hadriel_logs | Event Log: Dreamwalker

Who: Everyone!
What: The Dreamwalker event
Where: In your comfy bed and your sleepy head.
When: May 16th-26th
Warnings: Good dreams, weird dreams, bad dreams, straight-up nightmares. Please remember to tag for warnings in the header if things are going to be bad!

Have you been having trouble getting a good night's sleep? Tossing and turning, unable to rest those tired eyes? Or maybe you don't sleep at all, and never have. Not to worry! For a little while, you'll have no trouble at all falling asleep - in fact, as night falls, you'll find yourself overwhelmed with exhaustion whether you want to sleep or not. Lay down and rest your weary head, friends. Everyone could use a little extra sleep.

But what will your dreams bring? Something happy, images of a perfect day? Something hopeful, something you've wanted for a long time? Maybe you'll dream of anger, of the face of your worst enemy. Or maybe - just maybe - you'll have a horrific nightmare, and wake screaming, covered in cold sweat.

Not before others have time to see it, though. As you sleep, as you dream, the other residents of Hadriel, friends and enemies and people you've only met once, might find their way into your dreams. Or you might find your way into theirs - and then have to deal with someone's else's nightmares, or hopes, or anger. For the next ten nights, you'll find yourself either a host or a visitor, and no matter how you try you won't be able to stay awake once night falls.

Sweet dreams, Hadriel. Don't let the asshole fear gods bite.

► This log covers May 16th-26th.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► You can't die in the dreams, but if you somehow manage to trip and fall and kill yourself getting out of bed, please report it on the death post.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ronan disregards the apology immediately- he doesn't want it, Gansey doesn't need to give it, and so it's useless. Instead, he focuses on the question, on how Gansey is asking him if he's alright even though he'd come out here to check on Gansey in the first place. Gansey is sitting there and looking up at him, sliding everything back behind his expression again, just so he can be concerned about someone else.

Ronan remembers the dream. He remembers the shake in Gansey's hands, remembers the abrupt decision and difficult acceptance of his own fate. It had been hard for Ronan in the dream and it would be hard for him in reality- but that's not what this is about.

Instead, he shrugs, leans a shoulder against the wood of his doorframe, and stares at Gansey without pulling away, his gaze quiet and insistent.]

You knew. [There's no guilt in his tone- Ronan has been down this road, gone through this scenario, experienced all of this before, and he's leveling the playing field now. It's his fault maybe, for not saying anything sooner- just like it was his fault last time- but there's never a delicate way to bring it up and he hadn't wanted another fight.

Maybe he was a fool for thinking he could avoid Gansey's fate in Henrietta just because they weren't there anymore.]

This whole time, you knew.

[ Gansey sighs. His hand scrubs briefly through his hair as if he's intending to make it sit better. It's still a tousled mess, but it's the best he can do. Anything to delay this conversation, which, realistically, can't be delayed any longer.

He should have talked to Ronan already. As soon as he shared the dream with Adam, he should have known this was a possibility, and acted first. He hadn't, because of course, he's always been a coward when it comes to this sort of thing. Addressing his own fears, making it clear that he's only human. That he's nowhere near the strong, flawless leader that he pretends to be.

The least he can do is give Ronan the truth. He looks around, the steel on his face a cover for how vulnerable it makes him feel. ]

Blue saw my spirit on St Mark's Eve. She told all of us, that day in the helicopter. The truth is, I think I knew before that - when I heard my own voice, on that recording. There's only one reason a spirit appears on the ley line on St Mark's Eve.

It's just taken me a while to accept it.

[It's information that Ronan is familiar with. He's known about Gansey's destiny for a long time now, and for awhile, he'd agreed with Adam to keep it from him. it left a bitter taste on his tongue and he hadn't wanted to, but Adam thought it was for the best, and Ronan knows that Adam is a little more delicate with people than he is.

It wasn't quite a lie, but it wasn't quite honesty either. They'd torn themselves apart on their secret, and the whole time, Gansey had known anyway. It haunted him, as it haunted them, until everything came crashing down in that nightmare.

Ronan forces himself not to look away when Gansey speaks and keeps his unnerving stare right on Gansey's eyes when he opens his mouth to reply, his voice half a mumble from sleep still.]

I'm not going to let it end that way. Parrish won't either.

[ Gansey lets out a breath, and a smile touches his lips. That resilience is not unexpected. He'd met with it from Adam, too, though Adam had been less stoic. That's to be expected. Ronan is nothing if not firm.

And Ronan knows loss better than any of them. Gansey can feel his heart twisting at the thought. Ronan and Adam are like his brothers, both of them. And Ronan has already lost enough family. ]

That's what he said, too. I shared the same dream with him.

[ Thank you, Fear, for making this secret impossible to keep. Gansey leans back, his eyes still on Ronan. ]

I told him that he might have to. This has already happened, Ronan. Blue saw it happen. Time only moves the way it does for us because that's how we perceive it. You've seen how Cabeswater can change that. This is...

This is those words, written on the stone in the forest. You hadn't written them yet, but you would. Not every fate can be changed.

[Ronan doesn't know which is worse- the fact that Gansey seems so right about this and that he'll actually die, or the fact that Gansey can't break out of his logic long enough to believe him. When have Ronan's dreams or Adam's powers ever operated on logic? Cabeswater operates within certain constraints, but those rules can be broken- Ronan knows they can. Didn't they resurrect the bones of the dead in the cave? Didn't Niall Lynch create an entire family from a dream? Didn't they find a living woman who'd been buried for hundreds of years?

But this is where Gansey draws the line, and because it's here, when it involves Ronan and his promise to protect him, it makes it worse.

To his credit, Ronan's expression doesn't change. He's cold, a ceramic figure rather than a person as he shrugs, pulling back into the shadow of his doorway.]

I don't care.

[It's simple and flat, and Ronan weighs the thought of continuing this conversation before deciding not too- everything has already been said, and Gansey is going to believe what he wants to. Ronan knows the truth of things, and he knows what he'll do when the time is right.]

I'm going back to bed.

[ Gansey bites back a sigh, knowing that he’s lost this battle. Ronan isn’t listening to him. It’s not much of a surprise, really. He’s not sure how well he’d listen to this from one of them, either.

But this is Gansey’s life. This is what he’s been afraid of for a very long time, and he’s only just beginning to come to terms with that. To hope that it could be any other way would be a step backward, and he needs to go forward. He needs to be ready for this. What he has to hope for is that when the time comes, they’ll be able to cope with reality. Both Adam and Ronan have been warned for it now. Maybe that means they can prepare, even if they’re not ready to accept.

So he nods, and cuts a small figure on the couch while he does. The gods’ influence has been pulling him to sleep of late. He’ll try to stay awake this time, which is an interesting reverse of his normal behaviour. He just doesn’t want any more dreams. ]

Okay. I’m sorry you had to see it, Ronan, I really am.

Goodnight.

[He doesn't know if he can respond to the apology in full- partially because he thinks that Gansey has no business apologizing to him about nightmares, and partially because it just feels wrong for Gansey to apologize to him in the first place.

This is a bad note to leave Gansey on, and Ronan doesn't really want to leave, but it's hard to even look at him right now without remembering Gansey's hands on his in the dream, Gansey telling Ronan to leave him behind, and the cold, anguished sense of inevitability. He doesn't want to think about Gansey accepting his death- he doesn't want to think about anything like that at all.

So he sighs in the end, faltering back. Ronan doesn't intend to sleep either and he's sure that they both know it, but it's easier to pretend that he is.

In an unprecedented move, he leaves the door to his room open- just in case.

Event Log: Dreamwalker

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