hadriel_logs | Event Log: Dead Men Walking

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Event Log: Dead Men Walking

Who: Everyone participating in the event!
What: The event log for the Dead Men Walking event!
Where: All around the city
When: September 14th-September 20th
Warnings: Zombies. Walkers. The Infected. Zeds. The undead. Risen.

Everything seems more or less normal in Hadriel on the 14th - at least at first. But wait, who's that over there? Why are they walking so weird? Are they feeling okay? Wow, did they just try to bite you? Oh shit, you might've seen a movie like this before. That was definitely a zombie.

But hey, it's no big deal. A few zombies here and there are pretty easy to avoid, especially when you can outrun them without too much trouble. They're only really dangerous if they're fast or if there are a lot of them, and they sure aren't fast! Only - well, before long, there are a lot of them. You can hardly go outside without running into one, and mobs form quickly. Went out for supplies? Let's hope they didn't follow you - you might get stuck in that shop, mobile corpses pounding on the door. Oh, and don't stand too close to the windows of your house. They'll be more than happy to smash the glass trying to get you.

Don't worry, though! A hard blow to the head will take these zombies out, and you'll be sitting pretty, as long as none of them bite you. None of them bit you... right? Wow, what a relief. We're all glad you're not concealing a life-threatening zombie bite from your friends! Who would do that, anyway? Now if you can manage that until the 20th, you'll be safe and sound as the zombies shamble out of the city. Hopefully you won't be shambling with them.

► This log covers September 14th-September 20th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you join the zombie party, please let us know here!

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Firo smiles a little wryly. Great, good to know that he's outstanding in this way.

"Mixed up? Depends on what you mean. Sometimes with the older ones it's hard to figure out what belongs to who, but some of it just... feels different. It's hard to explain."

For instance, if someone's a bad, bad guy, he can tell the memories come with a sort of unique 'stain.'

It would be easier to assume that it's just different for everyone. Comparing her situation to Firo's is as fair as paralleling Nick's to her own, all of which have had very different experiences.

Still, she can't help but feel a punch of inadequacy in her own case. Except that perhaps the one thing she has going for her is the fact that she's still trying to figure out who she is. Which 'Rey' she chooses to be, if any of them at all.

"No, think I have a pretty good idea on what you're talking about."

"Yeah?" His mouth twists a little. Sure, it could be nice to have someone who gets it, but he wouldn't wish what's going on in his head on anybody.

A question comes to mind, not without a healthy helping of trepidation. If they're similar enough, then his concerns about Szilard taking him over could apply to Rey too. Actually she sounds much more tied to the people in her head than he is to his. He hopes that's not a bad sign.

"How long has it been for you?"

Similarly Rey could say the same. She is already bonded with Nick over being saddled with comparable problems, but knowing that someone like Firo is in the same boat makes it all the more substantiating.

"Four years, give or take, since the memories were all unlocked. Before that, things were a little more difficult to figure out."

That was the point. Keeping her in the dark about who and what she really was only made most of her easier for Gregory to control.

"Yeah? It's been about the same for me.

"Whaddaya mean by that?" He supposes one difference he can see between them is that Rey does seem to have a stronger connection to her memories; at least it sounds like she was that way from the start. Firo's accepted Szilard's presence in his head, but he doesn't quite accept him as a part of him.

If it happens that Szilard does become a part of his personality... well, he supposes that'll be okay if his friends are okay. But that would be in doubt, knowing Szilard.

Her jaw tenses, mouth going dry before she speaks. "As in, none of those people I was before had any idea who or what they really were. Most of them, anyway. The ones who did... They weren't very well put together in the head."

Having to carry those pieces of her old selves with her at all times now is like carrying a heavy weight on her back. She tries not to think about the things they thought and felt while committing a widespread of atrocities, but it's a little more difficult in practice.

"With the others, sometimes the memories would unravel. Overlap. Once the truth would become clear to them, or even came close to it, they had to be terminated or reset."

His mouth thins to a line at her language. It's not the coldness of the terms 'terminated' and 'reset' that bother him but the way that they seem to dodge the very real issue. He waves one hand at her. "Just say 'killed' if that's what you mean."

It's too much like Ennis's analogy at having her "company branch shut down" if Szilard decided to "fire" her.

With that said, he's quick to move on, still curious about her relationship to all these memories. "You still think those memories are worth the trouble?"

Being 'killed' is a more accurate description. One that Rey had always found herself remiss to admit. She doesn't add much beyond a simple nod of acknowledgment to Firo's suggestion. Considering that not all of her selves were terrible monsters, it was a cold way of referring to their sacrifices and misfortunes.

