hadriel_logs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

felix,
locus

(no subject)

Who: Locus and Felix
What: Shared dreams during the dreamwalking event
Where: The minds of two very screwed up men
When: May 16-26
Warnings: Violence, language, death

[ It starts the same way it always does. New Alexandria. Their orders are simple: evacuate the civilians. Get as many people as they can the hell off the planet before the whole fucking thing is glassed. Predictably, it isn’t that simple.

They’re overrun. Covenant troops are everywhere. Evac ships are exploding in the sky in brilliant bursts of blinding light. Between that and the gunfire, the screams and blasts from the enemy ships, it’s a wonder he’s not deaf yet. Probably would be if not for the helmet’s protection. It protects him from the smell too: the acrid tang of burning metal, the foul miasma of charred flesh and hair. He’s tired, the rifle’s getting heavier by the minute and his armor’s dripping with so much blood he knows some of it has to be his. There's a corvette up there somewhere that's going to start blasting them at any minute. But they can do this. They have to do this. Otherwise the bastards are gonna win and Felix’ll be damned if a bunch of freaks take him out now.

As he spins to fire off another round into a surging mass of aliens fighting their way ever closer to their position, his back fetches up against Locus’ with a muted thunk. The fear, until now like a pulse beating in time with his heart, abates with the realization that he’s not alone. That's when he throws back his head and laughs. Bring ‘em on, he thinks with exhausted recklessness. Together, they’re invincible.

And then it changes, the wartorn landscape of New Alexandria obliterated by bleak devastation. Bombardments from the Covenant ships. Blackened, blasted land. Horror, nausea, the sickening sense that they’re fucking stranded on this dying rock.

They’re in the Highlands. There are trees here, though not for long. The Covenant is coming. If they listen closely, they can hear the distant sound of the ships destroying yet another part of the planet. They'll be upon them soon. There's nowhere to run.

Breaking away from the pointless task of scanning the sky, Felix glances toward Locus. Still alive, but for how long? He’s worried, terrified, certain that they’re going to die, all of his earlier confidence as wasted as the cities they fought so futilely to save. But he can’t let Locus know, can’t let him see how rattled he is. So his voice is light, carefree, like he’s having one hell of a good time and not on the verge of screaming. ]

Think we’ll see some fighting today? All this downtime’s killing me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ This isn't right, that's the first thought he has.

The area is familiar but different enough to be noticeable. For a few fleeting moments, moments enough to be palpable, Locus is disoriented enough to believe that he's actually back in New Alexandria. Something in his gut clenches and he doesn't hesitate in removing the gun from his back to clench in his hands.

He remembers this place. He doesn't want to remember this place. Of course, he should—he does in fevered dreams and heart-pounding moments when faced with similar circumstances—it's what any soldier does, remembers battles fought, comrades lost, civilians left unprotected.

This is bothersome.

He feels something hit his back and Locus doesn't even bother to turn. It's Felix, of course it's Felix because even in dreams he can't escape him. The laugh only confirms it. Body tense, he's poised to say something, admonish him somehow and then everything changed.

Now he knows this isn't right.

Now he knows more about Felix and what's going through his mind. His hand closes tighter around the barrel for a moment and the metal creaks. Everything feels too hot, too contained, too closed in. Locus had intended on resetting his wrongs, but didn't realize facing his past would hold his psyche in such a grip. His stomach churns and he looks over to Felix, remembering being here once before and blindly trusting his partner to do his job.

He doesn't feel that any longer. ]

Shut up. Stop talking, Felix.

[ Behind the visor, Felix rolls his eyes. It's not an order he follows. Not now, not for a long time. But he's heard it so much from his partner over the years that it's actually grounding. Out here in the ass end of hell, there's stability. His stability. The only fucking thing he's ever been able to rely on. ]

You think those things can hear me? They can't. They're too far away.

[ Not forever. No, soon they'll be here and... And what? What will they do? Felix looks to Locus again, thankful that the helmet hides his expression. ]

What's the plan? Do we have a plan?

[ He doesn't check the status of his ammunition, though the nervousness makes him itch to do it. He doesn't sidle closer to Locus, like the guy's presence can drive off the Covenant just by existing. He doesn't glance into his rifle's sight for the hundredth time to check the distance of those ships.

He taps his fingers against the rifle's stock instead. With his hands in his gauntlets, it makes an annoying tick, tick, tick sound. He pretends it isn't keeping time with his heart. ]

Or we just gonna wait and take as many of 'em with us as we can?

