a metric ton of repressing uncomfortable thoughts going on with him as well. One way or another, he doesn't want to dwell on their potential differences for too long. Not right now anyway.

For right now, he just wants to be reassured. It's greedy, it's selfish and he's still doing it.

Keith leans in again to kiss again, this time lingering, moving his hand to touch Lance's face.]

[spazzed]

( there are so many things that need to be said right now, so many things that need addressing and airing out but if he's honest with himself, he's still scared of the outcome even if it seems like they both might be on the same page; this closeness, being able to soak up keith's warmth and not be pushed away in the interim is something he doesn't want to let go of, something he's gotten used to in the past week.

and he doesn't let go easily. neither of them do, but they go about it in different ways and still somehow end up meeting in the middle, and. there could be worse things than that.

they both want to be reassured and they're both getting it, which is good and bad all at once because they're moving past their mutual agreement that they should talk but lance … is being just a bit greedy here, too. just a bit. and maybe he'll be ashamed of it later, but for now —

keith is leaning in to kiss him again and he leans into it all too willingly, his own hand coming up to curl around the back of the other's neck as he ends up nibbling on his bottom lip without realizing, and while he should pull back, maybe apologize, all he really does is check himself to stay in line. to keep the kiss … simple, as it were.

but he does apologize with the smallest flick of his tongue. like that might somehow make the nibbling okay.

lance, you're ridiculous. )