hadriel_logs | regrets and mistakes [closed]

Entry tags:

regrets and mistakes [closed]

Who: Jack Benjamin and Johnny Storm
What: Keepsake things
Where: random things
When: slightly backdated to Oct. 19th
Warnings: language. will update as necessary.

[He imagines that, for most people, the chance of finding something from home must have such hope attached to it. For Jack it's little better than a threat. There is nothing that he wants from his world, nothing that he could actually have and certainly nothing that could bring him happiness or comfort. It feels too much like the cave and its gods are playing some cruel joke.

It's also possible that he's overestimated the happiness of so many others here. Jack has heard about some of the things that have turned up, and they don't exactly suggest happy or even stable home lives. Is he a terrible person if that makes him feel a little better? Probably. But at least he knows that the gods here don't play favorites, and the Door is an equal opportunity tormentor.

All of these thoughts and more are rolling around in his head, until a sight just outside his window derails them.]

What the fuck are you doing?

[That's the question that Jack asks after coming outside, because he just has to know why he's pushing a motorcycle down the street.. As always, Johnny is equal parts amusing and confusing. He circles around the back of it, idly brushing his fingers against the leather seat.]

Is it yours?

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I'm bringing my bike back!

[ Johnny says cheerfully, pausing in place to let him admire it. It's annoying that they don't have gas for his baby, nor are the roads created for a magnificent beast like her, but just having his bike back is a comforting thought. Perhaps the Door is kinder to Johnny than most others, or perhaps it's just as cruel, but Johnny's choosing to see the silver lining in the cloud, happy that there's something back here for him even if it's practically useless.

He lets Jack circle around it, ever the proud owner of such a magnificent machine, the sleek, powerful lines of his Harley a testament to his love for speed and horsepower, the memory of the wind in his face and the sun in his hair. ]

D'you like it? [ He regards Jack with a bright smile, running his fingers over the gleaming chrome. She's served him well, and he'd always be grateful. ]

[It is just like Johnny to look on the brighter side of things. Jack wonders if it's not some strange side effect of his flaming powers. His eyeballs probably glow in the dark. Meanwhile, Jack's thoughts are a little more cynical, and probably just as predictable. There aren't any gas stations here, and that makes the bike little more than a heavy paperweight. It's more trouble than it's worth.

Or is it?

The former prince stops, cocking his head at the Harley before looking up into Johnny's eyes. He smirks as he throws one his legs over it and settling on the seat and gripping the handlebars.]

Push.

[Yep, he sure is asking Johnny to push him like he's riding a tricycle and not an 800 pound machine.]

[ His eyeballs totally glow in the dark, and it's awesome! But that aside, Johnny's mouth hang open in surprise when the prince does the unthinkable, climbing up onto the bike like he belongs there (and it kinda looks like he does, which is weird to Johnny).

Johnny quickly shuts it, and obviously doesn't let go. Instead, he actually starts pushing it, finding himself entertained by Jack's boldness. He laughs a little and shakes his head at him, and he's pushing with all his might! ]

Dude, why don't you just ask me to take you for a ride high up in the sky?

[Jack doesn't exactly feel the wind in his hair, but here he is, a prince on a motorcycle with no gasoline, and another man pushing him for all that he's worth. It's ridiculous, it's hilarious, and he gets the feeling that moments like these are only possible with Johnny Storm.

But oh, he says that and Jack sees the possibilities. He has his share of reckless ways too, you know.]

Do it. [He looks back over his shoulder with a sharp blue-green eye.] Let's see you take me as high as you can.

[ This time, Johnny's the one who pauses, keeping the bike steady as he takes in just what it is that he's saying. He's come to enjoy spending time with Jack, that's for sure, there's a brand of madness to him that keeps Johnny hooked, a sharp unpredictability that draws him back time and time again. ]

Are you serious? You really trust me to do that?

[ Not that he's worried, he's just... surprised that anyone would trust him this much. ]

You're a hero, aren't you?

[Jack's smile stretches, not yet showing teeth. It makes him look even more sly.]

You wouldn't let anything happen to me. And if you did, you would spend the rest of your life making up for it. You would do every heroic act in my name, my face would be enough to make you get out of bed in the morning. You would make me immortal, Johnny. Your very own personal god.

