hadriel_logs | Event Log: Regret This

Entry tags:

Event Log: Regret This

Who: Everyone!
What: The Regret This event
Where: Throughout the city
When: June 25th-July 3rd
Warnings: Sorrow is resurrected, and everyone is immediately full of regrets

Hope has finally managed another god resurrection, and the people have spoken! On June 25th, he musters his powers and brings Sorrow back to Hadriel. An orchard appears across the river, in the until now ruined part of the city, and Sorrow's temple is also restored. Hooray! One more god to make things a little more livable in this place.

Of course, it's not that easy. It never is. Along with Sorrow himself comes a wave of regret and guilt that blankets the city. All those affected will be inclined to not only be sad, but to linger over past regrets and things they feel guilty about. They can distract themselves with everyday tasks or whatever else they please, but they'll find that their thoughts drift back to these regrets regardless of what they do.

And of course, the best way to purge a guilty conscience is confession, right? On top of these persistent sad thoughts, people will feel the urge to tell others about them, to air their past mistakes or misdeeds and possibly receive some kind of forgiveness. So what if your neighbor doesn't care that you cheated on your final exams all through school? You have to tell someone, and they're right there. If it doesn't make you feel better, that probably means you haven't confessed to enough people yet, or maybe you just haven't found the right person. Better try again!

On July 3rd, Sorrow has settled in and this urge to confess your sins will die down, along with the constant regret. Let's hope you didn't confess anything too personal. Remember, you're gonna have to see some of these people every day.

► This log covers June 25th-July 3rd.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you somehow manage to end up regretfully dead, please remember to hit up our death post!

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"But you wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for me, would you?"

He shakes his head, dragging his metal hand down his face. Yes, taking care of the creatures in the cave benefits the community at large, but the part where she's undertaking a hunt for him is what leaves Nick rattled. If she were to die out there, trying to kill something huge and vicious all for his sake, he's not sure he could live with himself. No one has cared so much about his well-being that they'd risk their own life, certainly not for a few screws and wires.

"I don't want you putting yourself in danger like that," he admits. "Hope might just be asking for a few things killed today, but what is it tomorrow? What happens if he starts asking more of you because he knows you'll do whatever you have to do to get those parts?"

[Ah. He's got it too.]

Yeah. We're all feeling it right now, bud.

[Bigby in his stomach, Sans in his bones. And when a guy's all bones, what's left for the rest of his emotions?]

Tell you what, how about I pick you up and we head home. Anything's gotta be comfier than up there.

[ Shadow is an asshole, news at eleven.

Kate's attempts at sobriety crumble with one bottle and a note that she - perhaps thankfully - doesn't find until after work. It's enough to drive her to down several shots at home and make her way to the bar to do more damage to her liver.

Of course, because the city is tiny and nothing can let her live a miserable evening in peace, she has to run into one of the names written on that note, right? She can't just find a quiet space to drink away all feelings.

This is not the way they were meant to have these drinks, but it's the way fate's cruel sense of humour has intended for them to happen. ] Miss the sky. [ It's a strange confession, not one she's felt compelled to hide before, but it's true and it means a lot more now than it did when idly complaining with Emily. ] Maybe a bit too much.

[ Barkeep, drinks? ]

[He tries to copy the movement of Elmer's arm and wrist. His rock doesn't so much skip as make a dismal plopping sound into the lake. Ushahin frowns down at his left arm. He's out of practice at using it for too much.]

I never have been strong physically. Perhaps it's why I failed them all.

[A random way to twist the conversation, but Ushahin feels that he needs to talk about what has been on his mind.]

Has your failure ever cost someone their life?

The voice above him gets Ushahin's eyes to flicker back open. They're mismatched, the left's iris frozen while the right is able to wax and wane normally. He squints at the sudden blast of light, a pain to his bad eye, which can't process light normally. It's just a girl. Then he feels something sniffing at him. Scratch that, it's just a girl and her dog.

He focuses on her words. "No." That's the second person in as many days to accuse him of being drunk. Apparently, consuming alcohol and just being crazy produce the same effect. "Just trying to drown out the voices in my head." Yep, definitely a madman rather than an intoxicated one.

[Ushahin walks between the figures in Sans's dream, marveling at the variety between all the monsters around him. Colorful and each more different than the last, Sans's description of them the first time they talked was indeed accurate, although perhaps leaving out a few key details.

He also notes how very nice and normal this dream is. Dreams are Ushahin's realm and he knows more about them than any living soul. Something about this is just too quiet. He waits for the other shoe to drop.

It doesn't take long. He watches as they all disappear, waiting until the skeleton that seems to mean something to Sans disappears last of all. He takes that as his cue to fade into the dream.]

That was all very entertaining, but I do believe that's enough.

