[Coming apart is not an easy thing. Ronan has always been so tightly stitched together, pulled closed by anger and composure and taut, precise control, that letting even a fraction of that unravel feels like too much. Adam wouldn't judge him for it, he knows, not after everything they've been through together, but part of him is still convinced that he has to be the strong one for the both of them, that he's the rock and Adam is the willow.
Hearing about Gansey so soon in the wake of his mother's own death though, feeling himself quickly snatched from the seizing fight for his own existence- it's a lot to handle, and he knows it's a lot for Adam too, he knows that he should straighten up and pull Adam's face to his shoulder, but it's always been difficult to step outside of his own pain when he's feeling it, and this is too much.
He lets out a soft sob, cracking for a moment, allowing a portion of what he's feeling to bleed out of him before his shoulders go tense again and he takes in a short breath and holds it, eyes squeezed shut to force himself to stop crying after he's hardly only begun.]
I'm so fucking tired.
[Is what he does say, after his breath is held for long enough to stop gasping out in heartache, and his voice now is just hoarse, tight. He knows he can't fall asleep, not so soon after everything, he knows he should try to look for Blue maybe, but right now it's just difficult to keep standing, even when supported with Adam's weight holding him in.
He forces another breath, but doesn't quite pull away to look at him yet.]
no subject
Hearing about Gansey so soon in the wake of his mother's own death though, feeling himself quickly snatched from the seizing fight for his own existence- it's a lot to handle, and he knows it's a lot for Adam too, he knows that he should straighten up and pull Adam's face to his shoulder, but it's always been difficult to step outside of his own pain when he's feeling it, and this is too much.
He lets out a soft sob, cracking for a moment, allowing a portion of what he's feeling to bleed out of him before his shoulders go tense again and he takes in a short breath and holds it, eyes squeezed shut to force himself to stop crying after he's hardly only begun.]
I'm so fucking tired.
[Is what he does say, after his breath is held for long enough to stop gasping out in heartache, and his voice now is just hoarse, tight. He knows he can't fall asleep, not so soon after everything, he knows he should try to look for Blue maybe, but right now it's just difficult to keep standing, even when supported with Adam's weight holding him in.
He forces another breath, but doesn't quite pull away to look at him yet.]
-can we just lay down?