hadriel_logs | [OPEN, MINGLE] 'cause not all who wander are lookin' for the exit

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[OPEN, MINGLE] 'cause not all who wander are lookin' for the exit

Who: Taako, Lup, perhaps you-- invited or not?
What: Taako's been trying to think of a good way to have a party now that ice hell is over, and the disappearance of his sister's husband and his brother in law sounds like as good a time as any to start denying bad feelings and cheering up his goddamn twin.
Where: Around Horny House, aka Imported House 5-1
When: April 11th
Warnings: Alcohol, food, some stupidity most likely.

The night of the 10th, anyone who's friends Taako or Lup-- especially if you're friends with Lup-- will get a text from Taako. It reads:

hey
come over tomorrow at noon
i took down a totally massive animal and im having a barbecue
also bring a gift for lup
dont tell her dont ask questions dont care what it is just do it
your prize is a significant amount of roasted whateverthefuck that i have tested to be sure it will not kill you
also if you dont show up im going to come get you so see ya then

And sure enough, the next day, behind horny house is a large pit filled with rocks and... something or other spit roasted over it. Whatever it is happens to be very, very big, but you can probably see the smoke before you see the animal. Most of the tables in the house have been dragged out onto the lawn around it, covered in mismatched cups, containers of water and plates of fruit, and something lovingly labelled 'SPACE JUICE (CONTAINS ALCOHOL)' that is being served in a large punch bowl. It's bright blue and smells like lighter fluid, so it's pretty unlikely you needed to be warned that there's alcohol in it. One table simply has a sign that says 'PUT GIFTS HERE', which is pretty self explanatory. There also seems to be music coming from discernibly Somewhere, though it's completely unclear as to where-- seeing as the guy running it is magic, it might actually just be coming from the sun. None of that is especially important right now. What is important is this:

Everyone here is legally required to go care about Lup, or Taako's going to punch you in the head. And not even with magic- just with his little fists. So do it, punk.

OOC: This is a MINGLE LOG- please put up toplevels and tag around! While Taako had people he invited, it's pretty damn easy to see this going down, and if you play by the rules and say nice things to his very sad sister he won't kick you out. Have fun!!!

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[ It's not the way Lucretia prefers to deal with her problems, if only due to the depressing reality that once the next day comes and the hangover clears, the problems are all still there.

But this? There's no good solution to this. Nothing she or anyone else can do to get Barry back. All they can try to do is make the loss easier on Lup.

Judging by her reaction, she needs it. Lup's face doesn't even light up at the prospect in that way that always makes Lucretia think what have I done. She just looks relieved. Desperate for some kind of oblivion, even a temporary one. ]

C'mon.

[ She tugs Lup gently out the door and through the crowd to the punch bowl, hesitating as she considers Taako's sign. ]

You do think - uh, it is, uh, food-grade alcohol, right?

[It's a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. No matter what they do to distract Lup tonight, no matter how drunk they let her get, no matter how hard they manage to get her to party, all of the pain of today will just be there waiting for tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.

This isn't the kind of hurt she can just bounce back from. This isn't the kind of thing she can just casually brush off and pretend all is well.

It's going to take time. And however long that ends up taking, Lup's going to be hurting so deeply until then.

So when Lucretia guides her away, Lup follows without hesitation, barely paying attention to where she's being led, just trusting Lucretia to take her where the elf needs to end up. Which ends up being right in front of Taako's party booze. Perfect.]

There's a pretty high chance it's safe to drink. [Probably] But honestly, I could care less. Load me up. Mama wants to get trashed.

[ Lucretia's well aware that this isn't the kind of thing that can be fixed with a party and some company. She'll be here through it all, the tears and pain and anguished, sleepless nights. Whatever Lup needs, however long it takes.

This is a small start, but it's a start. At least Lup's engaging. Lucretia studies the punch bowl a moment longer, then shrugs. ]

Fair enough.

[ No one seems to be exhibiting horrible food poisoning symptoms yet, at least. She ladles out two cups for herself and Lup, then hands one over.

She doesn't offer a toast. Everything's just too fragile right now for her to trust herself to say the right thing. ]

Bottoms up.

Right back at ya.