[And the dream just...freezes. Everything in it save for the two of them, even right down to the light and very air being breathed in, stops what it is doing.]

So this is what a monster's nightmare looks like.

"Not true." Rey looks at him this time when she says this, her hand lowering from her face. "I went out and killed a handful of those creatures the first time Hope had asked people so kindly to do so. It's how I got his blessing, which certainly helped when I'd returned from my last 'trip' home."

Had she not that healing ability, she isn't sure if that situation between her, Nick, and Glacius would've ended so well. It probably wouldn't have killed her. Probably. But it would've complicated things with getting her out of that Colosseum at the time in the condition she was in.

Rey shrugs. "We're talking about the guy who brought back someone who tried to murder him so he could give her a slap on the wrist and ask her not to do it again."

See, Nick? Hope has been helpful, and an idiot.

"Same." Rey has seen lots of plants and trees during her travels throughout the world. While she can't say what they all tasted like (lacking in a sense of taste at the time herself), she could at least identify them by appearance.

Nothing here looks familiar. Not the architecture, the literature, or the food, save for what exists in the stores, and even then it's a stroke of luck. Rey isn't as keen on familiarity as others may be, though. In fact, she would rather do what she can to avoid it.

She tosses what remains of her fruit to the side. It isn't littering if it's compost, right?

"Didn't think you'd be back to enjoy it, for as much as you can 'enjoy' anything here."

Given what Sharon had done and all.

[Victor has that effect on a lot of people. Far too many. Yet today he is less than his usual charming self. His foul mood is less abrasive and more sad than anything.

Which is odd as he strides his way right into Firo's personal space. Victor's eyes are a bit blood shot, which for an immortal means he had to be crying a mere moment ago for it to still be visible.]

Just shut the hell up and listen, okay? Sorry.

[Already apologizing for just snapping at Firo.]

Look, I just wanted to tell you something. I know it's got to be weighing on you, the fact that I could one day arrest and even devour Ennis. You got some weird connection there that I won't even get into. I've been using that threat and dangling it over your head because I know you'd go all tough guy on me if I just threatened to devour you.

[Not getting to the point might make this sound even more terrible. Victor goes on though.]

But I won't. I only did that because I needed to get to Huey. He plays with people and disposes of them like trash. He even tried to blow up my men, people I try to protect from people like us. He's a monster and I can't crack him. So I made that threat to get you in on it. I know that makes me the bad guy too and there's no real excuse. I sent you because you're new and you're an immortal. I couldn't send innocent people after a guy like that. It had to be someone like us.

And I wouldn't harm Ennis. She even ate one of my friends and I'd still never take revenge on her. If I did that I'd be just as bad as Szilard and Huey.

[Yup, he's crying again. Unloading is hard.]

You got Szilard's memories and she devoured a friend of mine and I can't even fathom taking revenge on the two of you. Kinda lame right?

You're going to get sick if it doesn't.

[It doesn't matter if that's not true. Emily is always right.

And since she's always right, she knows she needs to pay attention to the feeling that she owes him for saving her from that monster. She can't really fight, and she's an honest to god asshole, but she could use the sewing practice, and he could get sick, so...]

I can make you a jacket if you want.

[Henry's pen stills, and he looks up from his paperwork to Shadow. He's almost surprised to see the hedgehog there -- Shadow never struck him as hesitant before.]

Ah, Shadow. So you are back in action.

[They need a post citywide incident protocol, Henry thinks, half-distracted, and quickly notes down that thought on a spare piece of paper. There is no way to tell who is injured or dead in their absence without witnesses or some manner of check-in system.]

Need you aught?

[The underlying tension in Henry impacts the tone he uses: it leaves his voice somewhat sharp-edged and curt.]

[ She comes here exactly once. Exactly once because it's too close to the hellscape she helped create. But she visits it anyway, because the new supplies are too interesting to ignore, even if Sorrow seems to think they couldn't be medicinal.

She's not sure they are, and she knows nothing about how to find out, but it's worth a shot, right?

Maybe something in them can create a pill that helps ease off this damned power exhaustion she gave herself. ]

Probably not a good sign. ... Or they're not ripe yet. One of the two. [ She glances at the fruit in Kamina's hand and picks one off the tree.

Hm. ]

I know. [Maketh takes another drink. There's no arguing with that. She did awful things when Rage played with their minds. And what is stopping it from happening again?] I suppose I'm glad the choice isn't mine alone. But there will be...trouble, nonetheless. I have a feeling.

[When his weeping subsides, he feels only partial catharsis; like Rage's impact before, he attributes it to Sorrow influence. His grip loosens and his breathing evens out, but he does not pull away yet. He feels less hollowed out with Maketh close.]

It was her choice.