[ Of course, it doesn't surprise him that Felix doesn't listen. When has he ever listened? When has he ever followed directions? When has he ever done anything Locus said first without putting in his own machinations first? When has he ever not been a giant pain in the ass? Maybe there had been a time... years ago? Maybe. Locus can't really recall. Felix has always been too big for himself.

Locus looks out over the horizon again, watching for movement and the déjà vu that sits like a heavy block of ice in his gut, that squeezes at the back of his neck, forcing him to relive this nightmare—

Nightmare.

That's it. This place must be twisting something around to make them believe they're back in their own world, back in a past that neither one of them want to relive. That's the whole point, isn't it? These false gods turning this world on its ear. This must be some kind of hoax. An elaborate one, Locus has to give them that much. The ground beneath his feet is real, the gun in his hands feels weighty enough to be real. His teeth grind together as his jaw works around words he'll never say.

Another glance is given to Felix and after a split second of deliberation, Locus flips the gun in his hand to guide with the butt and aims to slam it against Felix's chest. Testing theory number one. ]

[ He never even sees it coming.

When an attack comes, Felix expects it to be from the sky. Or some Covenant shock troops on the ground. He isn't expecting his fucking partner to turn on him in the pale hours before their annihilation.

Felix takes the blow square in the chest, the armor all that keeps him from broken bones. With a squawk of surprise, he stumbles backward, dropping his own rifle as he slams into the ground. It takes him a second to regain his breath, and when he does, his outraged protest is quick to follow. ]

What the fuck was that for?

[ Already reaching for his rifle, Felix pushes himself up into a sit, casting a quick, apprehensive glance toward the sky before focusing in on Locus. ]

Are you losing your shit or what? Get it the fuck together!

[ So. Theory one: Test mental capacity of Felix. Mission: failed.

Felix doesn't do anything but react to the blow, not that it never happened in their true memories. He looks down at Felix, the thought running through his mind what would happen if he shot him right now. Would he actually die? Would he fight back? Is that actually Felix under there or is it just some fucked up vision Locus is being forced to live through. He contemplates his options and nothing seems to have a good outcome. He doesn't yet realize he is asleep. ]

Shut up.

[ The words are hissed and if armor can look irrevocably pissed, his does. Trying to talk Felix into anything is going to be a lost cause. Are they meant to actually relive what happened here? Here of all places. Locus looks down at his palm, the dark grey of his armor filling his sight. This isn't right either. Nothing about this is right. ]

Something isn't right. Do you not feel it?

[ The immediacy of the approaching Covenant ships fades dimly into the background. Everything fades, the details of the trees and the rocks around them sort of melting together until it looks more like a picture drawn from memory of the event and not the actual event itself.

Because Felix is focusing on Locus with outrage and rising horror. Because his attention has shifted to something more terrifying than a futile battle and inevitable slaughter on the hillside of a dying planet. ]

Of course something isn't right! You attacked me! [ On his feet, he points the rifle at Locus, not with any determined intention to shoot him but to warn him off of trying to do it again. ] What's the matter with you?

[ So, no. Felix doesn't see it. Neither does Locus just yet but he's trying. So hard he's trying, but he doesn't know which way to take this. Any theory sounds utterly ridiculous and he doesn't want to follow those threads.

He doesn't want to be here. Not with Felix or without him. They served their dues. They paid the price of being here already.

Locus looks out over the horizon, knowing it's only a matter of time before they're overrun again. Will they not make it out this time? Felix and the rifle are mostly ignored, instead he just scans the grounds around them, behind them. He wonders if they wait for their evac instead of fighting if that will change anything. He wonders if—

He's wondering too much and just wasting time.

It's not the easiest decision to make but Locus makes it because it's the most jarring. And that's what he needs. He thinks? At least it's worth it to try and see what happens.

So, Locus shoulders his gun and turns around to walk away. ]

Nothing.

[ The word is said with a strange sort of finality and Locus keeps walking away. This is test number two: spurning inaction into action. ]

[ This can't be happening. It is. Felix is standing there watching him walk away, but his brain just won't accept that Locus is leaving him here to be cut down by the Covenant. After all they've been through together, after all the times they got each other out of impossible to win situations, he's just leaving?

For the first time in a long time, Felix is struck speechless. At first it's shock that strangles the protest that might have been torn from his throat. Then, it's fear. Crippling terror that rips the strength from his limbs and leaves him listing sideways until a large boulder arrests his downward trajectory. He's going to die here, alone on this miserable planet, abandoned, betrayed. He wonders if one of the sangheili warriors will take him out or if he's not even going to get that honor. If he'll just be glassed with the rest of the hillside. If it will hurt.

He really fucking hopes that it doesn't hurt.