[It helps, even if Lup would have such difficulty really putting the why or how into words. But having Lucretia present and through it all, ready to walk with the elf through every volatile emotion, ready to be there through her slow recovery, it's what she needs. Lup needs her best friend. She needs the handful of people that she trusts close by, ready and willing to leap in whenever she's actually ready to accept the help.

- And maybe just a bit before then too. She's just nowhere near recognizing how badly she needs the company right now.

In the end, it all boils down to time. Funny after they spent a century with too much of it on their hands. Now it feels like Lup's barely had enough with Barry in this place.

But drinking, that's an activity Lup can fully get behind. She doesn't even hesitate when Lucretia slides the shot her way. She just throws her head back and downs it, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. It burns in all of the best ways and leaves the strangest aftertaste in her mouth (and will absolutely turn their tongues blue by the end of the night), but it works.]

Betcha we could hold a lighter up to my breath right now an' the whole place would go up in flames.

[ Lucretia follows suit, grimacing as she swallows but somehow managing not to choke. She shakes her head afterwards, eyes watering. ]

God, I forgot how awful that is.

[ It's been a long time since Lup and Taako's impromptu moonshine parties on the Starblaster. She shudders, then laughs. ]

I did wonder about the "no open flames" warning on the invitation. I guess this explains it.

[ She's already reaching for the punch bowl again, though. It gets easier as you go along, right? ]

Come on, I don't wanna lose my nerve.

[Most of their past impromptu moonshine parties are some of Lup's fondest memories, of the whole crew just red-faced and totally wild together, the atmosphere of the ship so warm and lively, the burden of their mission momentarily forgotten. But today? This all just feels tainted with sadness, with a heaviness that weighs at her chest, that pulls her shoulders down, that keeps Lup feeling like she's treading water.

This is one she won't want to remember, so maybe it's best to just keep drinking.]

Wouldn't want you to get cold feet or anything.

[Lup's already throwing back her second drink once it's ready, barely giving herself the moment to shudder against the stinging burn before she's filling up for a third.]

Think your tolerance gets better with age? I remember the first time 'Ko dragged this shit out and you got trashed half a sip in.

[ It's not the same. Normally it'd be Lup dragging her eagerly to the punch bowl, while Lucretia did her level best to hang back at the periphery, observing rather than participating. Even once she'd grown out of her shell a little bit, she'd never been a partier.

Today, though, it's Lup who needs to be dragged out. And if Lup needs her, Lucretia's happy to step out of her comfort zone and change roles for once.

She slams back her second drink and scoffs, even as she twists her face up at the taste. ]

Please, Lup, give me some credit. I'm not eighteen anymore.

[ Even so, she's wavering a little as she reaches for number three, brow furrowed in concentration so as not to spill when she refills her cup. ]

[Lup appreciates it, even if those exact words are so difficult for her to reach for at the moment.]

Fuck, that feels forever ago.

[To be fair, it kind of was. A hundred years to an elf isn't just the blink of an eye either, it was the length of her whole childhood. Funny how that time in their lives felt like it was standing still for so long and now all Lup feels is so far away from it all.

The elf slows down after filling up for her next shot, just letting her fingers tap against the glass while she hums thoughtfully, lips pursed.]

Do you miss it?

[ Lucretia pauses too, a much-needed break before she downs the next shot, and stares at Lup in blank surprise. ]

Living on the ship? [ It had been a hundred years of trying to outrun the Hunger, of meeting people only to see them die, of watching the entire multiverse be slowly consumed, one plane at a time. It had been difficult and harrowing and dangerous and terrifying. Uncertain and monotonous, time passing too quickly and not passing at all, all at once.

She doesn't hesitate for a second. ]

It was the happiest time of my life.

Mine too.

[That's not to say there isn't a new happiness around having a real home and a real future and living on a world that isn't threatened by some unseen entity, but those decades together on the Starblaster, spent constantly running and fighting for surviving and testing the strength of their determination are some of her happiest.]

'Ko and I never really had a home till then. [a beat, her gaze dropped down to the shot in front of her, but her eyes are so unfocused it's unclear what she's really seeing. It's nothing Lucretia doesn't know, but it feels important enough to repeat.] Or had anyone else really. It was the two of us for so long, that getting to go through all of that shit together meant a lot.