"Yes, I do. Even if I didn't think they were, it isn't like I have much of a choice but to live with them anymore. What with technology in this place sorely lacking."

And Rey not wanting to strike up another deal with the gods over something she sees trifling.

Firo shrugs. If she's thinking of it that way, he supposes it makes a little more sense. Can't get rid of it, so you have to live with it. "Technology has nothing to do with it. I just don't get thinking about 'em the way you do."

Newsflash: Rey's weird.

Story at 11.

"It isn't that simple. Didn't always have control over them, if you could even consider this 'control' right now." She ducks her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Sometimes it feels like they're just screaming, on and on and on..."

"So even in your head they can still do whatever they want?" He says it lightly, but inside his heart feels like cold stone. That's not good at all.

"Not really."

But then she looks a little more uncertain, casting a brief look away. She isn't ignorant to the occasional bloodlust in passing, which has usually been sated with a little action and death. Keeps it quiet -- keeps it tame.

Even Rey knows that she can only keep that up for so long, though.

"I'm not really sure. I'd rather not risk it."

He nods, understanding immediately. Yep, he gets that. "Just asking. Believe me, I get not wanting to push the envelope on shit like this."

He takes a drink. "I don't think mine are like that, but--" He cuts himself off with more booze. Should he be sharing this much? He's never met someone who can relate to him on this, and the feelings he's kept bottled up just want to come bursting out. "...but it's hard to tell. If they change you, how're you gonna know?"

General 'you' there. He's sure this could be a problem for both of them.

It's good to know that Firo is in complete understanding, at least about that much. In a way, he probably gets it from firsthand experience than even Nick does. Nick's imprinted memories made him who he is, while Firo was already someone before he had acquired the minds of others.

Hand resting on the brim of her shotglass, Rey thinks on his question just then, staring at the line of bottles on the wall ahead. She tilts the foot of the glass in circles, swishing around the liquor inside. "Guess you don't. Things like these, you don't have any other option but to think on it."

Something which Firo doesn't seem to be too fond of.

"I just know that it beats the alternative. They're a mess, but without them, I would be easier to control. It isn't hard to manipulate someone lacking in much life experience beyond the walls of a glass prison."

Surely there was more to it than that, but Rey doesn't understand it any more than Firo would. Somehow, unlocking those memories overrode whatever influence that made her more vulnerable to persuasion. Maybe she'd have been an easier puppet for the gods, if those very strings were still attached to her brain.

"Oh." And it clicks for him, mostly. Rey may be more like him in the volume of memories, but it sounds like she's more like Ennis in her relationship with them. Ennis may not have enjoyed eating that guy--she didn't know what enjoyment was at the time--but she still gained something from the experience.

"That makes sense, then. I knew somebody else like that--she got memories from a guy the same way I did, and that's how she learned a lotta stuff about the world."

Thankfully, it seems like Firo finally gets it. Why Rey can't just abandon the memories she's earned. It's agonizing, sure -- but so is not knowing anything. Not having anyone, not even the knowledge of family or friends, or the feelings that come with it. No sense of appreciation, or love. Or what she believes is supposed to be love...

"Ah, right. That's the woman you mentioned before, isn't it? The artificial one?"

Alchemy and science seem like worlds apart in theory. But they don't sound too different after all.

Besides, there are some things about Rey that not even science has been able to explain.

Firo nods. "Ennis."

"The way she was made... she wasn't born knowing anything about the world. And the guy who made her only taught her what suited him. So other stuff she just picked up by chance when she 'ate' that guy. If that hadn't happened, I've got no idea where she'd be."

She probably wouldn't have become friends with Isaac and Miria, so she wouldn't have sacrificed herself for them. Maybe things would've been better for her in the short term, but then she'd be denied the joy that she was with them now.

While Rey might not know much about Firo's situation with this woman he knows, the answer to his speculation seems pretty obvious.

"Sounds like things worked out for her, in the end."

Maybe more than what Rey can say for herself, in her own situation.

"I think so. Coulda' turned out a lot worse."

He turns away to stare back at the bottles behind the bar. "And I think she's happy, as near as I can tell."

It's always easier for Rey to expect the worst case scenario. But it's also nice to hear that sometimes there can be a happy ending.

"You care about her?"

Obvious as it may be, she still wants to hear what Firo has to say.

It's a question that might have Firo flustered if the answer weren't so simple and obvious to him. He gives a firm, brisk nod when he looks back at Rey. "She's family."

That's all there is to it.

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Event Log: Dead Men Walking

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