[Somehow that only makes it worse: there is no one to blame, no mistake which lead to Iamarl's death. It was an act of love on her part. He would have never paid with her life for his, but it was never his decision to make. He still does not know how to deal with that. He cannot express it. He is silent for a moment, before he says:]

...Her sense of duty and sacrifice are... were kin to yours.

[For better and worse.]

[Maketh snorts, though he's not wrong.] Is that a gift of yours? Detecting the strength of alcohol from the smell?

Rey's excuse makes sense. Hope, as much as Nick doesn't want to admit it, seems to have the people's best interests at heart, and while he may or may not have had a hand in bringing them to Hadriel, he has been helpful. He's provided supplies, warned them of dangers, and even made good on his word when it came to bringing back the dead.

Despite that, Nick can't bring himself to agree with what Rey is doing, and the fact she has valid excuses just makes him more frustrated. It's one thing to go thin the numbers in the caves when the god requests it -- it's either that, or he'll claim exhaustion and take away the food supply like the not-so-benevolent god Nick's sure he is. It's another matter to go out hunting because of a bargain she'd made, one she'd made for Nick himself.

"I don't want you doing this anymore, Rey," he insists sternly, his eyes narrowing. "All it takes is one wrong move, and then you're dead out there because of me. We can use whatever parts you've already got, but those are the last ones."

We do what we must.

[It's not much of a comfort, but it is the truth. People act according to their nature and Maketh has very few illusions left about hers. Once, she had considered her life meaningless unless it could be used - a tool in service of a cause greater than herself. To die that way would not only be honorable, but productive as well. Far from meaningless. That, the Empire had taught her, was the worst sort of fate. To be nothing.

She's different now. This place and these people have made her different, though Maketh knows she would die for them all over again if it was required of her. They deserve to live.

Sometimes, in the darker moments, she wonders if she does.

Maketh runs a hand through Henry's hair, ruffling it playfully. Those are dark thoughts. They have no place in this.] Then it was not without meaning. I know it hurts. It always hurts. But--you're still here. I have to believe Iamarl would approve.

[Maketh looks up slowly, blinking.] Doctor.

[She's well on her way to smashed and has resigned herself to sleeping on the floor of the bar. It's the only way she's found to avoid the nightmares in this place and tonight she can't quite find the strength to deal with that horror, one among hundreds. There is too much and she needs to be out of herself. Just for a little while.

Thus, the drinking. It's been said she has something of a problem in that area.

She raises her glass in a grim salute.] Come for a drink?

I miss it too. [Maketh rubs her face, knocking over an empty glass by accident. It tips over the edge of the bar and shatters on the floor. Maketh is fairly drunk by this point, and beyond caring about shards of glass scattered across the floor - or much else.

Mission accomplished. She won't dream tonight.]

The desert.

[She nods, grabbing for a fresh glass. Whiskey burns all the way down, and part of her needs that. A little edge of pain.] I grew up in a desert. You could see everything.

[ She ends up with a beer, if only because more shots seem like a recipe for blacking out and the urge is to just keep drinking, long and steady and endless.

Kate's pretty sure the whiskey Shadow sent has killed her tastebuds already anyway. ] Really? That sounds amazin'. [ Her accent always gets stronger when she drinks, blunter vowels and clipped letters. ] You can see everything here from the rooftops.

Looks like shit, though.

[Maketh smiles at Kate fondly, though it's aimed more at the memories than at the company.] It's all fake. An illusion. Not even a good one. I don't know why they bother.

Well, that's not the strangest thing she's seen. Miriam puts her hands on her hips. "That's not gonna help much. You should do stuff, you wanna ignore that."

Gilly had a friend who heard voices sometimes.

[After a moment, Henry catches the wrist of her offending hand and pulls away, sitting back on his heels. He closes his broader, calloused hand around hers. His restlessness is conquered for the time being, leaving only exhaustion behind.]

I only told you of the first half of our war against Diabolus. Allow me to finish my tale.

[The reason he did not before is evident: Iamarl's death is a part of it.]

[ She doesn't smile, but she laughs. One of those humourless ones that speaks of nothing but resignation. ] How else would they remind us who had the power? [ Look at all these things and know they're not yours. Look at this life and know you can't have it. ]

[And get carried around like some kind of weird pet? Yeah, no, that's not him. The only who might even possibly get away with that would be Papyrus, and never in front of the entire population of Hadriel.

And Papyrus isn't here. No one's here. Because they're all dead.]

I'll be honest here, I'm not really about that. Up here's not great, but it's better than...

[Better than what?

Hm. Can't think of a way to end that sentence, so he abandons it. And sighs.]

Be right down.

[He can't just roll off the shelf, much as he'd like to. Nope, that'd be a one-way ticket to death with his HP being the way it is. So he just blips on down, displacing the space he was occupying in exchange for some space down below.]

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Event Log: Regret This

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bar, evening of the 28th?

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orchard!!

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