[Forging those bonds, growing as individuals instead of just that single unit, learning to trust and love and care for others outside of the two of them. It had meant everything. It still does.]

The future's good too. Not having to run is pretty fuckin' dope, but - [Her thumb presses into the glass, hard enough to leave the barest touch of an indent in her skin.] Y'know. Origin story. It was where everything started.

[ Of course she knows it all already, but she listens anyway, nodding in understanding. Taako and Lup had had something special, right from the very beginning. It would have been easy, probably, to just keep clinging on to each other, decide they didn't ever need anyone else, but they hadn't. They'd let the rest of them in. They'd let her in. ]

I wouldn't be who I am, without it.

[ Lup knows that too, of course. She'd been part of it, encouraging Lucretia to come out of her shell, helping her learn and grow. ]

Or - you know. Without all of you.

Gay.

[Because that's what Lup always says when things get sappy, it's her go-to answer. And even if everything in this whole situation feels so wildly out of her control and about as far away from normalcy as possible, she has to try.

She throws back her shot finally, draining the glass and slamming it into the table before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.]

Like, same. But gay.

Super gay.

[ She agrees easily, knowing that Lup isn't dispmissing or disparaging her at all. Lup gets it. They both do, and Lucretia's just as happy not to dwell on the sappiness longer than that.

She slams her own shot instead, blinking watery eyes with a little "whoo" afterwards. ]

Wow, we're, uh, we're well on our way to that - that blacking out, huh?

[ Lucretia is, anyway. She can't speak for Lup. ]

Maybe you are, chickadee, but chagirl doesn't just have an empty leg now. I got a whole empty body, thanks.

[Thanks, Mama Bird, for the sweet skeleton.]

You gonna quit on me, Luce? [She pushes her glass closer, for the other woman to refill, a hint of a teasing grin curling at her lips.] Gonna back out already?

[ She giggles, too loudly. Lup may be the new queen of holding her liquor, but it seems Lucretia's tolerance hasn't increased all that much. At least where Taako's lighter-fluid homebrew is concerned.

Still, there's no way she's giving up now. ]

Oh hell no. Give it here. [ She reaches unsteadily for the glass to drag it closer, weaving dangerously, and then swings back the other way. She furrows her brow, the tip of her tongue pointing out of her mouth in deep concentration as she ever so carefully fills Lup's glass back up to the top. ]

There.

[Lucretia's giggling, so soft and sweet and completely genuine, manages to tug at the elf's heart, fondness for the other woman curling at her lips. After all that they've been through, even with the hurt still swirling and tightening within Lup, it still feels so nice to see Lucretia in their home, laughing, feeling comfortable and welcome. When's the last time she's let herself just laugh? When's the last time she could let her guard down and be herself?

Lup imagines it's been a very long time.]

Crushin' it, babe. Shame you don't stand a chance against me, but look at you giving me a real run of it.

[Lup waits for Lucretia to refill her own glass before she's tipping hers forward towards the other woman, before slinging it back again.]

[ It's been a very long time. Even this, even being allowed here in Taako's home, drinking his shitty booze, is a special treat, and not one that Lucretia takes for granted. She's glad to be here, among her friends, among her family.

But even so, she hasn't forgotten the reason why they're all here. Whatever Lup wants today, Lup gets. She shakes her head a bit but obediently refills her own glass, and brings it up to gently knock against Lup's before taking what, if she's got any sense left at all, should be her final drink of the evening. ]

I don't know what you're talking about, [ she says loftily, and grabs onto the edge of the table to keep from tipping sideways. ] I could do this all night.

[Normally. the phrase 'whatever Lup wants, Lup gets' would make for a pretty damn good day to the elf, but as Lucretia well knows, the one thing she really wants is just too much out of reach today.

But having this whole party is probably the closest to a second she could get, to spend time with Taako, Lucretia, Angus, and the rest of the friends she's made in Hadriel. And now that she's had a few shots in her, some of that miserable tension seems to drain from her skinny frame, leaving Lup a little more loose, a little less sad.]

All night? [Like an inside joke, the elf's mouth curls into a wicked grin, all sharp and curved.] Babe, we both know you've got like three shots more before you gotta sit down the rest of the party. Max.