[Okay, now he's just getting a little carried away. But this isn't a disregard of his own life the way it might've been before. Jack grips the handlebars and gets comfortable on the seat, while the smile fades into something more genuine. He hasn't seen everything about Johnny, but he's seen enough to know one thing.]

I trust you.

[ Johnny stares at him, wide-eyed at the thought that had apparently gone into whether he's going to get Jack killed. Jack looks like a wolf, sleek and sly, but there's something about the whole dramatic nature of it that makes him shake his head with unconcealed amusement. ]

My very own personal god, huh?

[ A swift kick secures the bike's kickstand and allows Jack to get off without the bike falling on him, and while Johnny usually pretty much only allows the girls on trips like these, he supposes he can make an exception for Jack. The man's right on all counts; Jack's death would haunt him, especially when the man's been all sorts of intriguing, a fascinating individual that surprises him time and again. The last thing he ever wants to do is to get him killed. ]

C'mon. I'm gonna make sure you live forever. [ He holds his hand out to him and grins. ] Hang on to me. I hope you know this is the first time I've actually ever taken a dude up there.

I'm happy to be your first.

[Heavy with the innuendo. It's in the curve of his lips, the brightness of his eyes. Jack glances at Johnny's hand before taking it. Hang on to me, he says. He steps just a little closer, uncertain of just how close he wants him to be.]

Do I need to use protection? A helmet? Parachute?

Nah, you're good.

[ He turns around for him, gesturing to his back; don't think he's missed that innuendo -- he's definitely noticed, and Johnny spares a smile for it, the gaze lingering on the curve of Jack's mouth, those green, green eyes. Johnny finds that he likes it, more or less.

But now they've got flying to do and he shouldn't dwell on that much more. ]

All right, wrap your arms around me and hold on tight.

As you wish.

[A flaming man is about to take him flying in a cave that's been filled with everything from dragons to zombie nurses, but somehow wrapping hims arms around him feels like the strangest thing that's happened. Jack can't even think of anyone else or any other circumstances that could even bring him to this.

Jack breathes out, and nods once before realizing that Johnny can't see him.]

Ready.

[ Johnny hates underground cities as much as the next flight-loving, genetically altered metahuman, but there are silver linings in every murder cave, he supposes, and this is one of them: taking a new friend on a ride he's never been before.

Jack is one of the good things about this place -- there are plenty of decent and good people here, interestingly fascinating ones, too, but not too many quite as complicated as this person he's slowly but steadily drawing closer to.

He gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile over his shoulder, nevermind that having Jack so close and warm behind him, arms looped around his neck gives him warm, pleasant feelings that he doesn't quite understand.

His hand comes to close over where both of Jack's arms are joined, anchoring him solidly. ]

I'm not gonna let you fall. Promise.

[ And then he's focusing, his fine control over his power triggering a halfway change, molten plasma keeping clear of any of Jack's body parts.

Aaaaand they're off! Flying right up to the limits of the cave, speeding onwards. ]

I'm not afraid.

[In part because it's the truth and he doesn't want anyone believing otherwise of him. What's the worst that can happen? He dies? Jack's made his peace with that long ago.

But it's also this fostered trust. Jack knows that he won't let him fall, even if he hadn't made his promise. But the warm touch of his hand is reassuring in other ways.

And then they're off, and Jack's only awareness is of how high they are, how thrilling it is, how his heart hasn't raced like this in so long - if ever. He wants to close his eyes and enjoy the feeling; he wants to keep them open so he won't miss a thing. It feels like he's been given the world in a way that even Rose Benjamin couldn't manage. His grip around Johnny's neck and shoulders tightens, but only so Jack can bring his lips closer to his ear.]

Higher. Don't you dare land.

[ Well, he can't say no to that, can he?

Johnny goes even higher, dangerously close to the ceiling before he flashes him a wicked smile over his shoulder and goes down on a sudden dive, pulling up again with a cheerful whoop.

He tightens his hold on his hand briefly, pulling back up with a joyous laugh -- see, this is what he loves about flying, what he so happily shares with Jack without question. This is what it's all about, the freedom despite the restrictions, showing Jack what he sees when he goes flying. ]

[He would never need another drink, he would never need another drug, not if he could hold on to him just like this. His stomach dips when they do; it's like riding the most glorious roller coaster, and in those minutes Jack realizes that he never understood things like freedom and living, not really. He understands them now, in the most unlikely of places with the most unlikely of people.

