Event Log: Regret This

[hadrielmods]

Who: Everyone!
What: The Regret This event
Where: Throughout the city
When: June 25th-July 3rd
Warnings: Sorrow is resurrected, and everyone is immediately full of regrets

Hope has finally managed another god resurrection, and the people have spoken! On June 25th, he musters his powers and brings Sorrow back to Hadriel. An orchard appears across the river, in the until now ruined part of the city, and Sorrow's temple is also restored. Hooray! One more god to make things a little more livable in this place.

Of course, it's not that easy. It never is. Along with Sorrow himself comes a wave of regret and guilt that blankets the city. All those affected will be inclined to not only be sad, but to linger over past regrets and things they feel guilty about. They can distract themselves with everyday tasks or whatever else they please, but they'll find that their thoughts drift back to these regrets regardless of what they do.

And of course, the best way to purge a guilty conscience is confession, right? On top of these persistent sad thoughts, people will feel the urge to tell others about them, to air their past mistakes or misdeeds and possibly receive some kind of forgiveness. So what if your neighbor doesn't care that you cheated on your final exams all through school? You have to tell someone, and they're right there. If it doesn't make you feel better, that probably means you haven't confessed to enough people yet, or maybe you just haven't found the right person. Better try again!

On July 3rd, Sorrow has settled in and this urge to confess your sins will die down, along with the constant regret. Let's hope you didn't confess anything too personal. Remember, you're gonna have to see some of these people every day.

► This log covers June 25th-July 3rd.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well!
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you somehow manage to end up regretfully dead, please remember to hit up our death post!

Comments

[closerift]

I am happy! What do I have to be unhappy about?

[ Ha... aha. Cecily buries her feelings more often than she embraces, though, so it's actually not sarcasm when she speaks. It may be denial, but it isn't a joke. ]

I don't want to be going over every mistake I've ever made. [ She mutters. ] I think it's the gods' influence.

[fadeling]

No. You aren't. [He doesn't need to be able to see that to know it.]

Sometimes mistakes are important.

[closerift]

[ Right, she couldn't fool him, even if it wasn't obvious. Her face falls, settles back into a morose, glazed stare, and she admits a sigh. ]

Sometimes. [ Usually, she feels as if she's just brooding, which she considers to be unhelpful. ] Now, it just... makes me question everything I've ever done. It makes me wonder if I've ever done something right.

[ Of course, she has that thought most of the time without Sorrow's helpful influence, but she bottles it up effectively enough. ]

[fadeling]

You help people. That's right. [It's only one of several things, though.] You try to make things better. You see the world like it is and you love it anyway--you fix what's broken because you do. That's more than most people.

You see me too, and your eyes stick. It wouldn't if you weren't right.

[closerift]

It isn't more than most people. [ She mutters. ] It's less, if anything.

[ As is the cases with most leaders, she thinks, the Inquisitor only barks out a lot of orders and leaves the grunt work to others. ]

I may not be wrong, but that doesn't mean I'm right.

[fadeling]

[He doesn't like seeing her like this, but everything he can think of isn't working and it's hard to keep watching her be sad--watching this place make people sad.

He's tired of it and he wants to leave--but he doesn't. Like he's said before, no matter how uncomfortable it is, here he can help.]

Why? Why aren't you?

[closerift]

[ Sorrow's grasp is tight around her core and she hates it, can feel guilt and other, unwelcome feelings bubbling up continuously. She has to try, swallows down the admissions, shakes her head. ]

If I keep talking about it, I'll--... well, I'll keep talking about it. [ The Inquisitor huffs out a sigh, shifting. ] I don't want to do that.

[fadeling]

Maybe you should. Sometimes it has to hurt to heal.

[closerift]

I've said enough. [ The Inquisitor mutters, waving the idea way with a hand. ] But... thank you. I know you're trying, and I'm difficult.

[ Usually. Cecily offers a wavering smile, if only for his sake. ]

How are you feeling? [ She asks, curious. ] Has this affected you at all?

[fadeling]

It's alright. I don't mind. [If it's what she needs, then he doesn't have to like it.]

No. I'm still me, I think.

[closerift]

[ She doesn't like it, either, so she keeps from expanding on her own Sorrow-given regrets. ]

Well, I'm still me, too. [ She teases lightly. ] They haven't gotten to you, though? Maybe you're beyond their influence.

[ Wouldn't that be a boon, if it were true... ]

[fadeling]

I don't know. Maybe I'm too small to notice.

[closerift]

I don't think you are. [ Least of all because he's making himself sound unimportant, and she's having none of that. ] But... you may be able to get a jump on them that the rest of us can't really do.

[fadeling]

Maybe. I don't know yet. I might like being small better.

[closerift]

I think you might be smaller or larger, depending on the day. [ Depending on how he chooses to reveal himself to people... or not to do so. ]

[fadeling]

Sometimes. Small is silent and large is loud. Some helps more than others.

[closerift]

[ Cecily watches him, chewing briefly on her lip. ]

... Do you think the fruit here is all right? [ She asks finally, turning her attention to it. Better to focus on the physical and the literal rather than the guilt that still prickles, angry, in her mind. ]

[fadeling]

[It's an abrupt subject change, but he doesn't even bother to question it. Sometimes not thinking helps too.]

I don't know. I never tried.

[closerift]

I don't think I trust it. [ Cecily concludes, wrinkling her nose. ] I don't want to starve, mind, but I also don't think most of the gods are interested in our health.

[ At the very least, the fruits and vegetables there seem... weird. ]

[fadeling]

Maybe. Did anyone ask them? [That seems like a good thing to do, right?]

[closerift]

Someone might have; I don't know. [ She shrugs. ] Can we trust what they say, whatever their answers are?

[fadeling]

I don't know. We can't know if we don't try.

[closerift]

Fair enough.

[ Roundabout though it is, though it always is, with Cole. ]

Do you like any one of them more than the others?

[fadeling]

I don't know. I don't think so. I'd like them better if they let us leave.

[closerift]

'Course. [ She agrees. ] But they're not about to do that, are they? Blighted assholes.

[ mumble mumble ]