[ She scoffs, waving a hand in dismissal, and stubbornly reaches for the punch again. Lup is absolutely 100% right, but she's also smiling again, her tense, hunched shoulders starting to relax. There's no way Lucretia's stopping now. ]

I mean, if you wanna give up...

[ She raises an eyebrow, looking challengingly at Lup with a wicked grin of her own. ]

[That's true dedication to the bit, Lucretia. A real friend taking a hit just to make her bestie smile. It's difficult for Lup to appreciate the full nuance of the gesture in this very moment, but in a week or so, she'll be touched to see how far Lucretia and Taako went just to drag the woman out of her grief.

For now, she just wants to drink until she can't feel a thing. Until she can think of Barry without crying.]

Ha! I'm gonna make you eat those words, Lucy. Just you wait.

[She points a perfectly pink nail towards the other's drink.] Your turn. Bottom's up.

[ She'll have the hangover from hell tomorrow, and she knows it, but that doesn't make her hesitate even for a second. Lup is worth everything. ]

Isn't it your turn?

[ Honestly, she doesn't know at this point. She's just pretty sure that Lup can afford to get a drink ahead much more than Lucretia herself can.

But she's pouring another shot for herself even if she objects, slamming it back like a pro. ]

Okay...okay.

Now it's definitely your turn.

[Lucretia AdventureZone, an absolute legend.]

That one went down like nothin'. Look at you crush it, babe.

[Lup follows suit, not even a second's worth of hesitation before she's throwing back her what, fourth drink? Her fifth? She's not even sure anymore. But Lucretia's here and she's wonderful and the booze is flowing as long as they want it and what the fuck else matters?

She pushes her glass back over the table to Lucretia, to get another refill, before the elf's just slumping forward slightly, elbow on the table, her chin perched in her palm, shoulders and ears dipped way down.]

Whatcha gonna do when we get back, Luce? I mean, after everything.

[ Lucretia just scoffs, shaking her head, and takes Lup's glass to pour her another drink. The question catches her off guard, though, and (thankfully) she pauses before she can even consider the question of whether to keep going herself.

She glances up at Lup, surprised, empty glass still clutched in one hand. ]

After?

[ She'd spent so much time and energy just trying to get there, just trying to finish it, and when she'd been brought to Hadriel it still hadn't been done. Being here - the times in between all the shitty parts, at least - had been a nice respite, but even knowing that their hard-fought victory is coming, she still hadn't stopped to think about what she'll do after it's all over.

She looks down at the table, shaking her head. ]

I don't -

I don't know.

This has been my life for so long, Lup. Not just - not just the past ten years, but before that, the Starblaster...

[ She'd been so young at their journey's beginning, barely even a young woman rather than a child. She's not like Lup and Taako, who'd had decades to figure out who they were and what they wanted to do before they boarded the ship and everything changed forever. ]

Fighting the Hunger...

It - it is my life.

[Lup's hand finds Lucretia's almost immediately, palm sliding over the other woman's knuckles, trapping her gently against the table.]

Doesn't have to be. Not anymore.

[Lucretia will find out soon enough. Even with her almost maniac efforts at restoration, even with the weight of rebuilding weighing so heavily on her shoulders, Lup has been able to see moments of genuine relief peek and joy out in her friend. It isn't as often as Lup would like it, sure, but after ten years alone, it's a process that the two of them both have to be patient with while navigating.

And once they've fixed the wrongs they caused, Lucretia won't have nearly as many excuses to get out of fun days with her bestie.]

Think about it, honey. What do you wanna do when everything is over and done? - Besides go on a weekend bender with me, natch.

[There's just no escape from that one.]

You still wanna write?

[ Lucretia blinks in surprise as Lup takes her hand, staring down at it for a second, then smiles.

Choosing what to do with her own life. Doing something, whatever she wants, focusing her energies on her own interests and desires instead of on eliminating the looming, ever-present threat of the Hunger. It sounds...nice. And a little scary. ]

I don't know what I want.

[ Of course she wants to write - doesn't she? She's been writing for a long time. What happens when the story she's lived so long is finally over? ]

What do you do, Lup? After.

[OPEN, MINGLE] 'cause not all who wander are lookin' for the exit

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