wanda maximoff (
divulsion) wrote in
hadriel_logs2015-12-07 08:17 pm
Entry tags:
closed;
Who: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers
What: Late night insomnia conversation
Where: Their house at 1501
When: Tonight
Warnings: Wanda's still grieving obviously so depressing thoughts about her dead twin are rarely far. Will add as necessary.
[It's been nearly a month since Wanda's arrival in Hadriel. A month of healing after her injuries. A month of exploring this strange underground city. A month of trying to learn what she could about Hope and Fear, and a month of trying to adjust to this new lifestyle. One with teammates. Housemates. A couple she would even tentatively call allies if not friends.
One without any apparent purpose or solid goal. She'd had the well-being of Sokovia motivating her before. HYDRA. Ultron. The Avengers after that. She'd had direction and then she'd had nothing at all. Suffice to say that it leaves her with far too much time to think to herself, and more often than not at night when she finds it hard to sleep.
With a cup of what passes for tea, Wanda leans on the railing of the outdoor balcony next to her room, and looks out at the landscape. From here she can see Hope's Temple, or at least the top of the roof, and the tower of apartments near it. They peek out above the other houses in their spiral. She wonders what Pietro would think of this place, if with all of his speed he'd have explored it twice-over by now, perhaps have found something they might be missing.
She wonders if she'll ever get used to the feeling of wrongness that's always lingering at the back of her mind, that it isn't right that she didn't also die with the brother she was born with.]
What: Late night insomnia conversation
Where: Their house at 1501
When: Tonight
Warnings: Wanda's still grieving obviously so depressing thoughts about her dead twin are rarely far. Will add as necessary.
[It's been nearly a month since Wanda's arrival in Hadriel. A month of healing after her injuries. A month of exploring this strange underground city. A month of trying to learn what she could about Hope and Fear, and a month of trying to adjust to this new lifestyle. One with teammates. Housemates. A couple she would even tentatively call allies if not friends.
One without any apparent purpose or solid goal. She'd had the well-being of Sokovia motivating her before. HYDRA. Ultron. The Avengers after that. She'd had direction and then she'd had nothing at all. Suffice to say that it leaves her with far too much time to think to herself, and more often than not at night when she finds it hard to sleep.
With a cup of what passes for tea, Wanda leans on the railing of the outdoor balcony next to her room, and looks out at the landscape. From here she can see Hope's Temple, or at least the top of the roof, and the tower of apartments near it. They peek out above the other houses in their spiral. She wonders what Pietro would think of this place, if with all of his speed he'd have explored it twice-over by now, perhaps have found something they might be missing.
She wonders if she'll ever get used to the feeling of wrongness that's always lingering at the back of her mind, that it isn't right that she didn't also die with the brother she was born with.]

no subject
He knows Wanda's been on the balcony for the last hour and it's when it passes the hour mark that Steve gets up, shuffles quietly out onto it from his side, hair a little mussed from his own attempts (and failures) at sleep. He watches her for a moment, something he's sure she's aware of, then comes over and leans against the balcony beside her, looking out over the top of what they can see, noting how the light cycle of the unknown light source was at 'night' casting everything in shades of greys and blacks and purples. He didn't look over at her as he spoke.]
I still haven't figured out where the light's coming from...
no subject
Her eyes are drawn up toward the sky--ceiling of the cave--when he mentions the light.]
It could be a natural quality of the stone there. Perhaps it isn't as solid as we think. There could be light above it that shines through...I think there are other caves back in our world that have glowing worms also--though I don't know anything about them. Just that they exist.
[She purses her lips together.]
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[He rested his arms on the rail, leaning over and looking down before he turned to look over at her.]
You haven't been sleeping.
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Of course, talking about herself isn't always easy. She hasn't been sleeping, or at least not well. Grimacing, she shrugs.]
No, I haven't. It's--[Does she want to go into it? To tell the truth? Perhaps it would be alright. It's not as if her problems are anything that he can fix.] It's hard to fall asleep. When I do, I dream. Of Pietro and I, before HYDRA. Of my glimpse into Ultron's mind. Worse, that moment during the battle when Pietro...
[She falls silent, reaching up to scrub her face with her hands.]
Too quiet when I'm awake and not quiet enough when I sleep.
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It would be nice if we had an off switch. Just a way to turn it off to get some rest. But every time it's quiet, every time there's down time, it's like... like the mind just uses it to go over everything. Especially things you don't want to remember. I wish it was just as easy as turning it off...
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It feels weak to think that way but she's tired and worn.]
An off switch. Wouldn't that be nice. [Her lips press together, thinning.] I think if we had such a thing none of us would ever turn it back on again, however. It would be easier to be numb all of the time I think.
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I don't think that's true. I wouldn't leave it off. Sometimes we need to remember the bad times along with the good. It reminds us of why we put ourselves out there. Why we do what we do. A break from it would be nice, but I wouldn't want to lose that feeling forever. Because after the pain's gone, there's just the memories of the good times. We need those.
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Perhaps. It doesn't make it any easier. [She wets her lips and then presses to the balcony railing, leaning over it slightly and then back again. A restless move.] How do you do it? How do you manage after everything? To sleep? To cope? To continue on...
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Because I have to. You keep going or you give up, and I've never been the give up kind of guy. Because I know that I'm doing good, even if it's just a little, and that someone needs that little bit. It makes it worth it.
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That's how I felt about Sokovia, when Pietro and I were still trying to save it by whatever means possible. Giving up was not an option there, and I think if we were in New York I could have put the same effort into protecting the world with the Avengers. I'm not certain how we're meant to "keep going" here in this place, and without a path it's difficult to keep from focusing on everything that keeps me from sleep.
[She offers him a wry smile, faint as it is.]
I wonder if I would have felt the same way in post-War Sokovia.
no subject
'Keep going' means different things depending on where you are, what's happening. I think what it could mean here is just... keep getting up in the morning. Help people who need it if you can, and don't give in to the bull these gods are spewing. Keep trying to find a way out of here. Giving up isn't an option, Wanda. Not for us.
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[It would be easier to stay strong if she could sleep, however. Not that she'll say that. Again, it would sound too much like complaining and Wanda just--it's not what she's trying to do.]
It helps that my leg is healed. As for the gods, I think it will be interesting to see where they try to lead us. Fear, I don't trust. Hope...Hope I'm reserving judgment on for the time being.
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I can't say I'm thrilled these are the people in control.
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We should...we should try to do something. To find a way out through the tunnels or search these buildings from top to bottom for anything we might have missed. There has to be another way out, we just haven't found it yet.
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It's nice to know someone would worry about such a thing. [About her.] If it concerns you, you could come with me. Mark sure my career as an Avenger is not ended before it's really begun.
no subject
I went through them with Nymeria when we first got here. There's really not much to see. And with the new... things in there as well as the bears, it's not worth the risk to just explore. Maybe you could see about taking a closer look at the ceiling. Seeing if there's some kind of structural weakness or maybe a hatch we can't see from here.
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[He gestured with his hand, lifting it up and pointing at the ceiling.]
Use your abilities. Ah, float up there, or whatever it is you do.
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I could try, though I'm not certain I could make it that high. It would be something to attempt, however...and if possible perhaps we could find a way to attach a line or a rope ladder of some sort, I'm not sure. Something to allow others up to examine the surface, search for weaknesses or openings.