He's breathing hard by the time it's over, arms still wrapped around the other man long after their feet are on the ground again. Jack reaches for Johnny's hand when he finally does let go, guiding it to his own racing heart.]

Does it still make you feel this way?

[ Johnny's heart is still thrumming when he lands, exhilarated from the trip around the cave -- it's not much, not compared to the wide open sky that he's come to miss more and more as the days pass, but carrying Jack with him, sharing that? It goes a long way to making up for it, even if Johnny doesn't understand why.

But then his heart skips a beat when he finds his hand being led to rest over Jack's rapidly beating heart, the gesture so unexpectedly... well, sort of intimate that he can't quite think of anything to say for a moment. This is new, but this is nice, and he finds himself missing the way Jack clings to him. Having the man hold on like that, that felt good, too. ]

Yeah. [ He says finally, and there's something that crackles between them, a strange sort of tension he doesn't quite understand yet, and he thinks Jack's eyes are so very, very green. ] One day I'll take you flying for real in a wide open sky. [ He doesn't move his hand from where it's resting over Jack's heart. ] You okay?

[It was an impulsive move to guide Johnny's hand to his chest, Jack feels it too. There's a moment of silence and tension when it lingers, but he can't bring himself to move it away.]

I'm fine. [He shoots back quickly, the breath that he inhales as shaky as the laugh that escapes him.] Don't make promises you can't deliver on.

Hey.

[ Johnny's uncharacteristically serious now, watching the way his chest rises and falls under his hand. Johnny is reluctant to pull away, but he does; even if he doesn't move out of Jack's personal space. There's something fragile, vulnerable about him here and now, like he's catching a glimpse of the real him underneath all that violence and viciousness, another facet to the complicated riddle that is Jack Benjamin. ]

We're going to find a way out of the cave and into whatever world is out there. I'm promising you the sky, and you're gonna hold me to that, okay? You trusted me when we were flying, trust me again now.

[For his entire life, Jack had focused on attaining a crown. There was nothing higher, nothing more valuable than that one single thing. He never once thought about how there actually was something above that, something that wasn't valuable but priceless. Butterflies crowned his father's head, but where did they go after that? They took to the sky, and that's what Johnny promises him. His hand falls from his chest just before his heart starts pounding even harder, like his ribs are a cage that it wants to break free of. Like a bird, like a butterfly, like Johnny himself, something that's meant to be free. To fly.

There is a sky beyond this cave. There has to be, right? Jack never considered that either, which shows the difference in how they think. He wouldn't have believed in it if he had thought about it. But Johnny says to trust him and he does. Jack stares at him with bright eyes, trying to swallow his words, the very emotion that he feels.

He thinks he knows what this is, even if he's only felt it once before.]

I'll hold you to it. [It's a hoarse whisper. Jack breathes out heavily, suddenly uncertain of what to even do now. So he grasps at the last moment before everything changed for him.] We should go back for your bike.

[ Jack is made to soar, a bird trapped too long in a gilded cage that sees the crown as salvation, and not another chain around his ankle. This is freedom in all its chaos and glory; exhilaration that cannot be found within palace walls, no matter how grand.

This is what Johnny promises, even if he doesn't know the reach of his words, how it inspires depths of emotion that swell in his chest. But what he knows is this: something weird's just passed between them, surely. It's a flicker of a moment, inexplicably intense, and for a moment there Jack looks like he's discovered something new. Johnny, for the life of him, doesn't know what it is; but maybe it's something Jack's realised for himself. Nonetheless, he presents a fleeting temptation, a strange one, an inspiration to brush his fingers over that pale cheek for --

-- well, reasons that still elude him, and he wonders at it. But it's brief, fleeting, and he moves on quickly in favor of his beloved bike. ]

Oh, right! [ He feels like he's just landed after flying again, his heart skipping a beat at that confirmation; and he's never been more determined to make good on that promise. He gives him a wicked grin, eager to steer them back to familiar ground. ] You can help me wheel it back, hot stuff.

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regrets and mistakes [closed]

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