Above him, the sky boils with Covenant ships. His fingers tighten so hard around his rifle that he'd be surprised he didn't break it if he had the wherewithal to think about anything other than his impending demise. At least he'll go down fighting. He'll try to. Looking up, he sees not a dropship but a brilliant, blinding light.

When it clears, he's standing in the middle of a strangely constructed room. The architecture's sangheili, all strange angles and metal and the glow of plasma lighting. There's a ghostly red figure—sangheili—hovering in the air in front of him and his nerveless fingers suddenly have feeling again. Felix brings the rifle up, pointing it at the projection. It won't kill it, but it will sure as fuck make him feel better. ]

That isn't how it happened.

[ The projection flickers and its echoing voice fills the chamber: "But it will. You know it will." ]

Bullshit. [ Felix shakes his head, finger tensing on the trigger. ] He won't abandon me.

[ The AI makes a growling sound of frustration: "Pitiful creature. You cannot lie to yourself." ]

[ Something new is happening. Not what Locus had intended but. It's something.

Everything changes and he becomes tense then battle ready. The surroundings look familiar in a vague sort of way. But it's not until the sangheili speaks that Locus realizes where he is. He stops, his forward movement arrested by metal that he would've crashed directly into had he not. Locus doesn't even bother trying to hide that he's not listening, no. His head snaps over watching, waiting for...

Well, he's not sure what. But he knows this is from the portal, remembers what it was like and the sound of that voice. He wonders if that was Felix's vision, of Locus abandoning him. For a moment he contemplates staying silent so he can hear more—are they back at the temple?—but decides he's spent enough time remaining silent. ]

No, I won't abandon you. However our partnership is over, Felix.

[ And not simply because he died. ]

[ Felix turns at the sound of Locus' voice, though he doesn't quit pointing the rifle at the image of the alien. At first, he's surprised. Locus hadn't been here. He'd been an illusion created by this thing to terrorize him. But the surprise melts into a harsh, bitter laugh when whatever new apparition the AI's conjured says such a bullshit thing.

Locus would never say that. ]

Oh, yeah, sure. You're Locus, right? [ He scoffs. ] Uh huh. I'm really convinced.

[ Swinging back around to face the alien, Felix aims the gun again. The urge to put a few bullets into the thing is increasing rapidly. ]

Try again. I know him. The real Locus. And Locus wouldn't leave me. We need each other. Which I'm sure isn't a concept a fucking computer program like you can understand.

[ Even here he's a fool. The sangheili is an AI, a hologram and Felix is threatening it with a gun. As if that will do one bit of good. He's not thinking any of this through. Locus knows that ultimately Felix isn't stupid. So, there's another reason he's behaving erratically.

He's scared.

There was a time when Locus didn't think Felix actually felt fear. He was too foolhardy, too arrogant, too everything that makes him up to be the pain in the ass that Locus knows. Fear wasn't a factor. But, he can recognize it now. He sees it so clearly now and only wishes he had before.

For several silent moments he watches Felix and feels... nothing. He feels nothing and that's. Something. What that is, he can't say for certain. There's no way Felix knows him, not the real him. Not even Locus does so it's impossible for someone else to. Once again he's stricken with the urge to attack Felix where he stands or just walk away to not deal with this bullshit any longer. ]

No, you don't. You know what you helped create.

[ Because he did. Locus allowed Felix to push and prod him in the direction he wanted, in what suited his needs best. There was never any interest in Locus' thoughts at all. ]

I don't need you. [ He doesn't. Perhaps he never did. ] Fight all you wish, but it will not change. We're through.

[ No. This isn't real. This isn't the real Locus. Just another fucking phantom the goddamn AI created to fuck with him. Felix shakes his head, the gesture a little wild, and swings the gun toward the fake Locus. ]

No. No. You shut up! You aren't him!

[ He almost pulls the trigger. Almost blows this poor imitation away. He's not listening to this anymore. He's not. But he doesn't pull the trigger. He just backs away, keeping the fake in sight. ]

I'm listening to your lies anymore!

[ It blurs, the image shifts and...

And Felix wakes up, breathing as hard as if he's just spent the last hour running laps. There's sweat on his face, matting his hair to his forehead, and when he lifts a hand to brush it out of the way, he finds that it's shaking.

A dream, he tells himself. A nightmare. And it would be comforting, would steady his hands and slow his breathing, were it not for the knowledge that seeps in as the disorientation of sleep wears off.

The betrayal on Chorus. Hadriel. This isn't his room back at base. It's some weird seashell bullshit in the middle of nowhere. He tries to tell himself that at least he's still alive.

It doesn't help. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only